"Ubulili emva komhla wokuqala luziphatha kakubi!" - abaninzi abafazi baya kuthetha. Kwaye abanye baya kubachasa, "ngoku lixesha elinye, kutheni ulinde, ikhefu alinakunqandwa nangoko." Yaye ngubani ochanekileyo? Melana nesilingo ngawo onke amandla akhe, ngenxa yokwesaba ukubonwa njengentombazana yokuziphatha okucwangcisiweyo? Okanye ngaba isondo ngosuku lokuqala - luqhelekile, ngakumbi ukuba ufuna ngokwenene?
Ukwabelana ngesondo ngomhla wokuqala? Kwaye kutheni?
Ngaba wayesazi ukuba uphando lwentlalo lwabesetyhini abangaphezu kwama-30 lubonise umnqweno wabafazi ukuba baqale kubaluleke kakhulu ngosuku lwabo lokuqala? I-78% yamantombazana athi ayiboni into engeyomntu ekupheleni kwesi ntla nganiso. Enyanisweni, isizukulwana esincinane asikhululekile, kwaye kuphela i-7% yamantombazana angaphantsi kweminyaka engama-30 athi akulungele ukulala ngokwesondo emva komhla wokuqala. Ewe, yonke into icacile kuthi, ukungaqiniseki kuyo nayiphi na into yinto yokuzonwabisa yokuzilalisa, kodwa abantu bacinga ntoni ngale nto?
Iimnandi, kodwa ezi ngqineko zengqiqo zinika iimpendulo ezithandekayo. Ngoko, abaselula bajonga ngokusondeleyo ukutshatyalaliswa njengomhlobo wokugqibela komhla wokuqala, nangona kunjalo, malunga nentombazana evumelana naloo nto, baya kuba namaqondo aphantsi. Abanye bacaphuke xa intombazana enqabe. Ngoko njani?
- Ngomhla wokuqala ofuna ukuwaqhelana nawo, qhelana kunye, kwaye ungangena kwi-bunk. Ukuba, ngokwenene, kukho umoya olwalamano olude. Emva koko, amaninzi amadoda afikeleleka kuma-women awanamdla. Bayakwazi, kwaye bacinga ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo, nje ngumfazi ozinikele ngokukhawuleza, unqabile ukubanomdla. Kukho umthetho: inqanaba lomdla lilingana ngqo nemigudu yamadoda, isetyenziswe ekunqobeni ubuhle.
- Kwaye ukuba umhla wawungowokuqala ngesondo, kutheni ukutsala? Sijonge omnye nomnye, sithandekile kwaye siphumelele, kwaye uluvo lwalo qabane lusebalulekanga - isimo sengqondo sobudlelwane obunzulu.
- Kukho nayiphi imigaqo kukho ngaphandle. Bobabini bangasetyenzwa ngokungathí sina, kodwa u-spark uye wehla, kwaye akukho mandla okumelana nawo. Abazange batshatile iminyaka emininzi. Okanye isi sibini sadibana ngesondo, sinye, kabini, sesithathu, kwaye saba nengqiqo ukuba inxalenye.
Ngoko, ukubuza umbuzo ngaluphi umhla okufanele ube ngowokuqala ngesini, akufanelekile. Kungcono ube nguwe kwaye wenze into enjalo.
Ngaba sivumela isondo ngomlomo nangasese ngosuku lokuqala?
Kwaye konke kuxhomekeka kuwe kunye nesimo sengqondo sakho kwezi ntlobano zesini. Amantombazana amaninzi akholelwa ukuba ubulili bokulala kunye nomlomo ngomhla wokuqala awukho indawo, ngelixa evamile kuvuma. Oku kubangelwa ukucinga ngalezo ntlobo zesini - banokuvunyelwa kuphela kumntu osondeleyo kwaye othandekayo, kungekhona owokuqala ukudibana. Kodwa ukuba ukhetha ukuzonwabisa, yintoni umehluko owenzayo ukuba uyifumana njani? Emva koko, naluphi na uhlobo lwesini lujoliswe kukufumana umonwabo, kwaye ukubandlulula ebhedini akuyona ndawo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba usasazisa ithemba lokuqhubeka ujwayelene, kuyafaneleka ukuba uqaphele - umntu unokubona ukuba ukuziphatha okunjengokuziphatha kakubi, kwaye oku akuyena nto umntu afuna kwiintombi zakhe.
Ngoku akukho malunga nokudlwengulwa, ukunyanzelisa kuyahluke. Okokuthi, imbono yindoda neyesetyhini yale nkqubo ihluke ngokupheleleyo. Ngokomzekelo, emva komhla wokuqala loo ndoda yamenyayo ukuba ndize kuye indebe yekofi. Ngokuqhelekileyo, inkqubo yokwenza ikhofi iphelile ngesondo. Kodwa intombazana yayinokulindela ukusela ikhofi, ingabi nokucinga ngokusondelana. Ewe, wamelana waza wazinikela xa eqonda ukuba kwakungeyona nto. Kule meko, intombazana iya kuthathwa ukuba isondo sanyanzeliswa, kanti loo mntu wayenokucinga ukuba "isepha-packed". Ngoko fundani ukuba ningathathi yonke into ngokwenene.