Ukwenza isigqibo sokutshata, ndingathanda ukukholelwa ukuba le ndoda iya kuvela yonke into. Kodwa kunkwantya ukukhohliswa, iinyanga ezimbalwa emva komtshato, ukufumanisa ukuba onke amazwi akhe ayinyani, ukuba ulandelelanisa ezinye zeenjongo zakhe okanye unemibono eyahlukileyo ebomini nale ndoda. Ngoko ukuba ungayazi njani umlinge womntu oza kutshata naye, yintoni ofuna ukuyifumana ngaye?
Yintoni ofuna ukuyifumana malunga nomntu oza kutshata naye?
Ngoko, yimiphi imiba kufuneka ixoxwe kwaye iqwalaselwe ngaphambi kokuya kubhalisi ukuba ukwazi umntu olungcono?
- Isikhundla semali seqabane elizayo, nokuba unako ukukwazi ukuhlala kunye okanye ukudibana ndawonye, nonke nifuna ukufumana umsebenzi wexeshana, umsebenzi ohlawulelwayo.
- Ziziphi izinto ezinkulu zokuthenga eziza kuba kuwe kwindawo yokuqala - indlu, imoto, njl.
- Ufuna ukuyiphi na injongo xa ushade - ukufumana imeko yowesifazane otshatileyo okanye ithuba lokuba ngokusemthethweni kwintanda yakho?
- Yintoni ekutsala kakhulu kwiqabane lakho, kwaye yintoni eyona nto ikrakra?
- Ziziphi utshintsho kumdlalo wakho ozimisele ukuzenza ngenxa yokudala intsapho.
- Ucinga ntoni ngokukrexeza?
- Ngaba zikhona iingxaki zempilo ezinzulu?
- Nguwuphi ubude bokuba ubomi besondo buya kwamkeleka kuwe?
- Unokuthanda nini unomntwana kwaye unabantwana abangakanani ocebayo?
Le mibuzo iyakunceda ufunde kumntu indlela ekuphatha ngayo, kodwa oko kungoba uya kuthetha inyaniso?
Indlela yokufunda inyaniso kumntu?
Siye saqikelela ukuba sifuna ukufumana malunga nomntu oza kutshata naye. Kodwa ngaba unokukwazi ukwazi xa exelela inyaniso? Kuyavela, unako! Indlela yokwenza oku kwaye ukugweba umntu onamaxoki uyazi i-psychology. Nazi izihlandlo ozifunayo ukuba ubeke ingqalelo ngexesha le ncoko:
- Umntu okhohlisayo uvakalelwa kukuba akanakukhathazeka ngokwengqondo kwaye ngokoqobo uzama ukuthatha indawo encinci kangangoko. Oko kukuthi, unako ukugubha, ubeke unyawo lwakhe enyaweni, uqine imilenze yakhe okanye iingalo, unqamle intloko, uthathe intamo yakhe. Kwakhona, umntu obandakanyekayo uzama ukudala umqobo phakathi kwakho, ukubeka into phambi kwakhe.
- Ngokuqhelekileyo iimvakalelo zilandela ngokukhawuleza emva kokuba amazwi athethiweyo. Ukuba umntu uthe wathetha okokuqala, kwaye emva kwesikhashana, wapenda i-grimace efanelekileyo ebusweni bakhe, ngoko-ke, mhlawumbi, uyabumba. Kwakhona, abantu badla ngokuphindaphinda, bezama ukudala ukunyaniseka kobunyanisekileyo, oko kungukuthi, nangona umntu omnandi kakhulu, baya kumncuma onke amazinyo angama-32, ukuthukuthela, ukugubha nokudabukisayo, ukuvumela ukuhamba kweencazi.
- Kwakhona kunzima kakhulu kumdlali ongenamsebenzi wokwenza umboniso wamehlo. Mkhangele ukuba umntu uyamncoma ngomlomo omnye, eshiya amehlo akhe abanda, mhlawumbi ulala.
- Amanga anikezela kunye nokunyanzelisa kwezandla - ukuchukumisa indlebe, isicu sempumlo, amehlo okanye ubuso. Ukugqithisa ngokweqile kunokwenzeka, akuqhelekanga kumntu ngexesha eliqhelekileyo.
- Ukucacisa imibuzo kunye negama elingenangqondo lempendulo liphinde linikeze i-vervish.
Uyazi njani ukuba uyamthanda umntu okanye akunjalo?
Xa ufuna ukwazi umntu osondeleyo, wenza konke oku. Kwaye xa kuvela inkqubo yokuqatshelwa, intukuthelo nokudumala kuya kwenzeka, kodwa sibaxolela kakhulu abantu abathandekayo. Ngaba uyayazi njani ukuba uyamthanda umntu, ingumntu wakho okanye akunjalo? Nazi iimpawu ezimbalwa zezinto ozithandayo:
- Ukulungele ukunika iqabane inkululeko, ukuba yamukele njengoko kunjalo, kungekhona ukwenza izilungiso zayo. Uya kuba namava
kodwa makamvumele ukuba ahambe xa iqabane lichaza ukuba unoyolo lwakhe. - Awunomdla kuphela ekukhangeni kwangaphandle komntu. Unenkxalabo efanelekileyo malunga neengxaki zakhe, iingxaki, uvuyo kunye nempumelelo.
- Ukuba uvuma ngokulula kuye ngothando, kwaye emva kwesikhashana, kunye nokunyaniseka okufanayo, ngoko iimvakalelo zakho azikwazi ukubizwa ngokuthi uthando. Kufana nokugqithisa.
Imibuzo kunye nezimpendulo ezichanekileyo kubo, kuhle, kodwa jonga kwakhona kwizenzo. Emva koko, kubalulekile nje kuphela ukuba uthe (ukuthembisa iintaba zegolide ezininzi izihlandlo), kodwa nendlela aziphatha ngayo kuwe, into ayenzela yona.