Ulwimi lomzimba ngumyalezo obhaliweyo malunga nendlela umntu azivakalelwa ngayo, kwimeko yintoni apho. Ukwazi iisiseko zezonxibelelwano ezingekho ngento kukunceda ukwazi kangcono ngokwakho, iqabane lakho kunye neengcali zeengqondo zidibanisa kumxhasi wakho, ezinceda ukwakha ithemba.
Kuthetha ukuthini ulwimi lomzimba?
Ulwimi lusetyenziswa kwengqondo, njengoko inzululwazi ibandakanya ukubaluleka kwesi sikhulu. Ngethuba lokudalwa kwemvelo yoluntu, ulwimi lomzimba lutshintsho ngokuxhomekeke kuma-ethnos, kodwa amaninzi amaninzi kunye nesimo sengqondo kubonakala kubantu bonke behlabathi. Liliphi igama lomzimba womzimba? Iingcali zengqondo zanikela igama kule ngxaki - ukuthetha okungabonakaliyo ngomlomo. Ulwimi lweelwimi kukudluliselwa kolwazi ngokungabonakali komlomo: izibonakaliso, ubuso, ubuso.
Ukwahlula phakathi kolwimi lomzimba kunye nolwimi lwesandi
Ulwimi olungabonakaliyo ulwimi oluthembekileyo nolululungekileyo, kunzima ukulufaka ngokuzeleyo, kwaye ukuba umntu olula onolwazi oluncinane akanako ukuphawula inkohliso, ukungabikho kwe-synchronism kuya kukhangela ingcali. Ukwahlula phakathi kwenkqubo yesayina engabonakaliyo kunye nomlomo:
- Ulwimi lomzimba kunye nokuthatha-mzimba kudala.
- Unxibelelwano lwamazwi lusebenzisa isandi, intetho, kunye nokuthetha okungabonakaliyo kwimiba ecebile kwaye iquka:
- ubuso;
- impawu;
- i-pantomime ;
- qha ga mshelana;
- ukukhala;
- ukulingana, isithintelo, uluhlu lwezwi (paralinguistics);
- ikhefu kwincoko, ukuhleka, ukukhala (extralinguistics).
Ulwimi lwezandla kunye nokuthinta-ingqondo
Ulwimi lwezandla kunye nezenzo ziyakwamkelwa ngabangcali beengqondo, iingcali ze-NLP zijolise kwingcaciso engeyomlomo evela kumntu "ufunde" umntu njengomakhadi. I-gypsy i-gnpsy hypnosis eyaziwayo kunye nezibikezelo ezimangalisayo zisekelwe ekubeni i-Gypsies iyinkosi yokufunda ulwimi lomzimba. Olu hlobo lolwazi luyimfuneko kuwo wonke umntu othanda ukuzazi yena nabanye, oku kunokukunceda ukuphepha iimpazamo, "ukukhanya" kwizinto ezininzi.
Imithetho yokuchazwa kolwimi lomzimba
Kuthetha ntoni ulwimi lomzimba? Ngezinto ezininzi, kodwa kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba ukutsala uhlobo oluthile lwe-pose, isenzo, ukulinganisa umxholo kumxholo oqhelekileyo akunako ukwenza ukucinga kwangempela, kuya kuba khona "malunga". Kukho imithetho yokufunda ulwimi lomzimba:
- Ubudala bomntu, ubugcisa, isikhundla sichaza iimpawu zabo kwiilwimi zomzimba - umntwana unomzimba omncinci, ufana nokubonakalisa ukubonakalisa, kumntu omdala, ukukhutshwa komzimba kuphuhliswa kakhulu.
- Ubukhulu becala okanye ukungabikho kwaso akuthethi ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuba umntu unomzwelo okanye unobungozi. Abantu abanezikolo eziphakamileyo abanesigama esikhulu asidingi ukunyusa ngokweqile, ukuzivakalisa, ukuze bakwazi ukubukeka bengenamdla entetho enotyebileyo, kodwa oku akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi.
- Ubunzima bokuthetha, ubuso buso, ukunyamekela, ukunyameka - ukungabi nento yokubonisa ukuvumelanisa kubonisa ukuba umntu, into efihliweyo, akafuni ukutyhila, ubuxoki.
Ulwimi lweelwimi - ukunyamezela
Unxibelelwano olungabonakaliyo ngomlomo lubonisa umntu olungcono kunokuba uphendule ngomlomo, ukuthetha nabanye, i-subconscious yethu inokukhawuleza ifumana idatha yomuntu siqu, kodwa oku akusoloko ihlolwe yintliziyo, kuba abantu abaninzi bayazi ukuvakalelwa xa kukho into enjengomntu onobuchule othetha naye, kodwa kukho into ekhohlakeleyo okanye engafanelekiyo kuyo yonke into ngenxa yokuba ingqondo engagqithisileyo yaqaphela oko ingqondo engayiboni. Ngokufunda ngokucacileyo izinto ezingabonakaliyo, umntu unokukwazi ukutolika ubuntu bomntu.
Injongo yesimo somntu kwindawo:
- intloko "inamathele" kwiintendelezo ezivulekileyo, iingqungquthela zisetafileni - ulwimi lomzimba lwentombazana efuna ukubonwa yindoda egumbini lifuna ukubukeka likhangeleke;
- ukuwela izandla kwisifuba "pretzel" - ukucima, ukungena, ukubonakaliswa kokungaqiniseki;
- ukuxhobisa - umntu okhuselekileyo;
- buyele kumnxibelelwano-ukungathandi ukuthetha;
- isandla senza i-chin-boredom, ukungabi nzala;
- intloko ithambekele kwi-interlocutor-inomdla wokwenene kwingxoxo.
Ulwimi lweelwimi - ubuso obuso
Indlela yokuqonda ulwimi lomzimba, ngamanye amaxesha kubalulekile ukuba ufumane ulwazi oluthembekileyo ngomntu, unokwenza oko ukuze kungabikho mntu unokungabaza ukunyaniseka kwesithethi, kodwa ungakulibali ukuba umzimba "uhlala" kwisigqi sawo kwaye ubonisa ngokucacileyo imeko yomntu. Yintoni ebonisa ubuso bomzimba:
- Amehlo avulekileyo, amacwe avule phezulu, kwaye iingcango zomlomo zivame ukuhla - umntu uyamangalisa;
- Amehlo amancinci, imilomo igxininiswe ngokugqithiseleyo - uphawu lomsindo;
- iliso elingapheliyo, iimbumba zihlanganisiwe, intloko iyancipha - ukudabuka, intlungu idla umntu;
- ukumomotheka kwelinye icala lomlomo - i-grin, ukungakholwa;
- ukumomotheka ngomlomo womntu ngaphandle kokubandakanyeka kwamehlo - ukungabi nantoni.
Ulwimi - ukunyakaza
Ulwimi lomzimba nomzimba unomdla kakhulu ukugcina kwizinto ezinamandla-kunokuthetha ezininzi ngezinto ezininzi. Izinto ezithetha ngolwimi lomzimba, ukuchazwa kwezinto ezihambayo:
- umdlalo ngezithupha, umnqweno wokubafakela ephaketheni lebhokisi okanye ibhantshi - ngokuqhelekileyo abantu besenza xa befuna ukubonisa ukuphakama kwabo, uphawu lolwabizo ngokwesini, ukuzikhukhumeza;
- ukuzichukumisa, ukuhlobisa - ukuxhalaba, ukungaqiniseki, ukuzama ukuzincama;
- ukukhangela kwiwashi, ifowuni, ukunyamezela, ukunyamezela, ukunyamezela, umnqweno wokuhamba;
- Ukuxubha kwamehlo kuthetha ukukhathala;
- ukubetha i-chin - ukugxila, ukucinga ngento ethile;
- emaphethelweni entendeni "ukusika" ukunyamezela - ukunyamezela, ukunyanzela.
Ulwimi lomzimba ngokudanisa
Ngomdaniso, njengokuba akukho naluphi ulwimi lomphefumlo nomzimba obonakalisa urhulumente. Ukususela kumaxesha amandulo, umdaniso uqulethwe ngokwawo ukuba wawunqatshelwe ukuba uthethe kwaye kwakunokwenzeka ukufakela umyalezo ngendlela yokuhamba komzimba. Ukubonakalisa ngokucacileyo ubuninzi beemvakalelo ezidumiweyo zaseIndiya, apho intombazana ibonisa iimvakalelo zakhe ngamawaka amancinci ngamazwi, izandla kunye nokuguqula intloko. Umdaniso uza kuxela kakhulu. Abameli beesigqibo esihle sabantu kunye namadoda nabo banomdla kumbuzo: indlela yokubona ulwimi lomzimba kumdaniso wombini kunye nokuqonda iqabane okanye iqabane?
Kukho "ukufihla" ulwimi lomzimba kumdaniso:
- ukuxhaphaza izandla, ukudonsa iminwe yakhe ngaphandle kwempawu - ukuba umlingani ubambe ngesandla sakhe ngokuqinile;
- isandla sisuswe kwixhoba lomlingane xa udibene naye osondeleyo, udinga indawo engakumbi, kubalulekile ukukhulula ukuvuma;
- umzimba weqabane lomlingane ukuba ulwele ukuvumelana okufutshane-umnqweno wokuba usondele;
- ingoma iphelile, kwaye umnxibelelwano uyaqhubeka - kufana nokuba kunye neqabane, ufuna ukudanisa.
Ulwimi nolwimi
Iincwadi malunga neelwimi zomzimba zibhalwa ngamagqirha asebenzayo kuphando lwezenzo zabantu, ingakumbi iingqondo zengqondo, iingqondo ze-psychotherapists ezijoliswe emzimbeni, i-NLP -ers - ziyingcali ekubonakalweni okungengabonakali komntu othi ulwimi lomzimba lunxulumene noluntu, iimvakalelo ngethuba, kwaye ezinye zibeka kwaye ukulinganisa kukubonakaliswa komlingiswa.
Umzekelo, umntu akahlali enganelisekanga ngento ethile, ehlala ecasulayo, ukubonakaliswa kwesibonakaliso sakhe ebusweni kuyo: ukunciphisa iinki, kwanokuba ubunzima ebunzini, ukukhangela kwamacembe emilomo, ubuso obunjengobumba obuqhoqelekileyo - ngoko umgca ubhalwe ebusweni. Kuboniswe ukuhamba: amahlombe ayancipha, abuyele. Umntu ovuya - ubuso bakhe buvulekile: ukunyamezela okunyanisekileyo, kungabonakali "ukusuka endlebeni ukuya endlebeni," kodwa ukuzama ukufikelela kumacangca amehlo. Amagxa avulekileyo, umqolo uphendukile, ubukeka bubele kwaye kunye neyesameko.
Ulwimi lomzimba
Umfanekiso oqhelekileyo weelwimi ezingengomlomo zintombi kunye nabasetyhini, ezibonakalisa kwiimeko ezixinzelelekileyo, yonke into iphela apha. Ulwimi oluthile lomzimba wesibhakabhaka luba, xa isondo esifanelekileyo kwintsimi yembono ifika kumntu okhangayo kuye kwaye ngoko ulwimi lomzimba luquka ukudalulwa kobulili besini . Indlela ebonakala ngayo:
- Ukuziphatha kuya kuba ngumntu oqhelanayo okanye obenomdla (kungekho rhoqo);
- Ngethuba lexesha elidityanisiweyo lugubha umlenze wakhe;
- ukuphosa umlenze ukuya kwisigxina sesigxina;
- uphupha amehlo;
- jolise i-languid, amehlo akhanye, abafundi bahlutha;
- udlala indlebe kwindlebe, isanti emlenzeni wakhe;
- uthinta iinwele, uphephe umgca ngomnwe;
- chu kumisa ngengozi;
- idibanisa iindawo zomzimba (uphakamisa umkhono, umgca wengubo);
- uhlala ehlamba umlomo wakhe, ubheka kwisibuko.
Indlela yokufunda ulwimi lomzimba?
Ukuqwalasela ngumsebenzi wemihla ngemihla oya kunceda ukubona indlela umntu, ngaphandle kwamagama, ezikhundla ngokwakhe. Ngaphandle kokuqwalasela ngokungathandabuzekiyo, unokubona ukuba ulwimi lwentombi lomzimba kunye nokuthinteka kwendlela ehlukileyo kwindoda. Yintoni enye ebalulekileyo? Ngaphandle kokwazi, ulwimi lomzimba wakho, kunzima ukufunda ukutolika abanye - konke kuqala ngokuzifumanisa. Kwixesha elizayo, xa uthetha nabanye abantu, kuyafaneleka ukugxila ekubonakalweni komntu okungabonakaliyo: ukuma kwindawo, ukumomotheka, isenzo.
Ulwimi lweelwimi - iincwadi
Kwabo banomdla kakhulu ukuba umntu uzibonakalisa njani ngokunyakaza komzimba, ukubonakalisa ubuso kunye nesenzo, umntu unokufundela iincwadi ezifanelekileyo kwaye aqale ukubeka iliso ngokukhawuleza abantu. Ulwimi lwezandla kunye nempawu-yezesengqondweni, iincwadi ezicetyiswayo zokufunda:
- " Ulwimi lweelwimi ". I-ABC yokuziphatha kwabantu J. Fast. Le ncwadi inomdla wokwazi ngokwabo, ungayilandela indlela umzimba uphendulela ngayo kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo, yabona "izigubhu" zayo, umbhali uletha ukungafani kwimibutho yabantu abahlukeneyo, eya kuba luncedo kulabo abathanda ukuhamba kwamanye amazwe.
- " Ndiyabona oko ucinga ngako. " D. Navarro. Umbhali wencwadi unomlando omude womsebenzi kwi-FBI kwaye uyazi malunga nayo yonke into malunga nokuziphatha kwabantu. Ingqwalasela eninzi ihlawulwa ngendlela yokuqonda ubuxoki ngokungabonxibelelana ngomlomo.
- " Ulwimi lwezandla. Indlela yokufunda iingcamango ngaphandle kwamagama. 49 imithetho elula "O. Sergeeva. Kwiimeko ezahlukileyo, umntu uzityhilela kwii-angles ezahlukeneyo, kwaye umzimba wakhe uthetha ngokucacileyo malunga nomnini wayo ngoku. Amazwi abizwayo ayingama-20%, isicu se-iceberg, kunye nesenzo kunye nokunyuka kwama-80%-kubo yonke inyaniso.
- Ulwimi lweelwimi kubaphathi "G.K. Kinsey. Kulabo bafuna ukuzithemba ngokwabo kunye nokunyusa ukuzithemba kwiindawo ezikuzo, indlela yokuziphatha ngendlebe nodliwano-ndlebe, kwinkampani, ukubona abanye uhlobo lwabantu, yile ncwadi enokuthengiswa kakhulu.
- "Ulwimi olutsha lwempawu ." Uhlobo olwandisiweyo A. Pease, B. Pease. Ababhali beencwadi, abaphathi bezengqondo ezidumileyo abaneminyaka engama-20 ubudala baye bafunda abantu abaninzi kwiimeko ezahluke kakhulu, ngoko ke ulwimi loluntu luye lwaba liyimfihlakalo.