Ukuba iimvakalelo zothando zenzeka okokuqala ngqa, ingcamango "kubonakala ngathi ndithandana" isishukumisela ukuba sibe nexhala. Kwaye kulungile, ukuba ndithandana nomntu ongaqhelekanga, kodwa kuthekani ukuba ndithandana nomfana endingacinga ukuba ngumhlobo wam osenyongweni okanye umntu otshatileyo? Makhe sijonge ezi ngxaki kunye kunye nokufumana indlela yokuphuma kuzo.
Kuthekani ukuba ndithandana nomhlobo?
Uthandane nomhlobo, ngoko, yintoni ubunzima? Ukwabelana nomhlobo wamava ahlukeneyo, yabelana nesabelo. Ewe, kukho ukwesaba ukuba akayi kubuyiselwa, ukuba ezi ndaba ziza kumnquba. Kodwa ukuba umntu uyithandeka kuwe, kungcono ukuba ungathethi kunye naye, kunye kunye uya kucinga ukuba wenze ntoni ngoluvo olukhawuleza. Okanye mhlawumbi iimvakalelo zakho ziya kubambisana, khumbula ukuba zingaphi izibini ezitshatileyo zitshatileyo zitsho ngesigqibo sabo sokutshata ngale ndlela: "besibe ngabahlobo abakhulu". Ngoko musa ukutsala ngokuvuma kwakho, ekuqaleni uhlalutye ubuhlobo bakho, bhetele. Imvakalelo efihlakeleyo iya kukulinganisa.
Kuthekani ukuba ndithandana nomlingane otshatileyo?
Ulwalamano lobudlelwane kunye nabalingane nabo emsebenzini kwaye sele behambisa iingxaki ezininzi eluthandweni - oku kukuhlekisa kwiqela, kwaye ukungavunyelwa kwabasemagunyeni. Kwaye ukuba umntu osebenza naye, okhethiweyo lwakho, uye apha nangona uvela emsebenzini uyeka, ewe kwenye indawo. Kodwa akusiyo yonke into enzima kangaka, kule meko kukho indlela yokuphuma. Okokuqala, kufuneka uziqonde kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokuba uvumelekile ukuba ube nolwalamano nomntu otshatileyo. Ukuba impendulo yakho ichazwe ngokuthi "hayi", kufuneka ujamelane nale ntliziyo. Zama ukungaboni kuphela isidima somntu osebenza naye, kodwa kunye nokungonakali. Ngokukhawuleza xa uphumelela, uthando luya kuqala ukuyeka izikhundla zabo. Kulungile kodwa, emsebenzini, hlawulela ngakumbi umsebenzi wakho, kwaye ungabi ngabahlobo obumnandi - kwaye uziphilise ukuwa ngothando, wenze umsebenzi.
Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba ukuqala ukutshata nomntu otshatileyo akukuhle kakhulu kwaye uvumela ithuba elifanelekileyo kuphela kwiimeko ezigqithiseleyo, ukuvavanya imeko yangoku, mhlawumbi le yimeko enzima. Zama ukufunda okungakumbi malunga nolwalamano lomnye nomfazi wakhe, ngaba kunokukholisa intsapho enonwabileyo kwaye ayivumba. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umtshato awukho nje isivumelwano sokubambisana, kunye nokukhuliswa kwabantwana, iimvakalelo azihambi khona. Kwizo ntsapho, abatshatileyo banomdla, kwaye abanelisekanga ngokubonakala kwezi zihlazo.
Enye into, ukuba awuboni nantoni na into ehlazisayo ngayo ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo, kwaye unyanisekileyo kwaye uyinyamekela ukuba uyonwabile nomfazi okanye cha. Emva koko umendo onakho ukhululekile, uzame, uzenzele ngokwakho uze ukhangele indlela uthando luyeka ngayo. Yenza nje ukuzama ukwenza ezi ndlela zichanekileyo, ungaphazamisi imilinganiselo yakho yokuziphatha, kodwa akudingeki ukuba udibane nomfazi wakhe kunye neentlanzi zakhe.
Kuthekani ukuba nditshatile kwaye ndithandana?
Akukhathazeki ukuba ngubani na umfazi owamthanda ngayo, umhlobo omhle, umphathi okanye umyeni wakhe udadewabo. Ngaphambili kukhona enye imeko - yona ngokwayo ayikho inkululeko. Ukuba unenkathazo enjalo, zama ukuzincama uze ukhangele imeko leyo. Ziphendule le mibuzo elandelayo:
- Uziva njani ngomyeni wakho?
- Uyakuphatha njani?
- Ngaba ufuna ukugcina intsapho okanye ukulungelelanisa yonke into ngenxa yokuzilibazisa, ezinokuthi zingaphaya?
Ukuba uphendule le mibuzo, unqume ukuba umyeni wakho kunye nosapho kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe, ukuthanda omnye umntu kuya kupheliswa yindlela zonke ezikhoyo. Enyanisweni, kutheni ufuna iimvalelo ezingathandabuzekiyo, ukuba umyeni wakho uyakuthanda, kwaye uthando lwakho ngaye aluzange luphele, ukhumbula nje ngento encinane, enomnye umntu.
Ukuba uvuma inveli "kwicala", cinga izihlandlo ezili-10 uze uqiniseke ukuba wenza amakhono - uya kuxoka kumyeni wakho nabantwana (ukuba kukho) kunye nabahlobo bakho.