Ukuqinisekiswa kwengqondo - yintoni na indlela yokuphuhlisa ngayo?

Umntu ogxininisayo ngumntu ophumelelayo, ozimeleyo, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo abantu banokucasuka baze bagwetywe ngabanye, ngelixa abanye babangela ukuvakalelwa kunye nomona. Ukuqinisekiswa kuyisakhono esinokuphuhliswa xa sifuna.

Yintoni eqinisekisayo?

Ukuqinisekiswa ngumzekelo wokuziphatha komntu oye wathatha ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe, iimvakalelo, indlela aphila ngayo amava kunye nolwalamano lwakhe kuluntu. Ingqiqo yokuqinisekisa ivela kwisiNgesi, isichazwa njengokukhusela imbono yakhe, amalungelo kwaye ichazwe ngokulandelayo: "andinanto kuwe, njengam nawe, silingana nabo".

Ukuqinisekiswa kwengqondo

Ngokokuqala ngqa, imbono yokuzimela ibonakaliswe kwi-50 ye-XX yekhulu leminyaka. kwimisebenzi ka-A. Salter (isazi sengqondo seMerika-isintu). Kwimfundiso yakhe, u-A. Salter unxulumene nokubaluleka komntu ngamnye kuluntu, ukwakheka kobugwenxa obukhuselekileyo kunye nokulawula ukuziphatha okubi, ubuhlobo obunjalo phakathi kwabantu bubangela ukuphela kokufa, ososayensi wayenakholelwa. Esinye isibonda sogonyamelo kukungabikho komsebenzi, ukuziphatha okungabonakaliyo, kunye nomntu onobungozi kuphela, kwimeko ka-A. Salter, unomdla weempawu ezifunekayo kuluntu.

Iimpawu zokuziphatha okuxhasayo

Ukuziphatha okuxhasayo ngumgaqo ofana kakhulu nokuzimelela kwaye ngokufanayo kufana nayo. Kuziphi izizathu onokufumana ukuziphatha okuxhasayo:

• umntu ngokufanelekileyo kwaye uyaziqonda yena nabanye;
• uxolo lwangaphakathi nangaphandle;
• uvavanya kakuhle izenzo zabo;
• ngenjongo;
• uvakalisa ngokunyanisekileyo iimvakalelo zakhe;
• ivikela imida yayo kwaye ihlonipha imida yabanye abantu;
• Uphulaphula ngokunyameko kwaye akunike lonke ibali;
• Ukugcina iliso lokuthintana kweso kunye nomnxibelelwano;
• Uxanduva ngokupheleleyo ngokubonakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe;
• uyakwazi ukuyibilika kunye neemvakalelo zabanye abantu.

Imithetho yokuziphatha okuxhasayo

Ukuziphatha okuzibandakanya kubandakanya ukuthatha uxanduva lwakho kubomi bakho kunye nento eyenzekayo kuyo. Imigaqo-siseko okanye imigaqo, elandela ukuphuhliswa kwayo umntu oye waqalisa indlela yokuqinisekisa:

1. Ukunxibelelana ngokuphumelelayo nabantu abasisiseko sokunyaniseka, ukunyaniseka nokunyaniseka.
2. Ukubonakalisa ngenjongo efanelekileyo.
3. Ukungabandakanyeka kwimpikiswano kunye nokubonakaliswa kobugwenxa kwabanye
4. Hlonipha ingcamango yombono we-interlocutor, kungekhona kwingozi yakhe.
5. Ukuzama ukulungelelanisa kunye nentsebenziswano encedisayo ngokubambisana.

Amalungelo oluntu

Abantu abaye baxhasa le ngcamango yengqondo balandele iipolisi ezithile ezazisenziwa nguManuel Smith (wase-American psychotherapist) kwincwadi ethi "Ukuqeqesha ukuzithemba". Amalungelo okuqinisekisa ngokusekelwe kukuqinisekisa ukuba umntu ngamnye unamalungelo:

• vavanya ukuziphatha kwabo, iimvakalelo, iingcinga;
• Musa ukuchaza kwaye ungaxolisi;
• Qinisekisa ukuba ungakanani na ongekho uxanduva lokusombulula iingxaki zabanye;
• utshintshe ingqondo yakho;
• ukwenza iimpazamo;
• uthi "andiyazi!".
• abaxhomekeke kwimbono enobubele kwabanye;
• ukwenza izigqibo ezingenangqiqo.
• "Musa ukuqonda" abanye.
• ngokusobala, ngaphandle kwecala, esithi "andinomdla!".

Indlela yokulinganisa ukuqinisekiswa?

Ukuze ukwazi ukuqonda umntu onobuntu obunzima, okanye unesithambeko kulo mgaqo wokuziphatha, kukho uvavanyo olulula lokuqinisekisa, apho kuyimfuneko ukuphendula "Ewe", "Hayi" kwimibandela ecetywayo:

1. Iimpazamo zabanye zibangela ukuba ndicaphuke kum.
2. Ndikwazi ukukhumbuza ngokukhawuleza umhlobo wam msebenzi odlulileyo.
3. Maxa wambi ndixoki.
4. Ndiyakwazi ukuzinyamekela.
5. Andizange ndihlawule ukuhamba ngezothutho.
6. Ukuchasana kuvelisa ngakumbi kunezobambiswano.
7. Ndixhalabile ngezinto ezincinane.
8. Ndizimisele kakhulu kwaye ndizimeleyo.
9. Ndivakalelwa ngothando lwawo wonke umntu endaziyo.
10. Ndinokholo kum kwaye ndiqonda ukuba ndiya kujamelana neengxaki ezininzi.
11. Ndimele ndihlale ndiqaphele kwaye ndikhusele iimfuno zam.
12. Andihleki ukuhleka kweentlanzi.
13. Ndiyaqonda kwaye ndibahlonela abasemagunyeni.
14. Andikwazi ukwenza iindophi ngaphandle kwam - ndiyabhikisha.
15. Iziqalo ezilungileyo zixhaswa yimi.
16. Andizange ndixoki.
17. Ndiyasebenza.
18. Ndidandathekile yinyani yokwehluleka kwecala.
19. Izwi elithi, "Ukufuna isandla sokunceda, ngaphezu kwakho konke kwiphepha lakho" kwenza ndivume.
20. Abahlobo bandithintela kakhulu.
21. Njalo kulungile, nangona abanye bengaboni ukufaneleka kwam.
22. Ukuthatha inxaxheba kubaluleke ngaphezu kokuwina.
23. Ngaphambi kokuba ndiyenze nantoni na, ndihlalutya kwaye ndicinga ukuba abanye abantu baya kucinga ntoni ngawo.
24. Umona kum ongeyodwa.

Kubalulekile ukubala inani lezitatimenti ezintle kwizitshixo:

• I-A eyintloko: 1,6,7,11,13,18,20,23.
• Isibalulekileyo B: 2,4,8,10,14,17,19,22.
• I-key C: 3,5,9,12,15,16,21,24.

1. Isistim e si khokela ngeenombolo ezimpendulo ezilungileyo: zikhona iimpawu malunga nokuqinisekiswa, kodwa empilweni ayifakwanga. Kule nqanaba, ukunganeliseki akuxhomeki kwabanye kuphela, kodwa kulwabo. Isibonakaliso esincinane kunazo zonke iimpendulo ezilungileyo: umntu akasebenzisi amathuba amaninzi ebomini.
2. Isibalulekileyo ngu B. Ukuba kukho iingxelo ezintle apha, ngoko umntu unokukhusela ngokufanelekileyo umntu ngendlela efanelekileyo ukuze aqonde ubunzima bokuziphatha okuxhasayo. Ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba nobudlova. Amanqaku amancinci kwesi sitshixo ayithethi ukuba awukwazi ukufunda ukuqiniswa, kubalulekile ukubonisa umnqweno nokunyamezela.
3. I-C eyintloko : iiparameters eziphezulu kule ngundoqo zibonisa amathuba omntu omgangatho wokuba aqiniseke. Isalathisi esiphantsi seengxelo ezithembekileyo - umntu uyingcamango yokuzibona esona sibonelelo esilungileyo, unyanzelisa yena kunye nabanye. Kukho into ekucingayo.

Indlela yokuphuhlisa ukuqina?

Umntu okhuselekileyo, lo ngumntu oye waqonda iziganeko zakhe eziwonakalisayo kwaye wanquma ukutshintsha ubomi bakhe. Unokuzihlakulela ngokwakho, kuba oku kufuneka:

• ukubona ngokwakho inkululeko yokubonakalisa ukudala okanye ubuntu "bokudala";
• qaphela ukuba abanye abantu bakhululekile kwimibono yabo, iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo ;
• kuba nobubele kunye nokunyaniseka.
• jonga, ilizwi, ubuso kunye nesenzo kufuneka zithembeke.

Ukunyanzelisa nokunyaniseka

Ukuziphatha okuxhasayo ngexesha lokuxhaphaza kuyisisombululo esihle kakhulu sokumisa iiflathi ngabaxhasi, kodwa kunomngcipheko wokungena kwizinga lokuphathwa kakubi kwinqanaba lokuqala, xa kuphela amalungelo omntu oqhuba ukuziphatha okubalulekayo ayabonakala njengexabisekileyo, ngoko ke umntu kufuneka aqonde kwaye aqonde ukuba amalungelo aqinisekisayo abonakalisa kwisilinganiselo esifanayo ngamalungelo abanye abantu kwaye ke-olu luhlobo olufanayo.

Ukuqinisekiswa - iincwadi

Ukuzivocavoca kunye nezenzo zokuphuhlisa ukuqinisekiswa zifumaneka kwiincwadi ezigqithise kakhulu:

1. "Yenza njani yonke into ngendlela yakho." S. Bishop . Umntu ogxininisayo ngumntu ophumelelayo ochasayo ukuphathwa nokunyanzelisa. Le ncwadi ihlola iindlela zokukhusela iimfuno zabo, ngaphandle kokungena kwiinkqubela.
2. "Ulwimi lobomi. Unxibelelwano olungenabundlobongela. " Mnu Rosenberg . I-NGO indlela iye yasiza abantu amawaka kwaye yatshintsha ubomi babo ukuba ibe ngcono.
3. "Iingcamango nezenzo zokuqinisekisa, okanye Indlela yokuvuleka, esebenzayo kunye nemvelo." G. Lindelfield . Le ncwadi ichaza iindlela zokuhlakulela iimpawu ezizimeleyo zokusebenzisana ngokufanelekileyo nabantu.