Kwiimeko ezinzima, xa umntu engaboni indlela yokuphuma kuyo nayiphi na imeko aze aphendukele kwingcali yengqondo, uncedo oluthile lunokukunceda ukuqonda izizathu zaloo mhlaba ngokubamba kwizinto ezisisiseko engqondweni. Kodwa musa ukutshintsha yonke imbopheleleko kugqirha. Emva kwakho konke, uyisikhokelo kuphela emacaleni omnyama womphefumlo, kwaye umntu onokuthi alawulwe ngokufanelekileyo ngendlela efanelekileyo kufuneka amelane nale meko.
Izikhalazo zabantwana malunga nabazali
Kuhle ukuba abazali bobabini bathatha inxaxheba ngokuthe ngqo kumntwana okhulisayo . Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo kukho imeko xa ubaba ekhona kuphela ngokusemthethweni-uletha imali endlwini kwaye ngoko unelungelo lokwenza umsebenzi wakhe ozithandayo ngexesha lakhe lokuzikhethela. Umntu onjalo, eba nguyise, ngokuqinisekileyo akatshintshi indlela yakhe yokuphila yentsapho kwaye uyakholelwa ukuba umntwana kunye nayo yonke into enxulumene nayo yiyo imvelaphi kamama, kufuneka anikeze intsapho ngemali.
Kwaye abantwana bafumana isidingo sengqondo sokuba uthathathi athathe inxaxheba ebomini babo. Kwaye akunandaba nokuba inkwenkwe yintombazana. Ukungabikho uthando kunye nokunakekelwa nguyise rhoqo, ekugqibeleni umntwana usetyenziselwa le meko kwaye, ekubeni sele esemdala, uyamlahla uyise. Emva koko, kuzo zonke izihlandlo ezibalulekileyo zomntwana, wayengekho. UBawo akazange ahlanganyele novuyo lwentsebenzo kunye nentlungu yokulwa nomntwana wakhe. Ukuba ngumntu omdala, umntu onomzekelo ofanayo uya kwakha kunye nentsapho yakhe - indoda iya kuba ngumninimzi, kwaye umfazi ulahla umthwalo wakhe umama ongatshatanga.
Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ukukhumbula izikhalazo zabo zomntwana, umama uya engqondweni. Emva koko konke, kusemzimbeni nangokomoya kuxhomekeke kumntwana ukususela ngexesha lokukhulelwa kuze kube sekupheleni kobomi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba unzima kangakanani umama uzama ukulungela umntwana wakhe, ayikwazi ukugqibelela. Kwaye abantwana bayathandana nento ethile umntu omdala angayifumani.
Awudingi ukuba uphelele -kuba ube nemfundo ephezulu kunye nolwazi olubanzi kuyo yonke indawo, ukuba ungabi nemikhwa emibi kwaye uhlale uphakamileyo emehlweni abo. Ufuna nje ukuba nguwe - unina onempazamo, okufana nayo nayiphi na enye umntu, unokuba nomoya ombi aze amemele umntwana. Kodwa kufuneka uqaphele zonke iimpazamo zakho, kungekhona ngaphambi kwakho, kodwa nangaphambi komntwana, kwaye, ngaphandle kokulibala, ngaphandle kokugweba amatyala iminyaka.
Naliphi na abazali ababenetyala phambi komntwana, isenzo sobutyala sabantwana kubazali siya kusoloko senzeka, kumlinganiselo omkhulu okanye ngaphantsi. Konke kuxhomekeke kwimeko kunye nosana. I-psyche yengane inemilinganiselo emininzi kwaye apho umntwana omnye ekukhohliwe khona icala ngosuku, enye iya kukukhusela emphefumlweni (ngokuqinisekileyo okanye kungekhona), bonke ubomi.
Ukuze angabi ngumthombo wazo zonke izifo kumntwana, oya kuba ngumntu omdala, kufuneka azivumele ukuba abazali banelungelo lokwenza iimpazamo. Kwiimeko ezizolile emva kokuxabana, umntwana kufuneka achaze izizathu zokuziphatha kwakhe aze abuze ngokunyanisekileyo ukuxolelwa kuye. Umntwana kufuneka abe nomuvo wokuthi, nangona yonke into ephosakeleyo, uyathandwa kwaye akufanele abe neentloni ukuthetha ngokukhawuleza.
Ulibale njani ukuhlambalaza abantwana?
Ukuvumela ukuhamba kwezikhalazo zakho akulula, ngakumbi ukuba ukudibana nabazali akufunyanwanga kukudala. Kufanelekile ukuzibeka endaweni yomama okanye uyise kunye nokuzama ukuqonda indlela abaziphatha ngayo. Isinyathelo esona sifanelekileyo siya kuba yingxoxo phakathi kwabazali kunye nomntwana omdala. Kubalulekile ukuthetha onke amava kunye nezikhalazo, nangona abazali bengayifuni, kwaye bacele ukuxolelwa. Ngexesha elide, ubudlelwane buya kuphucula, ukuba kungenakuphikisa ingxabano, kwaye uzame ukuyiqonda yonke into. Ngokufundisa abantwana babo, kubalulekile ukuba bazibeke endaweni yomntwana kwaye baninzi ukuzama ukufumana imeko yezobambano ukusuka ekuphakameni kweminyaka yakhe.