Ingxaki yobudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo indala njengesikhungo somtshato. Ngelishwa, iimvakalelo azikwazi ukunyanzeliswa ukuba zikhethe into efanelekileyo yokudumisa, ngoko ke, ukulahla ukunyaniseka nokuvala amehlo akho kwimilinganiselo yokuziphatha neyokuziphatha yenkinga, masiqonde iziganeko zengqondo zobudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo.
Iengqondo zentsebenziswano nendoda esatshatileyo
Amantombazana amancinci abanobudlelwane kunye "neengqungquthela" abakhethiweyo, bahlala beqinisekisa bona, uthi, akanakukhathazeka kwintsapho, umfazi we-bitch, kwaye kunye nam kuphela ufumana ubushushu obufanelwe. Ngokwengxenye, lo mbono uchanekile: ngokwenene, abaninzi abantu abayi kutshintsha isiqingatha sabo sesibini ukuba bonke okanye phantse bonke (emva koko, akukho buhlobo obuhle) ngokufanelekileyo kwintsapho. Nangona kunjalo, kukho iifomim e zifana ngqo nelizwi elithi "zingaphi iindlovu ezingondli ...". Ngamanye amagama, kungakhathaliseki ukuba umfazi wakhe unjani, kwaye imeko yentsapho efanelekileyo, ubomi bemihla ngemihla, kunye nombhede, akayikwazi "ukuhamba ngapha nangapha" nangayiphi na indlela. Zininzi iintlobo zalabasetyhini ababelethwayo:
- Thayipha enye "isithembu" . Amadoda anjalo akakwazi ukufumana yonke ingqalelo kunye nokufudumala abayidingayo kubuhlobo kunye nomfazi omnye. Ngokuqhelekileyo babekhuliswe kunye nonina nomama, kwaye abaqhelekanga ukukhetha phakathi kwabafazi ababini. Ngendlela, ngokuqhelekileyo umfazi kunye nenkosikazi yendoda enxulumene neengqondo zengqondo zikagogo nomama. Ngaloo ndlela, uyaphinda abuyele imeko eqhelekileyo kuye ukususela ebuntwaneni.
- Uhlobo lwesibini "umqokeleli" . Kwindoda enjalo, umfazi ngamnye oqhelekileyo ngumdlalo osemthethweni. Akakwazi nje ukuyeka, kulo mkhuphiswano ongunaphakade ukuqinisekisa ubungqina bakhe. Nangona wakwazi ukubeka ingqungquthela, umfazi wakhe, kulungele ukudibanisa nengcamango yokuba akayi kuhlala yedwa umfazi ebomini bakhe (nokuba enye yeebini, i-akhawunti ngokuqhelekileyo iya kwiindawo ezininzi). Ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo akunakude, kuba abasiyo injongo yakhe, kwaye uqala ukunyanzeliswa ngabo.
- Thayipha ezintathu - "imidlalo ethandwayo yothando" - uhlobo olunjengehlobo lwangaphambili, kodwa injongo yalo ayinalo intsindiso yothando. Uyakuthanda i-cocktail ye-endorphins kunye ne-adrenaline ephazamisayo egazini lakhe ekuqaleni kwendibano entsha. Ngokuqhelekileyo ufumana ubudlelwane obuncinane ngexesha elifanayo, ngoko kwakumnandi. Ngokukhawuleza unikezelwa kubhalisi, kodwa "uhlala ixesha elide kwaye ujabule" naye, naye, akayi kusebenza. Unxulumano olukhawulezayo lweentsapho, kumntu onjalo, liba ngamashanga.
Njengoko kucacile ukusuka kuluhlu, ubudlelwane kunye namadoda omama osisigxina bavame ukulahlwa kwikamva. Ekubeni "isithembu" akunakwenzeka ukuba ushiye intsapho yakhe, unelisekile ngimeko apho unomfazi kunye nenkosikazi. "Umqokeleli" kunye "ngokugqithiseleyo" ukuba bakha intsha intsapho, oko akuyi kuyeka. Ngendlela, amadoda athile abashadile baninzi abaqala ubudlelane nomfazi kwicala.
Indlela yokunqumla ulwalamano nomntu otshatileyo?
Ngokuqhelekileyo, indlela eyamkelekileyo kuphela yokuba umfazi aphule ubuhlobo kunye nomntu otshatileyo. Okokuqala, ukuthatha inxantathu yothando, kuthatha ixesha, ngenxa yokuba ithuba lokudala intsapho apha lincinci. Okwesibini, umona, naye, akukho mntu ukhansekile.
Ngoko ke, ukuba usenqume ukuphula kunye nomlingani wakho otshatileyo, zibuze umbuzo othi "Ufumana ntoni kulobu budlelwane?", Akunakuhle kuphela, kodwa kubi. Ukunyaniseka nawe. Ukuba imiphumo emibi yobudlelwane bobubele kunye nomntu otshatileyo, isaphuma ngaphezu kwezinto ezincedisayo, ukunciphisa, okanye ukuphazamisa ngokupheleleyo iintlanganiso zakho. Khangela umntu oyixabisa ngokwenene. Umntu onjalo uya kufumaneka.