Akukho mfazi ngosuku lomtshato wakhe nangomzuzu ucinga malunga nokuba umtshato kwixesha elizayo ungaphumeleli. Kodwa ubomi ngamanye amaxesha awunakulinganiswa, kuba umtshato uhlahlakele kwaye ukhohlakele, kodwa into yokuba yonke into yesibini esitshatileyo idibana.
Xa ukuphazamiseka kwentsapho kuxhaphaza kuphela indoda kunye nomfazi, umba wokuqhawula umtshato uphawulwa ngokukodwa ngendlela ephucukileyo. Kuthiwani ukuba kukho ukwahlukanisa kwintsapho kunye nomntwana omncinci kunyaka okanye xa umfazi ukhulelwe? Ngaba kunokwenzeka?
Umthetho
Ngokweziko ezisemthethweni ezibekwe ngabalawuli kwiNkcazo yoLuntu, ilungelo lokufaka isicelo kwi-Ofisi yeRejista yokupheliswa komtshato phambi koomntwana ongeyifinyelelanga omnye unikwe kuphela umlingane. Indoda ngaphandle kwemvume yakhe ayinalo ilungelo lokuqalisa ityala lomtshato. Umthetho ofanayo uqalisa ukuba umfazi ukhulelwe. Ukuba ukuvelisa, ukuqhawula umtshato ngaphambi kokuzalwa komntwana kunye nokuba khona kwintsana kunokwenzeka kuphela kwiqhinga lomfazi.
Amabhunga karhulumente ahlala ezama ukuthabatha indawo yabantwana. Naluphi na ubudlelwane phakathi komfazi nomyeni, ngenxa yomntwana, umama kunye noyise-ihlabathi elikhethekileyo elithe ngqo kuye. Ukusebenza ngokwenene kunjengale ndlela: inkundla, kunye nokuqhawulwa kwabantwana abancinci kwintsapho kuvele kuphela enkundleni, emva kokungenisa isicelo sinikeza ixesha lokubuyisana ngokusemandleni abo baqabane, abalwa ngeenyanga. Emva koko abatshatileyo balinde ukuvalelwa kweenkundla, ezinokuthi zisuka kwenye ukuya kweyesithathu. Oku kuya kuthatha iinyanga ezininzi. Ukuphepha loo tape ebomvu, musa ukukhawuleza ukufakela umtshato. Kungenzeka ukuba kwithuba elide ade umntwana aphenduke iminyaka eli-1 ubudala, umtshato awusadingeki. Ayikho imfihlo yokuba umntwana uvavanyo lweentsapho eziselula. Ngethuba lonyaka, yonke into ingatshintshwa, kwaye umathuba wokuqhawula umntwana oneminyaka elilodwa ezandleni zakhe uya kuhlala engummangaliso.
Iingcebiso kubafazi bamandulo
Ukuba iziqwenga zekomiti ephukileyo ayinakuhlanganiswa kunye, kwaye wenza isinqumo sokuqhawula umtshato emva kokuzalwa komntwana, ungacingi ngento yokuba ubomi buphelile! Ixesha xa umfazi oqhawule umtshato engenasiphelo, emva kwexesha elide. Kukho uluvo lwaloo mabhinqa, ngenxa yexesha elibi kodwa elixabisekileyo, kwixesha elizayo lenza imitshato epheleleyo kunye nemihlali, ingqalelo iimpazamo ezenziwe ngaphambili.
Abo baya kukuxelela ukuba abantwana bafuna kuphela ooyise, abaphulaphuli. Ewe, ukuhamba kunye nomfana oselula ngokungaqhelekanga kwi-ofisi yokubhalisa akufanelekanga, kodwa uyamlahla indoda encedayo wena kunye nosana lubuqili.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umtshato wakho wawubuhlungu kangakanani, musa ukutshintsha imithwalo yakhe kwintsana. Musa ukutyhaxisa uyise, gcina ulwalamano olunokwenzeka kunye nezihlobo ezisemgceni wakhe. Khumbula, ekugqibeleni, ukuba kungekudala uhambe ngokuvuyisana nale ndoda phantsi kwesithsaba, waza wamnika umntwana. Nangona kubonakala kuwe ukuba amazulu awela entloko yakho, yigcine ngokuzidla - "yonke into iya kudlula, kwaye le nto - nayo."
Ingane kufuneka ive ukuba uthando lwabazali ngaye aluzange lube buthathaka emva kokuqhawula umtshato. Ukuba kubantwana abancinane kakhulu eli xesha lobomi bakho liyakudlula lingaboni, ke abadala baya kufuneka bachaze yonke into. Musa ukuwahlukanisa. Kwaye into ephambili: oomama abangatshatanga abakho! "Unina ongatshatanga" liphela ligama lomthetho. Ngaba umntu unokuba yedwa njani xa yonke iminithi yobomi igcwele ukukhathalela umntwana okhulayo? Musa ukuvumela iimvakalelo eziphazamisayo zithathe iingcinga zakho. Namhlanje, umsebenzi oyintloko kukufundisa umntu omtsha, oza kuba ngumntu. Umntu ofanelekileyo kunye nootata olungileyo kumntwana wakho, uya kudibana.