Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho iimeko ezenza ukuba amantombazana abe neentloni. Iintlanganiso, iingxoxo, ubudlelwane ngamanye amaxesha ziphazamiseka ngokuzumayo ngokuzama rhoqo kwesiqingatha sesibini ukufihla nokuhamba. Sifanele senze njani ukuba umntu uyakuthanda kwaye uyaziphepha? Ngaba uyayithanda ukuba uyayigwema?
Kutheni umntu ephepha ukuthetha?
Ukugwema ukunxibelelana, umntu unako ngezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo, kuxhomekeke kwiimeko kunye nexesha lokumazana kwakho. Ngoko, makhe sicinge ngezona zizathu ezibangela ukuba umntu aphephe ukudibana nomfazi:
- Uceba isondo esinye sexesha elilodwa, unomlingane osemthethweni okanye intombi, kwaye ubhekene naso, njani ukungeniswa kwakho kwempahla kungeyinto engathintela ubomi bakhe obulinganiselweyo.
- Uyakrokrela ukungathembeki kwaye uhambe ukuqhuba uphando lwakhe.
- Utshintshile kwaye uziva enetyala (kwiimeko ezinjalo, umntu uvame ukugwema ukukhangela amehlo).
- Uthatha umhlala-phantsi emva kokuxabana okukhulu kwaye akafuni ukuqala ukuhlaziya kwakhona.
- Ufuna ukucaca ukuba uluntu lwakho alusayi kumthanda.
- Unenkinga emsebenzini okanye kwezinye iindawo zobomi, uvalelwe kuye.
- Wafunda ngawe into engathandekiyo, kwaye ufuna ukuphinda ucinge ngolu hlobo.
- Uxinzeleleke kwaye ugweme ukunxibelelana nabani na, kwaye kungekhona nje kunye nawe.
- Wadibana nomnye, kwaye uthathwa ngokuthintana naye, kwaye uhlala kude.
- Ugula kakhulu kwaye akafuni ukuphazamiseka.
Njengoko uqonda, kukho izizathu ezininzi. Kwaye ukuba indoda ethandwayo igweba umfazi, kuyinto engaqhelekanga, kuba inothando ngokwenene umntu uhlala efuna ukunxibelelana.
Kuthekani ukuba loo ndoda igwema?
Ukuba ujwayelene nendoda ixesha elifutshane, kunokwenzeka ukuba ngale ndlela ufuna ukungafuni ukunxibelelana nawe. Hhayi wonke umntu unentliziyo yokuza athi ngqo: "Uxolo, asikwazi ukuhlangana kwakhona." Kwiimeko ezinjalo, abantu ababuthathaka abaphenduli iifowuni, babalekele iintlanganiso, kwaye bachaze ngokuchanekileyo ukuba abanomdla kwintetho. Kule meko, akukho nto yokwenzayo ayimfuneko, mkhulule umntu kwaye uziqhubele phambili.
Ukuba ulwalamano ixesha elide, kwaye ungaboni izizathu zokuziphatha okunjalo, ngoko unakho ukhetho, ngaphandle kweyodwa: ukumba iingxabano uze uthethe nendoda. Mjongeni ngeveki ezimbalwa, ukuba kunokwenzeka, ukuphawula ubungqina bokuziphatha kwakhe okungaqhelekanga kwimiyalezo yeSMS, njl njl. Xa uqokelela amaqondo anele, hlalutya kwaye uqinisekise ukuba oku akuyiyo into yakho, kodwa imeko yangempela yezinto, kukufanelekile ukuthetha nendoda.
Incoko ingcono ukwakha kule sikimu:
- Fumana ukuba unengxaki emsebenzini, ufunda, kunye nezihlobo, imoto, njl. Mhlawumbi ulungile kwaye uvalelwe kuye.
- Ukuba kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bakhe umyalelo uqediwe, cela isizathu sokuba iintlanganiso zakho zibe ziqheleke, kwaye ingaba le nto iphoso lakho. Umntu obuthathaka uya kuqala ukukhanyela, kodwa apha ungakuzisa ubungqina bakho, owalungiselela kwangaphambili.
- Buza ukuba ungathanda ukuthatha ixesha kwaye uphumule ebuhlotsheni bakho, ukuba ungaboni enye iveki okanye ezimbini? Ngamanye amaxesha kuyimfuneko ukuba umntu aqale ukuxabisa umphefumlo wakhe.
Njengomphumo wencoko enjalo, kuyafaneleka ukufumanisa izizathu kwaye ubuze indlela onokumnceda ngayo ekusebenzelaneni nabo, kuba ukuziphatha kwakhe kuyonakalisa ubuhlobo bakho.
Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ukuphepha kukusoloko kuyimpawu ephazamisayo. Umntu onothando ufuna ukuchitha ixesha lakhe elininzi kunye nentanda yakhe, kwaye ukuba oku akusebenzi kumtshato wakho, mhlawumbi iimvakalelo azifani. Musa ukulahla izandla phambi kwexesha, fumana yonke into ongayenza kwaye wenze isigqibo malunga nalokhu.