Ubuhlobo obusondeleyo nomyeni otshatileyo ngenye yeendlela ezinzima kakhulu ubudlelwane. Kwenzeka ukuba akulula kumfazi okanye umntu ukuba aziqonde. Ubuhlobo obunjalo bunzima ukubiza ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu ababini. Abanye abantu bathathwe ngokungazibandakanyi kubo ngokungabandakanyi: abatshatileyo, abantwana.
Indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo?
Unokufumana iingcebiso ezininzi kwi-psychologist malunga nolwalamano nomntu otshatileyo. Nangona kunjalo, bonke babilisa phantsi kwinto yokuba ibhinqa kufuneka ibukeke kakuhle kwiimeko ukusuka ekuqaleni.
Iindlovu ezininzi zithi indoda esitshatileyo ayithandi umfazi wayo, kodwa iyamthanda. Ewe, uya kuthetha oku, kuba kungenjalo akayi kuba nobudlelwane bokungatshatanga. Kukho izizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo zokuba kutheni indoda esatshatileyo isenza isigqibo sokungabikho komtshato. Kodwa phakathi kwezi zizathu, kuphela ipesenti eyingxowankulu yokufumana uthando olutsha kwaye ushiye intsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu uthatha isigqibo sokwenza uxhulumaniso olutsha, kodwa akakulungele ukutshabalalisa intsapho yakhe, alahlekelwe ubudlelwane nomfazi odibene naye iminyaka yokuhlala kunye, ubomi obuqhelekileyo, abaqhelana nabo nabantwana.
Ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo luyinkimbinkimbi kuba akukho nto inokufunwa kumntu onothando. Kwaye into eyona nto eyona nto kukuba inkosikazi iya kunikwa indima ye-violin yesibili. Unako ukufumana inkxaso yenkxaso yemali, kodwa kuphela kwimali eseleyo kwintsapho. Unokufaka ibango ngexesha elidibeneyo, kodwa kuphela xa umntu ebalekela ngokusuka kwintsapho.
Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu uya kubudlelwane obungasemva komtshato, njengento eyongezelelweyo, kodwa engayifaki indawo yentsapho. Ubuhlobo obunjalo bunokuhlala iminyaka eguqukileyo. Izithembiso zokuqhawula umtshato zingaphuka malunga nokugula komfazi, ubudala bomntwana, iingxaki emsebenzini.
Kule meko, umfazi uqala ukuhlupheka, indlela yokuqonda isimo sengqondo somntu otshatileyo. Nangona kunjalo, uhlala eyazi inyaniso, kodwa akafuni ukuwamkela. Iinyaniso kukuba ebudlelwaneni obunjalo, amadoda ahlala ekhetha ukuhlala ezihlalo ezimbini: hlala kunye nosapho kwaye ube nenkosikazi. Kule meko, ibhinqa kufuneka lenze isigqibo malunga neminye imiba:
- ingaba ufuna ulwalamano olunjalo, ngaba ulungele ukuhlala kubo ngaphandle kwintsapho epheleleyo;
- Ngaba uhlala ekulungele ukuba kwindawo esemva kwaye anelisekile noko akushiye emva kwentsapho;
- Ngaba ulungele ukulinda iminyaka emininzi ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato wakhe;
- Ngaba uya kukwazi ukuphendula ngokuzolile xa umntu edinwa yinkosikazi?
Le miba kunye neminye imiba kufuneka ixazululwe ngokukhawuleza, ukwenzela ukuba kamva ungenzi isikhalazo, ungayityhola loo mntu.
Indlela yokugcina ulwalamano nomntu otshatileyo?
Ukuba, nangona zonke "iinjongo", ibhinqa lihlose ukugcina ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo, kufuneka alandele le ngcebiso:
- Musa ukugxeka indoda yendoda. Nangona ukhononda ngaye, unokukhubekiswa ngamazwi enkosikazi yakhe, kuba uziva edibene nomfazi wakhe.
- Ungaxeleli nabani malunga nobudlelwane. Ukuba umfazi ufumanisa ngengozi ngemicimbi yeqabane lomlingani, unokunyanzela umlingane ukummisa.
- Awukwazi ukubeka uxinzelelo kumntu.
- Kubalulekile ukuxelela umntu ngothando lwakhe nangokubaluleka kwakhe ebomini.
- Ekubeni kuninzi umntu ukhangelelana ngesondo elihle kwicala, inkosikazi ifuna ukuba yingcali kulo mcimbi.
Ubudlelwane phakathi komntu otshatileyo nomfazi otshatileyo
Olu hlobo lolwalamano lwamadoda amaninzi luyamkeleka ngaphezu kobudlelwane nomfazi okhululekileyo. Ezi mpazamo ziyancipha, azidingeki ukuba zinike izipho ezibizayo, abanalo ixesha elincinci kwiintlanganiso, kulula ukuphendula xa behlukana.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umfazi olwalamano olunjalo unobungozi obuninzi kunokuba obuhle. Ekubeni umfazi ngokwemvelo unemvakalelo kwaye uyabakhathalela, ukuzilibazisa kwicala ngokukhawuleza kubonakala kwintsapho. Yingakho imitshato kunye nokutshatyalaliswa komfazi ngokukhawuleza kunemitshato kunye nobutyebi bendoda.