Abantu baphatha ngendlela efanayo nathi. Ngale ngxelo kunzima ukuphikisana. Ubomi obuninzi obufezekileyo buhlobene ngqo nentembelo yomntu ngokwakhe kunye nemikhosi yakhe. Kwaye inendima ebalulekileyo kule ngxaki idlala ngokuzithemba. Yakhiwa ukusuka kwintsana kwaye inempembelelo enkulu ebomini bomntu, izenzo zakhe, isimo sengqondo kwiziganeko ezithile kunye nabantu abazungezile. Ukuphuhliswa kokuzithoba komntwana kunye nokuzithemba yinto enye ebaluleke kakhulu ukuba abazali bayifake phambi kwabo ukuze bavelise ubuntu obugcwele.
Ukuzithemba okuphantsi komntwana - yintoni enokuyenza?
Uninzi lwabafundisi banoluvo lokuba umlingiswa womntu ubunjwa ngenxa yendalo apho ikhula khona. Ukuba umntu ukususela kwiminyaka yobudala uyakhuthazwa kwaye axhaswe kwizinto ezithandwayo, ngoko-kuphila komntu omdala, uya kuziva amandla kunoma yimuphi umbandela onzima nangaphantsi kweemeko zobomi. Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo abazali benza impazamo enkulu kwimfundo, bengayiqapheli ukuba nayiphi na iibinzana zabo zingabangela ubuhlungu ngokusisigxina kunye nengqondo yengane yomntwana. Imizekelo yee binzana iqulethe:
- "Kutheni ndifuna isihlwayo esinjalo? Kuwe akusoze "
- "Ungabi neentloni, yintoni eya kukhula kuwe?"
- "Yeka ukwenza izinto eziyinyabi, bhetele uthathe into ebalulekileyo"
Impembelelo yabazali ngokuzithoba komntwana inkulu. Ingane efana nesiponti ithatha yonke into ethethwe kuyo. Ukuba umntwana uxelelwa ukuba akakwazi ukwenza nantoni na akakwazi, ke umntu akanakulinganisa kwimpumelelo yakhe esikolweni, emsebenzini kunye nayiphi na imisebenzi. Makhe siqwalasele umzekelo omfutshane womntu onesidima esiphantsi:
- umntu onesidima esingaphantsi kokuhlala esalindele ukuhlaziswa, ukuhleka usulu nokuhlambalaza;
- uba ngumntu olahlekileyo kunye nexhoba leemeko;
- uninzi oluphantsi kwezinto eziphantsi komhlaba, alithembi abantu, uhlala wedwa kwaye uhlala ehlala phantsi;
- soloko ebhekene nobunzima ekwenzeni izigqibo;
- uyamoyika yonke into nayo yonke into, uloyiko lweemeko zobomi kwaye uyazivumela ukuba ahlaziswe kwaye agxothwe;
- ekugqibeleni, umntu unokungabi namdla ebomini aze abulawe ngamaphulo akhe, aphendukela kumlutha weziyobisi okanye aqale ukusetyenziswa kakubi kotywala.
Le mizekelo embalwa nje, apho ukuzithemba okuphantsi komntwana kunokuhlakulela. Ngoko ke, ukususela kumncinane kubalulekile ukulungisa imeko kwaye wenze umntwana akholelwe kuwe. Yaye ukuba ungathandabuzeki ukuba ingaba inzala yakho inenkinga yokuzithemba, kufuneka uhlolisise ngokwakho okanye ngoncedo lengqondo.
Njengomthetho, ukuxilongwa kwengqondo yomntwana kubangelwa ukuhlalutya kwezenzo zakhe. Ngezenzo zokuqala zentsana, iimpazamo zokuqala ziza. Kubalulekile ekuqaleni kokuphila komntwana ukumfundisa ukuba azibone ngokwaneleyo izenzo zakhe aze akwazi ukuzihlalutya. Isibini sesibini esibalulekileyo ekufuneka sihlawule ngqalelo isimo sengqondo somntwana kuye. Ukuba uqaphele ukuba umntwana akanandaba, akahlali kunye nokuziphatha ngendlela engaqinisekanga kwezinye iimeko, kubalulekile ukuba nencoko naye kwaye ufumane izizathu zokuziphatha. Mhlawumbi balala ekuziphatheni kwabazali ngokwabo. Ngendlela, isivakalelo sesidima somntwana sichaphazeleka ngendlela abazali abaphatha ngayo. Ukuba uyise okanye umama usoloko ekhononda ngobomi kunye nokuhluleka kwabo, umntwana unokukwazi ukufumana esi simo sengqondo ebomini.
Indlela yokwandisa ukuzithemba komntwana, kude kube sekwephuzile kakhulu?
Ukulungiswa kokuzithemba kubantwana kufuneka kube yinkqubo egxile kwaye iqhubekekayo, kunye nokungabonakali komntwana. Kukho iindlela ezininzi:
1. Ukuchonga imisebenzi yomntwana ukuze anike ithuba lokuzihlola yena nomkhosi wakhe kwisenzo. Umzekelo:
- ukuphulaphula iingoma kunye nomculo (kulandelwa ngxubusho yento evezwe kwaye ibonwayo);
- Ukufundwa kwehlabathi elijikelezileyo kunye novavanyo oluninzi;
- Ncedisa umntwana xa exoxa ngezihloko ezithandayo, iimpendulo kwimibandela, njl.
2. Nika umntwana ilungelo lokukhetha. Oku kungabonakalisa nasiphi na isenzo, ukuqala ngeyiphi iplani yokutya okanye yintoni umdlalo odlala kuyo kwaye ugqibe ngokukhetha apho uhamba khona kunye nohlobo luni lomsebenzi onokukwenza. Khuthaza nayiphi na imisebenzi yomntwana kunye nomdla wakhe kumacandelo athile kunye nezinto zokuzilibazisa. Oku kuya kumvumela ukuba enze ukhetho lwakhe lokuphila.
3. Ukuphulaphula umculo, iingoma, iingoma okanye izandi zendalo ziya kumvumela umntwana ukuba afunde ukuhlula isandi esinye kwesinye, ukuhlalutya nokukhetha inkcazelo yento evezwe. Kamva kuya kunceda umntwana ukuba achaze iingcamango zakhe neemvakalelo zakhe.
4. Imisebenzi yokudibanisa nomntwana ayiyi kunika induduzo kunye nokuzithemba.
Ukongeza kwindlela ezi ngasentla zokwandisa ukuzithemba kubantwana, kuyafaneleka ukubeka ingqalelo kwindlela ozijonga ngayo ngaphandle nangendlela oziphatha ngayo nosana kunye nabanye. Kufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba abantwana bafunda ubomi kungekuphela komdlalo, kodwa nangokuxelisa. Ngoko ke, musa ukuphuka kumntwana, ukuba unosuku olulukhuni, ungabonakali ubuhlobo nomntwana, musa ukuhlwaya okanye ukumgxeka. Umzekelo wakho omhle kunye nenkcazo yokuba kutheni okanye akufanelekanga ukwenza izenzo ezahlukeneyo kuya kwenza umntwana wakho enze ukhetho olufanelekileyo ebomini nokwakha ukuzithemba. Emva koko awuyi kuba nombuzo, indlela yokuphakamisa ukuzithemba komntwana.