Uninzi lwabatshatileyo, ngakumbi abo baye bahlala ndawonye, kungekudala kamva baqaphele ukuba ubudlelwane buya kuhlahloka. Oku kwenzeka ngenxa yezizathu ezimbalwa, eyona nto ibalulekileyo. Xa amaqabane akhathazekile, ingcinga yokuqala efika engqondweni kuzo zombini kukuba imanyano iphelile. Nangona kunjalo, musa ukukhawuleza, kuba kulula ukutshabalalisa ngaphezu kokwakha.
Ngaba kukufanele ukugcina ubudlelwane?
Okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukulinganisela i-pros and cons to understand whether it is worth saving the relationship. Ngoko, yintoni ebaluleke ngokwenene, yintoni eyokujonga?
- Injongo enzulu. Ukuba uceba ukutshata, zinezicwangciso ezininzi ezizayo kunye neprojekthi okanye le shishini-oku kufuneka kukusondeza. Ngoko ke kubaluleke kakhulu ukuyeka ngexesha kwaye ungaphuthumi. Nangona ulwalamano luphezu kokuphuka - akukaze kwenzeke kakhulu ukuba enze into yokubabuyiselwe kwizinto eziqhelekileyo. Ukumangaliswa okungalindelekanga kumntu othandekayo, ukuhlwa ngokuthandana kunye kunye, isimemo sokuchitha iveki kwihotele epholileyo kunye kunye - kwaye uya kuvakalelwa ngokukodwa.
- Ngokuqhelekileyo umdla. Ukuba unomdla kunye nemibono yembono kwizinto ezahlukeneyo zihlala zihambelana, musa ukukhawuleza ukuba uyingxenye yalo mntu. Ndikholelwe, kungcono ukucinga malunga nendlela yokuphepha ukuhlukana, kuba ukufumana umntu olungileyo ngexesha lethu kunzima. Ukuba khona koluntu kwiimbono ngokwawo yisiseko esaneleyo somanyano oqinileyo kunye ohlala njalo.
Ungalondoloza njani ulwalamano kwinqanaba lekhefu?
Ngoko, ungakuphepha njani ukuhlukana? Yintoni ongayenza njengowesifazane ukuba enze amehlo akho aphinde avuke kwakhona?
- Tshintsha. Okumangalisa kukuba, kodwa ukuphosa iingcebiso ukutshintsha iinwele, umbala weenwele okanye isimbolo sokugqoka kudla ngokuvelisa, kuhlolwe! Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba kukwanele ukubuyela ekhaya ngendlela entsha. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kunokuba "utshintsho" lwakho luya kukhangela, ukuba umema umfana wakho kwi-movie okanye kwindawo yokutyela, ngaphambi kokuhlaziywa.
- Ndimangaliswe. Musa ukhathala ngumntu wakho, menze amangaliswe, izipho ezincinci. Kukho uluvo lokuba ngabafazi bafanele bathabathe ingqwalasela, kodwa oku kuchanekileyo isizathu sokuba ulwalamano olubiweyo - kukho i-skew, kwaye le ntokazi iyaqala ukuqwalasela ingqalelo into enjalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yiyiphi na inzuzo.
Njengoko uqeqesho lubonisa, nobudlelwane phakathi kwekhefu kunye nendlela efanelekileyo kunokugcinwa ukuba eso sibini sinento ebaluleke kakhulu - uthando. Xa akukho nto ishiywe yoluvo, enyanisweni, akukho nto inokuyigcina.