Ngaba iintlanzi zithetha uthando?

Esinye sezihloko ezipapashwe kakhulu ngexesha lethu yingxaki yobundlobongela basekhaya. Izibalo zichaza ukuba kwiimeko zeentsapho zethu ezingaphezu kwama-43% abafazi banomdla wokudlwengula kwaye kwiimeko ezingaphezu kwe-13% zokubetha bathabatha ifom rhoqo. Emva kwalolu lwazi awukwazi ukusibuza ukuba kutheni indoda ibetha umfazi? Yintoni eyiphakamisela kulo msebenzi owoyikekayo kwaye ngaba ngokwenene imeko ebomini apho umfazi angakwazi, ukufanelwa ukubetha ngumntu?

Amava abonise ukuba iingxabano zivela kwiintsapho ezininzi, kodwa kungekhona bonke abatshatileyo abanokufumana ukulungelelanisa nokulungisa iingxaki ngoncedo lwamagama. Akunjalo wonke umntu unako ukunikela ubomi bakhe kwisiqingatha sesibini kunye nokufumana indlela yokuphuma kwimeko yangoku ngeendlela zokudibanisa.

Indoda ephakamisa isandla kuye ibhinqa ibonisa ngezenzo zakhe kuphela ukuba akanalo izixhobo ezinengqondo zokulungisa ingxabano ngoncedo lwenkcazo yokuqala yenkinga. Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba abasetyhini bayamangalela umyeni wokuzibetha ngokwabo, ukulungelelanisa yonke into yokuba xa umntu ephakamisa isandla sakhe, ngoko mna ndibeka ityala ngale nto. Abafazi abanjalo bathatha indima yowama, ngoko kubonakala kubo ukuba indoda abayithandayo kwaye bayayixabisa ngandlela-thile umntwana wabo nakwinqanaba leengqondo kukho umthwalo wemfanelo kuzo zonke izenzo zakhe.

Kutheni amadoda ebetha abafazi bawo?

Amadoda avame ukuchazela izenzo zabo ezingekho mthethweni kwinto yokuba babenesizathu esihle sokuphakamisa isandla sabo kwisini esibuthakathaka.

1. Isizathu esona siqhelo sobundlobongela basekhaya sinobukhwele. Ukungenakuncedo kwindoda kwimeko yokutshutshiswa okanye ukutshintsha okwenene kumfazi wayo, kumkhokelela ekuqhaqaleni, kwaye uzama ukuzomeleza ngenxa yokuhlaselwa. Uninzi lwazo zonke ngenxa yengcamango yokuba umfazi wakhe ufumene enye, oko kuthetha ukuba kukuziqhenkceza kwindoda ehluphekayo.
2. Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kotywala. Inyaniso kukuba ukuxhomekeka kotywala kunokuphazamisa umntu njengomntu kwaye kukhokelela ekuthotshweni kwamakhono engqondo kunye neempawu zokuziphatha. Kwimeko yobunxila obunxilisayo, umntu ususa umda wento evumelekileyo, kwaye uqala ukwenza "kwiimvakalelo."
3. Iziganeko ezibuhlungu ezenzeka ngaphambili. Amadoda avela kwiintsapho ezingasebenziyo ukususela ebuntwaneni, ebukela uyise ephakamisa isandla sakhe kunina, uyaqiniseka ngokupheleleyo ukuba ukuhlaselwa yindlela kuphela yokulungisa iingxabano. Iziganeko ezihlaselekileyo azikwazi ukuvela kuphela kubuntwaneni, kuba imbangela yamanqanaba aphezulu okubandezelayo ahlala kwiindawo zokunyanzelwa inkululeko, inkonzo yemikhosi "kwiindawo ezitshisa", njl njl.

Kutheni umntu othandekayo ebetha?

Izizathu zokubetha umfazi wakhe, indoda ingayifumana ikhulu, kodwa yanele ngokwaneleyo ukuyiqinisekisa okanye inzima ukuba iphoqe abantu bambalwa kakhulu ngaphantsi komkhosi. Kwiingcinga zabasetyhini bexesha lethu, ilizwi elithi "beats" lithetha "ukuthandwa", ngoko bahlala bethule malunga nezenzo zobundlobongela kwintsapho.

Indlela echanekileyo yokuphela kwimeko yokuqhawula umtshato. Ngokweengqondo zengqondo, abantu abanomdla wokuba ukuhlaselwa, ukwenza izenzo zobundlobongela ngokucacileyo, oko kuthetha ukuba akukho mfazi okhuseleka ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwimpilo emide. Musa ukukholelwa ezinjalo izizathu zokuthi "oku akusayi kuphinda kwenzeke kwakhona," "Andiyi kuphinda ndiyenze" ukuxolelwa, kulo mzekelo, kunokukhokelela ekubeni indoda, ukuziva ukuvumeleka, iya kuqhubeka isusa izandla zayo.

Ukuqhawula umtshato umntu onjalo ngumsebenzi wowesifazane ohloniphayo, ngenxa yokuzibetha ngokubetha, ubonisa ukuba uyomelele kwaye usapho lwakhe uxanduva, kwaye inqakrazo yobudlelwane obusondezayo akuyi kuthatha isikhundla esiphezulu kwintsapho.