Ngokuphathelele ubuhlobo besetyana ixesha elide kukho iingcamango, amahlaya, kunye namaxwebhu esayensi. Ubukho balo babonakaliswa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwaye baphikiswa. Kukho ubuhlobo besetyhini - kunzima kakhulu ukuthetha ngokungathandabuzekiyo, kodwa siya kuzama ukuthetha inyaniso, ngokulinganisa zonke iingxaki kunye neengxaki.
Inyaniso yokuba yonke intombazana evela ebuntwaneni ifuna ukufumana intombi, inokuchazwa lula. Oku kwenzeke ngokomlando, ngenxa yezizathu ezingaphaya kokulawula kwethu. Ukususela kwisizukulwana ukuya kwisizukulwana, ulwazi ludluliselwa kumama ukuya kwintombi ukuba abafazi bafana kakhulu kunye nokuba kulula ukuba bafumane ulwimi olufanayo. Uyakhumbula ukuba ubani owadlala naye ebuntwaneni bakho kwiidodoli, kwiintombi zikamama? ngubani ohlala phantsi kwiipate ezakhelene naye kwi-kindergarten? nabo babelana nabo ngamava okuqala okuthandana? Ewe, kunjalo, kunye nabahlobo! Ngubani, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ungumhlobo, uya kuphulaphula ukukhala kwakho kwifowuni, unike icebiso aze azisole. Yintoni endingayithethayo, ibhinqa liqonda ibhinqa elinesiqingatha-magama, elingenakutsholwa ngabantu. Kunzima kakhulu ukuba baqonde into ebizwa ngokuthi "ingcamango yowesifazane". Isizathu kukuba amabhinqa namadoda ahlukaniswe ukususela kwiminyaka yobudala. Njengoko bethetha, "amakhwenkwe - ngakwesokudla, amantombazana - ngakwesobunxele". Kwaye kunjalo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ubukho bobuhlobo besetyhini akuyona inyaniso eyona nto. Abo bacinezela ukuba akukho buhlobo bentombi, nabo banabo ubungqina babo. Kwaye obu bungqina bubungqina. Bathi ubuhlobo besifazana bukhona kude kube yindoda ebonakala endleleni yakhe. Ewe, abahlobo-intombi zikhula, zibeke iidonki eceleni kwaye ... ziwe ngothando. Oku kungokwemvelo (nangenakugwema) kwaye ubuhlobo abubonakali bulimaza. Kodwa ukuba into yokunyanzela amabhinqa amabini iba ngumntu ofanayo, kufuneka ukhethe. Emva koko ubuhlobo bamantombazana bubuzwa. Wonke umntu ufuna ukuba ngowokuqala kwaye rhoqo uhlala yedwa, kwaye ukuyeka intshatsheli kuthetha ukulahleka, yingakho singathandi amantombazana kakhulu.
Ubungqina bokuba ubuhlobo bentombi abukho bubonakaliswa yinkxalabo yokulwa, okuqhutyelwa kakhulu phakathi kwezesondo ezibuthathaka. Ubuhlobo phakathi kwabasetyhini buyakhiwa kungekhona nje kuphela kuvelwano, kodwa nangenxa yokufumana inzuzo, eyona nto idla ngokubanzi ngaphambili. Awunakucinga ukuba umhlobo wakho omhle usebenzisa wena. Ngokomzekelo, ngelixa uncedisa ekukhuleni kwamakhondo, sebenza njengomgca onyanisekileyo wezinyembezi kunye nezikhalazo, ubungqina abuyisongelo. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza ukuba injongo yentlungu yakho - intombi ifikeleleke, uya kuba mnandi kuye. Ungakhohlwa ukuba ibhinqa ifana nekati - ikhetha ukuhamba yedwa.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ubungqina bokuba ubuhlobo besifazane abuyiyo inkolelo buqinisekisa ubungqina babo kumhlobo wesilisa. Abafazi kunye namadoda athetha ulwimi ezahlukeneyo. Iyokuqala-imvakalelo, kunye neyesibini, inengqiqo, inzulu. Oku kuvame ukubavimbela ekufumaneni ulwimi oluqhelekileyo. Kwaye, njengoko kuchazwe ngasentla, ibhinqa liya kuqonda umfazi ongenamagama.
Indlela yokugcina ubuhlobo nomhlobo?
Kukho imizekelo yobuhlobo besetyhini, xa abahlobo bengenanto into abayifunayo, ngaphandle koxolelwano olufudumeleyo, ukuqonda kunye novelwano. Kodwa ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kuwe, musa ukuphelelwa lithemba kwaye ukhanye ngokukhawuleza ubukho bobuhlobo ngokubanzi. Okokuqala, kufuneka uhlalutye imeko yangoku kwaye ucinge ngenyameko malunga nendlela yokugcina ubuhlobo kunye nentombi yakho, kuba ixesha lilahlekile. Mhlawumbi uphosakele ngokungathembeki kwakhe.
Makhe sibone oko kubangelwa kukuxabana kwabahlobo, kwaye ziziphi iindlela zokuxolelana?
- Ukuba uqale uqaphele ukuba umhlobo ukhubekile ngento kwaye uyakugwema, ngokokuqala oko kufuneka ucinge ngokuziphatha kwakho. Ngamanye amaxesha elinye ilizwi elingenakuphumelela liyakucasula umntu. Ukuba ukhumbule oko bekubangele ukuxabana, khawuleza uthethe kunye nentombi yakho, umcele ukuba athethelelwe. Uya kuqonda kwaye akuxolele, kodwa mhlawumbi uya kufuna ixesha elithile.
- Isizathu sokuba ingxabano ibe yindoda. Ngaba "ubambe" intombazana kunye nenkwenkwe yakho? Musa ukuthuthumela, ngokukhawuleza udibane nabo ubudlelwane. Kungenzeka ukuba badibana ukuze baxoxe ngokuzalwa kwakho okuzayo, ukubonisana ne-akhawunti yesipho okanye ukulungiselela ukumangaliswa. Kwaye sele u-napridumvali uThixo uyazi ukuba yintoni. Ukuze siqonde le meko, kufuneka sikhulume intliziyo entliziyweni, sikhulume ngokusobala zethu iinkoliso, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo yonke into iya kuwela.
- Ukuba wena (okanye intombi yakho) ayizange igcine ilizwi kwaye yenzeke ngengozi kumntu othile imfihlelo yomhlobo, ukwazi ukuba ungaphi kuphela,
Musa ukuyifihla okanye ukuphelisa ubuhlobo. Kufuneka uvume ukuba wenze into engalunganga, uze ucele ukuxolelwa. Mthembisa ngokuqinisekileyo umhlobo wakho ukuba oku akuyi kuphinda kwenzeke, mxelele ukuba uxabisa kakhulu ubuhlobo bakho. La mazwi ahlala ekulungele ukuva. Ukuba ubuhlobo bakho bunamandla kwaye buyinyani, ke yonke into iya kulungiswa.
Ngokuqhelekileyo imbangela yeengxabano phakathi kwabahlobo yinto encinane, engafanelekanga ingqalelo kuyo yonke into. Into ephambili kukuthintela ukungavumelani okuvela ekukhuleni. Ungesabi ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala ekuxolelaneni, kwaye ngokukhawuleza uya kudlula ngobuhlobo bokwenene, ungayiqondi ngenxa yeengcamango kunye nezinye izimvo zabantu.