Ingxaki yokusebenzisana phakathi koobawo nabantwana, ukuba babe ngabantwana abaselula kunye nabazali babo, ivela malunga nesizukulwana ngasinye kwaye ibonisa ukungqubuzana ngonaphakade. Nangona kunjalo, njengamanje, njengangaphambili, ukuziphatha kwabafundi abancinci abangabangeli nje inkathazo kubazali, kodwa kubangelwa ingozi ebantwini. Oku kubangelwa ukutshabalalisa kwesizukulwana sanamhlanje ukuziphatha kakubi. Kutheni iilwaphuli zentwazana kunye nezigwenxa ezikhulayo zikhula kwiintsapho eziqhelekileyo neziphumelelayo? Sizakuzama ukuphendula lo mbuzo.
Izizathu zokuziphatha okungahambiyo
Ngokutsho kwengqondo yengqondo, iminyaka engama-12, ngamnye umntwana ungumntu okhulayo onomdla kunye nabangenacala. Kodwa nje ngomnyaka kamva umntwana ofanayo nakwezinye amaxesha kunzima ukuyiqonda. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba intombazana yinkwenkwe okanye inkwenkwana, abazali baqala ukuva nokunyelisa kwidilesi yabo, qaphela indlela umntwana wabo utshintshe ngayo, kubantwana beemfesane kunye nokuphela kweengubo ezingekho mthethweni. Yile ndlela ukuqala kwexesha lokutshatyalaliswa okanye ekuthiwa yi-age-shift - kubonakala. Kwaye nabantwana abathobelayo kwinqanaba elinye bangakwazi ukulawula. Kulo xesha kwixesha loogqirha bezengqondo bephawula ukuzalwa kokuziphatha kakubi kubantwana nakwishumi elivisayo, oko kukuthi, indlela engavumelekanga ukuba uluntu lusebenzisane nokuphula umthetho, ukuziphatha kunye nekhowudi yomthetho.
Izizathu zokuziphatha okungahambiyo kuzo zonke "ezinzima" eziselula, njengomthetho, ziyafana:
- Uvavanyo lokuphuhliswa komzimba. Abasemagunyeni abanesibindi kunye nesibindi abaphantse badinga ukuzama ukufumana ithemba labanye. Ngokuncinci, abafana abancinci nabancinane, ngokuchaseneyo, bahlala bephoqelekile ukuba baqinisekise ukuba baxabise abanye, kwaye bazame ukugqwesa ngamanye amaxesha ngenxa yezenzo ezingathandabuzekiyo.
- Ukuvuthwa kwezesondo kuhambelana nokunyuka kwamahomoni ekhokelela ekukhawulezeni, ukugwenxa, ukungathobeli, njl njl.
- Ukunganyaniseki kwinqanaba kunye nantoni yokuphuhliswa komntu. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ingxaki yokuziphatha okungahambiyo kukuba ukukhula kwabantu abadala kunye nokuvunyelwa kwabaselula kuthintana nokungabikho kokuqonda iimfuno zakhe kunye namabango kubantu abadala.
Abantwana basabela kakubi ngokugxeka abadala. Ukuziphatha kwabo kusoloko kuzinzile kwaye kunokutshintsha kwimeko eqhelekileyo embi kwiimeko ezichaphazelekayo.
Ukongezelela koku ngasentla, unokufumana iimpawu ezinjalo zokuziphatha okubi njengobundlobongela kwiintsholongwane , ubuncinane beengcaphephe, iimvakalelo ezimbi malunga nokufunda, ukungqubuzana kwentsapho, ukuphunyuka ekhaya, ukungalunganga okuncinane kwinqanaba lokuphulwa koqeqesho kunye nemigaqo yokubambisa abantu, kunye neemeko ezinzima kakhulu ezibandakanya zohlwayo.
F. Pataki wagxila ekubekeni kwakhe izikhokelo eziphambili zendlela yokuziphatha engafanelekanga yabantwana abaselula:
- mthetho;
- utywala;
- utywala;
- ukuzibulala.
Phakathi kwezinye izinto, namhlanje unokuhlangabezana nale ndlela elandelayo yokuziphatha yabantwana:
- ku sebenza;
- kleptomania;
- umdlalo kunye noxilongo lwekhompyutheni kubaselula ;
- ukuxhomekeka kokutya (bulimia, anorexia);
- ukuphambuka ngokwesondo (i-pedophilia, zoophilia, necrophilia).
Ngokuqhelekileyo, emva kokuphela kobuntwaba, ubunzima bexesha buphelile, kwaye ukuziphatha kwabaselula kuyayifumana. Ukuba oku kungenzeki okanye umntwana ebangela ukuxhalaba kubazali, kule meko kuyimfuneko ukujongana nokunyanga kokuziphatha kakubi.
Ukuthintela ukuziphatha kakubi kwabaselula
Ukwazi izizathu eziphambili zokuziphatha komntwana kuqala ukungahambi kakuhle, unokuzikhusela kwangaphambili. Nangona kunjalo, abazali bafanele bakhumbule ukuba ukuthintela ukuziphatha kakubi kubaluleke kakhulu kwiintsapho kunye nokuthetha okufutshane nomntwana. Ziyimpikiswano yentsapho edla ukukhokelela kwimiphumo engapheliyo. Ukuba ixesha lilahlekile, ukulungiswa kokuziphatha okungahambiyo kunokwenzeka ngeendlela ezininzi:
- Ukuxelela umntwana kunye nokwandisa ukufunda nokubhala kwakhe kwengqondo malunga neengxaki ezingenangxaki ezijongene nazo. Idatha yesayensi, amava kwabanye abantu, njl njl. Unokunceda apha.
- I sifundo semfundo. Indlela elula neyona ndlela elula yokufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo nentombazana kukuthetha naye ngolwimi lweesalathisi.
Kubalulekile ukumxelela ukuba uye wangena kwiingxaki ezifana naye. Oku akuyi kuba nokwakha ukuzithemba kuphela, kodwa kuya kubakho ukukhupha kakuhle imeko - Iiklasi kumacandelo ahlukeneyo. Emva kokuba unike umntwana kwimidlalo okanye iqela lokudala, unakho ukuqondisa iimfuno zakhe kunye namandla ngendlela efanelekileyo.
- Ukuba iindlela ezizimeleyo zokufumana ulwimi olufanayo kunye nomntwana onzima, akunakwenzeka ukuba uphendule uncedo lesazi sengqondo. Ukubonisana ngeengcali kuya kunceda umntwana ukuba aziqonde yena aze azinze ukuxabana kwentsapho.