Akuyimfuneko yokwesaba, emva kokufunda isihloko sesicatshulwa esithi "Indlela yokulahla umyeni wakhe?", Akuyi kuba malunga nokuqedwa komzimba wengqabane. Siza kuthetha malunga nendlela enokubambisana ngayo nomyeni wakhe utywala. Kucacile ukuba utywala ngumzimba kwaye kufuneka uphathwe, kodwa ngawo onke amasu anamhlanje umphumo omuhle akunakwenzeka ukuba umntu akafuni ukuphathwa. Yaye yintoni ehleliyo yowesifazane, ngaphandle kokuba uthi: "Ndifuna ukulahla umyeni wam utywala, ndincede"? Emva koko, ukuhlala nomntu onobushushu akunakwenzeka.
Indlela yokuqhuba umyeni wakhe ngaphandle kwendlu?
Ungamlahla njani umyeni wotywala? Ewe, thabatha kwaye uqhube, iingxaki! Ngoko cinga abo abangazange bahlangabezane nale ngxaki. Enyanisweni, kufuneka uqale nawe.
- Umfazi oye wahlala nomyeni wakhe ixesha elide kaninzi akazi ukuba angayigxotha njani umtyholi, kungekhona ngenxa yokuba engacingi ngokuqhawula umtshato kunye nokukhutshwa komyeni wakhe. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba uyamthanda lo mntu, uzama ukunceda, ukholelwa ukuba imeko iya kutshintsha, uyayeka ukusela kwaye yonke into iya kuba njengaphambili. Kodwa oku akukwenzekayo, kwaye loo ntokazi iyaqhubeka ihlala nomnxila, kwaye, ukuba isi sibini singabantwana, lona wesifazane kunye nabantwana bayahlupheka. Ukuba utywala kunye nomntu ophilileyo unokwenkqonkqo kubathandekayo bakhe, kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuthetha ngotywala. Kwiimeko ezinjalo kufuneka uqaphele ngokucacileyo ukuba unyango alithwali isiqhamo, ukuba awukwazi ukunceda umntu onxilisayo, kwaye akayi kubuhlungu kuye, kodwa wena kunye nabantwana.
- Ukuqonda isidingo sokushiya umyeni wakho, cinga ngendlela yokuphumeza injongo yakho. Ukunyamekela kwakho kuthintela njani abantwana, abazali nabahlobo. Cinga malunga nokuba uza kuzama ukuziphindisela kumhlobo wakho, izihlobo okanye izalamane.
- Emva kokuvavanya le meko, gqibo malunga nokuqhawula umtshato kunye nokwahlukana kwintsimi. Nangona umyeni engabonakali ukuthambekela kobundlobongela, kungcono ukuyeka ukuhlala naye kwintsimi enye ngokukhawuleza. Ukuba indlu yakho, ngoko xa ingenzi, yitshintshe iitshi, uze uqoke izinto uze ushiye emnyango. Ukuba uhlala kwintsimi yayo, ke uqokelele izinto zakho nezinto zezingane uze ushiye. Ukuba indlu iya kubini, kufuneka ujongane nentengiso yayo, utshintshiselwano, kodwa akudingeki uhlale kwintsimi enye kunye nomyeni wangaphambili. Kwezinye iimeko, kufuneka uhambe kwindlu yakho. Kwimeko enjalo, ukuhlala ngokuthengisa indawo yokuhlala kungcono kwizihlobo, abahlobo, apho umyeni ongaphambili engenzi isigqibo sokuza phambili, okanye idilesi zakhe engazi. Xa ushukuthela, zama ukukhusela umyeni wangaphambili ukuba wazi apho uhamba khona. Kwiimeko ezigqithiseleyo, tshintshela abantwana kwesinye isikolo (ngokugqithiseleyo, kuba abantwana baya kuba yinkxalabo eyongezelelweyo) ukuze indoda ingenakukuchaphazela.
- Indoda, okwenene, ukwazisa ngesigqibo sakhe kuyimfuneko. Ukuba unesiqiniseko sokuthi akukho nto ingabikho nxamnye naye, unokukhetha, ngokukhetha ixesha xa ehlambulukileyo, xelela ngokuzenzekelayo malunga nomnqweno wokuqhawula umtshato. Emva kokuthetha, musa ukulibazisa ngokuhamba. Ukuba ulindele ukuphendulwa kakubi kwendoda, kungcono ukuba uthethe naye emva kokuhamba, ngoko xa ungafanele ube naye kwintsimi enye. Kwaye kungcono ukuba incoko yakho yenzeke kwindawo yendawo yoluntu.
Ewe, ukuba umyeni wakho uphumelele ekuhlaselweni kobugwenxa, uyayesaba impilo yakho kunye nobomi, uze ushiye ukuhlonipha, kubika isigqibo sakho kwisicatshulwa esishiywe kuye. - Emva kokuhamba kwakho, zama ukudibana naye, ngaphandle kweemeko eziyimfuneko. Shintsha iinombolo zefowuni, ungamvumeli endlwini. Ngamanye amaxesha utywala bazama ukushiya umkhuba wabo emva kokuba umfazi ashiye, kodwa oku kufuna ixesha elingaphezu kweyodwa. Kwaye nangona oko kwenzekayo akufanelekile ukuhlaziya ubuhlobo, apho isiqinisekiso sokuba yonke into ayiyi kuphinda iphinde ibe yintoni, kutheni inyathelo elifanayo? Shiya intlungu, ngezenzo zakho kunye nokungafuni ukulwa nesifo sakho iqabane lakho lafumana isimo sengqondo esinjalo, kwaye wena kunye nabantwana bakho nifanele ubomi obonwabileyo.
- Ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi, ukuqhawulwa kotywala, abazi indlela yokulahla isidakwa saloo ndoda, ubonakala egcina yonke inyathelo. Kule meko, unokuqhagamshelana nenkonzo yenkxaso yabasetyhini abakwiimeko ezinzima. Iingcali zeengqondo kunye nabagwebi baya kukuxelela oko kungenziwa kwimeko yakho.