Namhlanje siyazama ukufumanisa indlela yokucela ukuxolisa kumntu ukuba uziva unetyala. Kwaye okokuqala kubalulekile ukuqonda ngokwakho imithetho ephambili yokuxolisa kumfana:
- Ngokuqinisekileyo, umfana othandekayo ufuna ukufika ngamazwi amahle okucela uxolo, kodwa umgaqo ophezulu kukuba ukuguquka kwakho kufanele kube yinyani. Indlela ekuxolisa ngayo ayiyi kubaluleke kakhulu, ngakumbi xa ukhathazeke kakhulu;
- Intanda kufuneka uqonde ukuba uyazi iphutha lakho kwaye ufuna ukuphucula imeko;
- Ungazami ukuzithethelela ngokuxolisa kumntu osithandayo. Ungalingi ukuzama ukutshintsha inxalenye yecala kumagxa akhe, uyibuyisele ixesha elizayo-ngoku ucela ukuxolelwa;
- Musa ukuzibandakanya kwi-flagellation, ungazihlazisi. Cela ukuxolelwa malunga noko ufanele ukugwetywa.
Indlela yokuxolisa kumfana?
Kodwa, ngokwenene, kuxhomekeke kwimeko, ukuxolisa kumntu kunokungafani kakhulu:
- nzulu. Ukuba ingxabano ibaluleke kakhulu, kungcono ukulawula kunye nengxoxo enzulu. Ngokukodwa ukuba i-excuse kufuneka ilandelwe ngcaciso. Ukumemezela oko ucinga ukuba akuphosakeleyo kuwe (kwaye kungekhona ukuziphatha kwakhe), ukwandisa amathuba okubambisana. Ngokukodwa xa uxolisa kumyeni wakho, kuba zonke iingxaki zentsapho kufuneka zixoxwe kwaye zisonjululwe kunye, kwaye zingabonakali ngamagama amabrazyvatsya;
- zothando. Kukholelwa ukuba le ndlela yokuxolisa ifanelekileyo kumantombazana, kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba umntu okhubekileyo akayi kuvuyela ukufumana kuwe uphawu olunjengalo. Amakhwenkwe awanakonakaliswa yimisebenzi emihle, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo le nyathelo isinceda ukuba umntu okhubekileyo akhulume. Ungabhaka ikhekhe ngokubhaliweyo, yenza ibhandi ngokuxolisa, kucula phantsi kwefestile serenade, ngokubanzi-ukubonisa ingcamango;
- bha liweyo. Ukuxolisa kumntu othandekayo yindlela efanelekileyo kulabo abangayazi indlela yokukhetha amagama. Okokuqala, ngoko ucinga malunga nawo onke amagama, ngokucacileyo kwaye ubonise ngokunyanisekileyo ukuzisola kwakho. Ukuba ulwaphulaphulo alubalulekanga, unako
zibophelele kumyalezo omhle wesicatshulwa okanye icatshulwa eludongeni kwinethiwekhi yoluntu; - ehlekisayo. Le ndlela ifanelekile ukuba unetyala "ngendlela elula" kwaye uzive ukuba lo mntu ngokwakhe akayilindi, ndingakuxolela njani. Mnike ithuba elihlekisayo, uthumele iposikhadi elihle, okanye, umzekelo, ukunika ititena ngamagama ekufuneka abekwe ngokukhawuleza kwisiseko sobuhlobo obuqinileyo.
Yiphi indlela ongayi kukhetha ngayo, ukuya ekupheleni. Njengoko ootata bathi: akukho mntu uphosayo kuphela ongenzi nto. Uya kukuxolela, uya kubona!