Ubuntsha bubhekiswa ngokufanelekileyo njengexesha elibalulekileyo ebomini bomntu. Abazali abaninzi banomdla wokulinda umntwana wabo ukuba angene kule "yingozi" ubudala. Bayazi ukuba kuya kuza ixesha apho ukuziphatha kwendodana okanye intombi yabo kuya kutshintsha. Imigaqo yokuziphatha esekelwe ngaphambili kunye nokwenza izigqibo kwintsapho iya kuphelelwa yisikhathi, kwaye kuyakufuneka ifune enye indlela. Kwaye kwimiba emininzi kwizinto ezifundiswa ngumntwana osemtsha ekuxhaseni kwakhe, kuya kuxhomekeka ekubeni yeyiphi umntu oya kukhula kuyo.
Ukuba ngaba abazali babesazi ngaphambili indlela abantwana babo abancinane ababonisa ngayo ngexesha lokukhula, kuya kuba lula ukuba balungiselele eli nqanaba elinzima. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kwanokuba abantwana abaselula bayayiqonda into eyenzekayo kubo nokuba kutheni bazibonakalisa ngaloo ndlela. Kuba amantombazana kuthathwa njengengxaki evela kwiminyaka eyi-11 ukuya kwe-16 ubudala. Abafana nabo bajamelana neengxaki zentsholongwane kamva - kwiminyaka eyi-12-18. Inkathazo yenkqubela yomntwana osemva iqhubela phambili injongo enjengeyokuzimela, umzabalazo wemeko yobuntu obugcwele. Kwaye ekubeni kwimeko yanamhlanje iimfuno zokuzimela kwabantu ziphakamileyo, kubafana abafumana iingxaki zengxaki yobuntshwankantsha kakhulu.
Iimpawu zentlekele yobutsha
Inkathazo yesantya ayinakuyithathwa njengento eyingozi kuphela. Ewe, ngumzabalazo wokuzimela, kodwa umzabalazo owenzeka kwiimeko ezikhuselekileyo. Kwinkqubo yalo mzabalazo, kungekhona nje kuphela iimfuno zendoda okanye intombazana enelisekile ngokwazi nokwazi ukuzimela, kodwa kunye neendlela zokuziphatha eziya kusetyenziswa ukunqoba iimeko ezinzima ekukhuleni kwabantu abadala.
Kwiengqondo, ubunzima bokukhula buchazwa yimpawu ezimbini eziphambene ngokubanzi: inkxalabo yokuxhomekeka kunye neengxaki zokuzimela. Zombili zenzeka xa ngamnye umntwana ekhulayo, kodwa omnye wabo uhlala elawula.
- Ngenxa yenkxalabo yokuzimela, inkani, ukungabi nantlonipho, ukungabi nantliziyo, ukuthanda, ukuhlabalala kwabantu abadala kunye nokuziphatha kakubi kwiimfuno zabo, ukukhushulwa-mbambano kunye nobunini bepropati.
- Inkxalabo yokuxhomekeka kubonakaliswa ngokuthobela ngokweqile, kuxhomekeke kwisithuba esiphezulu, ukubuyela kwimikhwa endala, ukuziphatha, ukuthanda nokuthanda.
Ngamanye amazwi, umfana uzama ukwenza i-jerk aze ahambe ngaphaya kweemimiselo ezisungulwe ngaphambili, apho sele sele ikhule khona. Kwaye kwangexesha elifanayo, ulindele ukuba abantu abadala bamnike ukhuseleko lo mgca, kuba umntwana osemva akasakhuli ngokwaneleyo ngokwengqondo nangentlalo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukulawulwa kwenkathazo yokuxhatshazwa kwintsholongwane kubangalisa abazali. Bavuyiswa kukuba ngobudlelwane babo obuhle nomntwana akukho zongongelo. Kodwa ekuphuhlisweni komntu osemtsha, le ndlela ayiyonto encinci. Isikhundla "Ndingumntwana kwaye ndifuna ukuhlala" uthetha ngokuzithemba nokukhathazeka. Ngokuqhelekileyo lo mzekelo wokuziphatha uqhubeka nokuba udala, ukhusela umntu ukuba abe ilungu elipheleleyo loluntu.
Unokukunceda njani umntwana osemtsha ukuba asinde kwintlekele?
I-Consolation kubazali "inkani" ingaba loo nkathazo iimpawu zibonakalisa ngezikhathi ezithile. Kodwa ziyakuthi ziphindwe ngokuphindaphindiweyo, kwaye umzekelo wokukhuliswa uya kusadingeka ulungiswe. Ukunikezelwa kweempawu zeengxaki zobuntwaba, eyona nto ifanelekileyo kubazali yindlela ehloniphekileyo yokukhuliswa, oku kuthetha ukulawulwa okunamandla kwindlela yokuziphatha komntwana, engayonakalisi isidima sakhe. Imigaqo yomdlalo kufuneka imiswe ngexesha leengxoxo ngabo bonke amalungu entsapho, ngokuqwalasela imibono yabantwana abakhulileyo. Oku kuya kubanika ithuba lokubonisa ngokwaneleyo isicwangciso kunye nokuzimela, ukwandisa ukuzithiba nokuzithemba.