Yintoni inceba ekuqondeni abantu ngumnqweno wokunceda, ngaphandle kokulindela okanye ukufuna ukubonga ngokubonga. Lo mbono wentsingiselo yenceba ayigqibe ngokupheleleyo, ekubeni le ngcamango ingabonakali kwiindawo ezahlukahlukeneyo.
Ubulungisa nobungakanani?
Umxholo othi "ububele" uhambelana ngokuthe ngqo kwigama elithi "elungileyo", nangona isibini inentsingiselo ezininzi kwaye, ngokomzekelo, lithetha izinto eziphathekayo zomntu. Okulungileyo kwisicwangciso sokuziphatha zizenzo ezijoliswe kwizinto ezilungileyo. Ububele ngumgangatho onguhlobo lomntu owenza okulungileyo. Ukuchazela umntwana ukuba yintoni inceba, umntu unokuxelela into engeyenabugovu yomntu ongaziwayo owehlule iindlela kumntwana ogulayo, malunga nenceba yabantu abanceda isilwanyana esingenamakhaya.
Ububele - i-Psychology
Kwiengqondo, ububele babantu bubonakala phakathi kweempawu zomntu . Kukholelwa ukuba umntwana omncinci akwaziyo ukuba yintoni inceba, kunye nokungaqhelekanga kwintsimi yakhe. Yaye ukuba ububele obungengabantwana abufundanga, uya kuba neengxaki ezinzulu kunye noluntu. Kubantu abadala, ububele babantu bahlala becinga ukungaqiniseki nokungaqiniseki ngokunyaniseka. Ukongezelela, abaninzi abantu bakholelwa ukuba umntu olungileyo ubuthathaka, kwaye ahlala esetyenziswa.
Ngendlela ebonisa ngayo ububele?
Ngokumalunga nomntu ongasebenziyo akanakutsholwa ukuba unomusa, lo mgangatho kufuneka uqinisekiswe ngezenzo. Kukho okuboniswayo kwaye nantoni na ithetha ntoni:
- nya mekela;
- ngqalelo;
- inkxaso;
- ngathandeki;
- ukuphendula;
- bubele.
Olu luhlu alukugqityi, kwaye kudla nzima ukuqonda ukuba uyayilungileyo okanye cha. Ngokufanelekileyo, ububele bunxulumene nomsebenzi wokuphila osebenzayo, ukuziphatha, amandla, iimpawu zokuziphatha eziphezulu, kunye nemibono nemizwa. Ngokwemvelo yayo ephezulu, ububele bunqabile kakhulu, imizekelo eqhelekileyo yabangcwele, abazinikeleyo, abathandekayo.
Yintoni elungileyo nokubi?
Uncedo olungenabugovu, umnqweno wokwenza ihlabathi libe bhetele, ububi bubuhlungu obuthathaka buhlungu, umonakalo. Iimpawu ezichaseneyo - ububele nobubi - zikhona nawuphi na umntu. Nangona abantu abahloniphekileyo nabanomdla bayaqaphela ukuba ukulwa neenjongo ezimbi kufuneka kuqhutywe phantse rhoqo. Icawa inika le nkcazelo ingcaciso: ukuba umntu uyazibuza ukuba kukho into embi neyobubi, usendleleni yokuqonda ukuba kuyimfuneko yokulwa nzima nemimoya emnyama ehlala kuwo wonke umntu.
Ukuphelisa ngokupheleleyo ububi obukhoyo kumntu abuyinto engavumelekanga ngenxa yobume bakhe. Kwaye akukho mfuneko, mhlawumbi. Ngaphandle kobubi, ubumnyama, ukwesaba kunye nezinye iimpawu ezintle, akunakwenzeka ukuqonda ukuba yintoni uthando nothando, ukukhanya, isibindi. Ngenxa yesi sizathu, abantu abaninzi baya kubabalo nobubele kuphela ngokulwa nomendo othile wobomi , bebekhulile kwaye banengqondo, bebekele izinto eziphambili.
Ingaba kukho into enhle?
Ukuqonda ukuba kukuphi ubuhle obuhle ebomini bomntu, umntu kufuneka aphenduke kwinkolo. Ngokomzekelo, ubuKristu. Sinokuthi uThixo ungumzekelo wobubele obugqithiseleyo, kodwa unenjongo yokuthumela izigulane kunye nezilingo kumntu. Injongo yabo kukukhokelela umntu ekukholweni. Njengomzekelo wobumnene obukhulu, umntu unokukhumbula uYesu, othe wathwala izinto ezilungileyo kunye nokuxolela abantu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ububi bubekwe kuye.
Ububele bokwenene nobuxoki
Ukubonakaliswa kobubele kunyanisekileyo kuluntu wanamhlanje kunqabile kakhulu. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunokwenzeka ukuba uhlangabezane nobubele bobuxoki, xa izenzo ezintle zenziwa ngokulindela ukubulela okanye ukwesaba. Uninzi lwabantu lukholelwa ukuba ukuba bancedisa ukubandezeleka, baya kubanceda ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Omnye ukwesaba ukunqaba isicelo somnye umntu okanye umkhokheli. Ngokuqhelekileyo ububele buyenzelwe ukubonisa-oku, njengomgaqo, "izapolitiki" nakwabanye amanani karhulumente.
Ngaba abantu badinga ububele?
Ngelishwa, abantu bayawuxabisa ububele obubhekiswe kubo, kodwa bahlala bephepha ngokwabo ukwenza imisebenzi emihle, ngoko umbuzo, nokuba umntu ufanele abe ngumntu onomusa, uvela kaninzi. Ewe, umntu olungileyo unokuthiwa "ubuthathaka", "i-sycophant", njl., Kodwa usebenzise ububele. Ukukhusela i-puppy engenakungenamakhaya, ulethe iibhegi kumntu osekhulile, uncedise abakhubazekileyo, ungadluli, ukuba uyakhubekisa ababuthathaka-konke akukona nje ububele, bubonakaliso obuxabisekileyo beempawu ezilungileyo zomphefumlo womntu.
Kutheni ufuna ububele?
Kuninzi kunabantu abasweleyo, ububele bomphefumlo bubalulekile kulabo benza imisebenzi emihle. Emva kokuba wenze into engenabugovu kunye neyokulungileyo, umntu uzizwa ephakama kwiqondo, ephakame emehlweni akhe. Emva kwexesha elithile, yena, mhlawumbi, uya kufuna ukuvakalelwa le miva kwakhona kwaye uya kufuna umntu ofuna ububele bakhe. Ngezenzo ezilungileyo, umphefumlo uya kuba ngcono kwaye ucoceke. Ingozi enkulu kulo mzekelo - musa ukuziqhenya.
Indlela yokuba ngumntu onomusa?
Ukuphuhlisa iimpawu ezinjengeenceba kunye nenceba kulula kunokuba kubonakale. Ububele asithethi ukuzidela rhoqo, okukhokelela kubantu abaqala ukuwasebenzisa, sebenzisa. Kufuneka ufumane umthombo wenceba emphefumlweni wakho, ukufunda ukufunda abo bafuna uncedo kunye nobubele. Yilokho inceba:
- Ukujonga ngokujonga okukodwa yimeko yokuqala yobubele. Kuphela ukuze ubone okuthemba umntu, iimfuno kunye nokwesaba.
- Ukunika nokulibala yimeko yesibili yobubele. Khumbula into elungileyo leyo eyathunyelwa kuye kwaye, ngokufanelekileyo, qhubela phambili udidi lweenceba, uncedise umntu osweleyo olandelayo.
- Ukwahlula iimfuno zeemvelaphi ekusebenziseni ukuphathwa kwimeko yesithathu yobubele. Kuphela ngokufunda ukwahlula abo bafuna kumthengi, omnye unokukhusela ukudideka kunye "nokutshiswa" kwaye wenze ububele bokwenene obuphilisa umphefumlo.
Ukuqala ukwenza okulungileyo kunokuba luncinci. Uzoqala phi ukuqonda ukuba yintoni inceba:
- ulwazi-ukuziqonda, unokuqonda abanye;
- umzekelo wabantu abalungileyo - ukukhumbula abantu abalungileyo, kufuneka ufunde kubo ngokuphathelene nabo kunye nabanye;
- Ukucinga okulungileyo kukuvela kwimpilo yengqondo, yengqondo kunye nempilo;
- umkhwa - sele uhlakulele umkhwa wokwenza ububele, umntu uya kujonga utshintsho oluninzi ebomini bakhe;
- ukungabikho kokugwetywa - ukugweba umntu kunye nokuhleka ngaye ngaye kulula, ukuhlakulela inceba, umntu kufuneka afunde ukuvelana novelwano kunye naye;
- ukudweba izifundo kwiimpazamo - bonke abantu abafezekanga, umntu akufanele athathe inxaxheba kwi-self-flagellation, kodwa funda izifundo;
- ubomi okwangoku - umntu oswele uncedo-afuneki nje kuphela ukuba abe nesihawu, kodwa ukunika inkxaso yangempela;
- ithemba, ubuhlobo - ezi mpawu zinceda ukubona iziganeko ezilungileyo kubantu.
Iingcebiso kulabo abahlakulela ububele:
- Ukuthanda zonke izinto eziphilayo kukubonakaliswa okubalulekileyo kobubele, kubalulekile ukuqala kunye nokuvelisa ububele kumntwana;
- umdla wokwenene kubantu - ngamanye amaxesha ufanele uxoxe nomntu, ubuze malunga nobomi bakhe, ukuze abe novelwano, imfuno yakhe kunye nokuphakanyiswa ngokomzwelo;
- Uthando luyindlela enhle yokubanika abo basemngeni obunzima.
Izilumkiso kulabo abafuna ukwazi ukuba yintoni ububele:
- umntu akanako ukuziqhayisa ngezenzo ezilungileyo-oku akuselungileyo;
- ayikwazi ukunikezelwa "ukuchithwa" - into elungileyo kufuneka ifaneleke kwaye ihambe kakuhle.