Akuyiyo imfihlo kunoma ubani nawuphi na ulwalamano olwakhiwe kwithemba. Kodwa akusiyo yonke into ebomini ihlangabezana neemfuno zethu, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo nabantu abasondeleyo ngezenzo zabo babonakalisa ubudlelwane obuthembayo. Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba ngubani na kwaye kutheni engazange aphile ngokulindelayo, kuhlale kunzima ukudibanisa nokukhohlisa, kwaye kubonakala ngathi akunakwenzeka ukubuyisela ubudlelwane bokuqala.
Indlela yokubuyisela ukuthembela kubuhlobo? Kuthekani ukuba ukungabikho kokholo kunye nesimo sengqondo esichengelayo kusongela ukutshabalalisa ulonwabo? Indlela yokufumana ukuthembeka? Kungekudala okanye kamva, ebomini bomntu ngamnye, le mibuzo iphakame, kwaye ukuze sifumane impendulo, kufuneka siqonde ukuba yintoni intsingiselo yobudlelwane obuthembayo kunye nendlela ukuthembela ngayo.
Ngoko, ubudlelwane bakhelwe phezu kokuthembana, kodwa ukuze ulwalamano luthembele kwiqabane, kubalulekile ukugcina le mithetho elula:
1. Ukuphuhlisa umgangatho wokuthembeka
Ukuba umntu akaqinisekanga ngokuthembeka kwabo, abanye abayi kuba nethemba kuye. Akuyimfuneko ukuthatha uxanduva olungenangqiqo okanye ukunika izithembiso ezingenanto. Ukuba umntu uthembele emazwini akhe kwaye uyazi ukuba wenze isithembiso, uya kwenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukufezekisa, ngoko ke le ntembelo iya kuvezwa ngabanye.
2. Gwema inkohliso encinane
Ukuthembela ekuthembekeni komntu kubunjwa ngenxa yezenzo zakhe, ukuqinisekisa ukunyaniseka kwakhe. Kodwa ukuba umntu akafanelekanga ukuthembela kwimibandela emincinci, ngoko-ke kwimicimbi enzulu kakhulu akayikukhuthaza ukuzithemba.
3. Musa ukuzama ukufakazela ukuthembeka kwakho ngamazwi
Ngesinye isikhathi, abanye bangakholelwa loo mazwi, kodwa le ngcamango yokuthembela iya kushabalala ngokukhawuleza. Izenzo kuphela ezinokubonisa okanye ukuphika ukuthembeka komntu.
4. Ukungabi nethemba kunye nolwalamano oluxakekayo luhlala luba nezizathu ezifunekayo ukuba zichongwe
Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu bafumana ithuba eliphambili leprojekthi elidlulileyo kwixesha langoku. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba kwelinye iqabane elidlulileyo lalingabakhohlisi, ngoko ulwalamano olulandelayo uya kuba nomona aze asolise isigxina sakhe. Kwaye esikhundleni sokumangalelana ngokungathembani, kuyafaneleka ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo, ukufumanisa oko kubangele ukuba kubambisane nemibandela eyadlulileyo kunye kunye nokufumana indlela yokubuyisela ukuthembela kubuhlobo.
5. Akuyimfuneko ukufuna isimo sengqondo esiyimfihlo kuwe kwaye ungathembeli kwabanye
Bonke abantu baneemigaqo yabo yobomi, kwaye wonke umntu unemibono yakhe ngokungcatsha nokungcatsha. Ngako oko, ukuthembela okulungileyo kunokuvela kubantu abaneemigaqo nemibono efanayo yokuphila, okanye kwabo bavakalise ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukunyaniseka kwabo. Ngelixa iqabane lingaqiniseki ukuba isiqingatha sokwabelana ngeembono kunye neenkolelo zakhe, uya kuba neengxaki.6. Musa ukuvelisa izimvo zakho kwizenzo zeqabane
Ukuba iqabane lenze iphutha, ungacingi ngesenzo sakhe ngokwemivo yabo. Okokuqala, kufuneka uphulaphule iqabane kwaye ufumane izizathu zenzeke. Ingxoxo enyanisekileyo kuphela iya kunceda ukuqonda iinjongo zesenzo ngasinye kunye nokuphepha izenzo ezinjalo kwixesha elizayo.
7. Unxibelelwano lufanele luthembeke kwaye lujolise ekuphuculeni imeko
Ukuba amaqabane anethemba lokuba bangabelana nabanye ngamava abo, ngoko kwiinkalo ezinjalo ukuzithemba kuya kwomelela yonke imihla. Kodwa ukuba, emva kokuxelela iingxaki zabo, iqabane liva ukugxeka kunye nokumangalelwa, ngoko ngokuza kuzama ukulungisa zonke iingxaki. Kwaye, ngokukhawuleza, ukuthembela kunokunyamalala.
Ezi ngcebiso ezilula ziya kunceda uzive uthando phakathi komnye nomnye, kodwa njani ukubuyisela ithemba kwibudlelwane ukuba omnye wababambisene naye wenze intlondi? Ngaphandle kokuthembiseka, isimo sengqondo esicangcazelayo singabonakalisa nakwezinye izihlwele ezingabalulekanga, eziya kutyhafa ubomi ndawonye imini ngemihla. Iingcali zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba uncedo lokuqala kwiimeko ezinjalo ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo. Kodwa ukuba ingxoxo ayiguquli kwimpikiswano kunye kunye, kufuneka wonke umntu alungiselele ingxoxo. Umenzi wobugwenxa kufuneka ahlaziye oko kubangele izenzo zakhe, kwaye zeziphi izigqibo azenzileyo kwimeko yangoku. Isiqingatha esicatshulwayo kufuneka sicacise ngezizathu zento eyenzekayo, kunye nokuqwalasela ukuba yeyiphi into eyenza iqabane liza kubuyisa ukuzithemba kulwalamano.
Bonke ubudlelwane bomntu ngabanye, kuphela ngoxa uncedo lwabazalwana abathandanayo nabathengileyo banokufumana indlela yokubuyisela ukuthembela kubuhlobo. Oku kungabi lula. Kodwa ngomnqweno wobudlelwane bokugcina ubudlelwane obusebenzayo kule ndlela yonke imihla, ukuhlonipha iimvakalelo kunye neminqweno yomnye nomnye, iinqalo ziyakwazi ukunqoba umzuzu obalulekileyo, kwaye ngexesha lokukhumbula oko kwenzeka kuphela njengesifundo esibalulekileyo esibafundisayo ukuthanda nokuxabana ngakumbi.