Ayikho intsapho efanelekileyo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba abantu banzima kangakanani ukuzama ukukholelwa eluthandweni obungunaphakade kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba bafunge ukunyaniseka, nokuba isibhakabhaka asinasiphelo. Ngoko, ukuxabana, ukuqhawula kunye nokungahambelani kubomi bitshatileyo akunakuphepheka. Kodwa yinto enye yokwesaba ukulindela omnye umgca omnyama kulwalamano, kwaye ngokufanayo ukuba uyazi ngemithetho yokuhlala kunye nokukwazi ukulungelelanisa iingxabano ngaphambi kokuba zenzeke. Yingakho umxholo weengxaki zeentsapho, akayi kulahleka ukufaneleka kwawo.
Iimpawu zeengxaki zobomi bentsapho
Njengomnye umzekeliso uthi: ngubani oxhobileyo obonwe ngaphambili. Ubomi bentsapho akusoloko kuqikelelwa, kodwa ulwazi lweengqondo zezobudlelwane sele lusilondoloze izibini ezininzi kunye nale nyaniso kunzima ukuphikisana. Amaza ajongene nomkhombe wobomi bentsapho ahluke kakhulu. Ekuqaleni, ukungena kumanyano, abantu ababini abahlukeneyo baya kutshabalalisa ukuxhatshazwa, ukugaya, ukuhlukana okuncinci kunye kunye nokukhusela izimvo zabo kunye neminqweno. Le miqondo ibonakaliswe ngokuzalwa kwabantwana, ukukhula, imeko yokuphila kunye nomgangatho wobomi kunye nezinye izizathu ezingabangela ingxaki yomtshato. Yingakho kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba kulungele kwaye kutheni ixesha elithile lokubambisana ngokutsha lingaba yingxaki. Ngoko, ngokweengcali ezininzi zeengqondo kunye neenkcukacha, iingxaki zobomi bentsapho ngeminyaka zibukeka ngathi.
Ingxaki yonyaka wokuqala wobomi bentsapho
Eli xesha libonakaliswa ngumlutha womtshato omtsha kumhlobo, kwizinto ezithile kunye nemikhwa, kunye nokuziphatha kwimihla ngemihla. Ukukhupha kuqala, ngexesha apho iimvakalelo ezindala zingabi ziqhaqha, ezivame ukuphazamisa eso sibini. Ukongezelela, ukuhlambalaza kunye nokuxabana kuqale, kuba iingcamango nemigangatho yobomi bentsapho ziqala ukuwa kwaye azifani ngokufanayo kunye nabatshatileyo abakucingayo.
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Ukuze usinde ixesha elide okanye ngaphantsi, abatshatileyo kufuneka bafunde ukusabalalisa imisebenzi phakathi kwabo, benze izigqibo kunye kunye nokuzama ukulungelelanisa nayiphi na ingxabano.
Inkathazo yeminyaka emithathu yobomi bentsapho
Emva kweminyaka emithathu, abafazi baqala ukuxhomekeka komnye nomnye kwaye bazame okusemandleni abo ukutshintsha into ebomini babo. Abanye baqala ukuthetha nabantu abadala, abanye bazama ukutshintsha indawo yabo yomsebenzi, njl. Kwakhona, inkathazo yobomi bentsapho, xa ijika iminyaka emithathu ubudala, ibonakaliswe kukuba ininzi iibini zinezingane. Akubona wonke umntu ophendula ngokulinganayo kumthwalo owela emahlombe. AmaMom, aphethwe ngokupheleleyo ngabantwana, atshabalalisa amadoda angenakulinganiswa kunye nokungabikho kolononophelo, kwaye abo baphinda bazive bengabalulekanga kwaye bengenasidingo.
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Ulwalamano aluyi kuhlahloka, ngeli xesha kubalulekile ukuzigcina umntu owake wathanda isiqingatha sesibini. Ukuba ngumbuzo wokukhusela umntwana-ntsebenziswano, kuyadingeka ukuba ufunde ukuthembela komnye kunye nenkqubo enzima kwaye ngexesha elifanayo ungalibali ukuba ngaphandle komntwana kusekhona iimvakalelo kunye nokwenza into emnandi omnye komnye.
Inkathazo yobomi bentsapho iminyaka emi-5-7
Emva kokuba behlala ndawonye kunye nenani elithile leminyaka, kwaye beguqule indlela yobomi, amaqabane aqala ukupholisa ngaphaya komnye. Ngokomlinganiselo omkhulu, oku kusebenza kumadoda apho iqumrhu lomlingane sele lithathwa njengencwadi efundwayo okanye bakhononda ukuba ubudlelwane buye balahlekelwa yintando yakhe yangaphambili. Ngelo xesha, kukho ininzi ininzi yenguqu evumela ukuba isibini sitshintshwe kwakhona. Kukho ixesha lokukhula komsebenzi kwabasetyhini abaye bahlala ekhaya ekhaya. Ukuphulukana ngokomzwelo kunye nomnqweno wokutshintsha konke akuhambelani neenjongo zamadoda, ezinokukhokelela kwimiphumo emibi.
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Kule meko, elowo maqabane kufuneka athathe isigqibo sokuba angabi nohlanga, ngubani oza kuzuza ngaphezulu okanye enze umsebenzi. Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma kwintlekele inokuba yinkululeko yokuzikhethela eyenziwa ngabafazi, omnye umnye. ubomi kumgaqo: "Ukuba ufuna ukuhlala, vumela uhambe." Ukubuyisa iimvakalelo endala akuyona ingcamango engcono. Kungcono ukuyihlaziya ngokuncedisa iiholide ezidibeneyo okanye iindwendwe zasekhaya zothando.
Inkathazo yentsapho iminyaka eyi-10
Oku kubandakanya inkathazo yobomi bentsapho 12 ne-13 iminyaka. Kubonakala ngathi emva kwexesha elide akukho nto inokushukumisa indlela yentsapho. Nangona kunjalo, ngeli xesha, ngamnye umtshato uqala inkxalabo yobudala obuphakathi, ukuphoqeleka ukujonga emva, nokuvavanya oko kwenzelwe ebomini. Abaninzi bayesaba ukuba kukho ixesha elincinci kakhulu kwaye kufuneka uqale ubomi ukususela ekuqaleni. Eli lixesha lesibini elimangalisayo, apho, ngokusukela ulutsha, abafazi baqala ukupholisa kwaye batshintshane.
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Ngexesha lokuqalisa inzala yakho, umntu akudingeki ukuba angene ngaphakathi kwakho. Kungcono ukuzisombulula ezi ngxaki kunye namabango okuphila ndawonye. Amaqabane abalulekile ukuba abe nenkxaso engaphezulu komnye kunokuba ngaphambili. Iminyaka engama-10-13 kunzima ukugcina umnqweno, kodwa ukuba ube ngabahlobo bokwenene kwaye ungaboni ngxabano malunga nezihlwele - umsebenzi unokwenzeka.
Inkxalabo yobomi obudibeneyo
Eyona nto ibonisa ukuba abafazi baqala ixesha "lesidenge esingenanto" - abantwana bakhula kwaye bajikeleza, kwaye ukuba bahlala behlala ndawonye, ngoko umtshato ungase uqhube.
Yintoni endiyenzayo? Kubalulekile ukuba abatshatileyo bakhumbule ukuba ukushiya abantwana ukusuka ekhaya kuyithuba elihle lokuqalisa ulwalamano olutsha, njengoko kwakunobutsha bakhe. Ngokuphathelele ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba uzame into entsha kunye nokuvavanya embhedeni. Kwaye ukugcina ulwalamano oluhle, kwanele ukuphatha umlingane wakho ngesisa noqwalaselo.
Ukongezelela koku ngasentla, kukho ukubizwa ngokuba yi-non-normative crises family.
Kwimeko nayiphi na imeko, ukwazi ukuba ixesha elithile lokubambisana ubomi lunokuba nzima, kuyafaneleka ukuba ulungele. Ngokukhawuleza ukuba ingxaki ezayo izayo, kufuneka uqokelele amandla kwaye uguqulele ubuhlobo kwisondlo esitsha. Khumbula ukuba kunye neminyaka yothando ayifuni. Iyakutshintsha kwaye ivumela abatshatileyo ukuba benze izinto ezintsha ekufumaneni.