Isihloko esicatshulwa ngeengxoxo zabasetyhini, ingxaki eyayikuyo, kwaye iya kuba yinto enxulumene nayo njengoko sikhona. Ukudibana, uMninimona wobukhwele kunye nezifundo zakhe ezithembekileyo - ukuxhalaba, ukuphelelwa yithemba kunye nokuphazamiseka kweentlungu.
Kutheni sifuna umona kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba sikhuphe inhlekelele kwaye ngamanye amaxesha nokuba nomona ongenasiphelo, ukuze sikhusele thina nempilo yethu-oku kufuneka siyiqonde.
Uthando, ukuzingca okanye ukungaqiniseki?
Musa ukukhawuleza ukulahla le ntlungu ebuhlungu kunye nebuhlungu. Ngaphambi kokuba uyeke umona ngomntu, kufuneka uqonde izizathu zobona. Uvakalelwa kukuba umona ungumphumo wokuphela kwesenzo esithile. Siza kulwa nelokugqibela.
Intshaba kufuneka iziwe ngabantu, emva koko kuya kuba lula ukukhetha inketho "yokulwa".
- Sinomona xa sithanda. Kwaye akunjalo na? Uphi udibaniso phakathi "nothando" kunye "nomona"? Ingxabano enjalo ivela apha, ngokuqinisekileyo, njengesizathu kunye nesinye isigxina ngenxa yezizathu zangempela zomona. Uthando ngowona mnqweno wokunyamekela omnye umntu, ukubandakanyeka ebomini bakhe. Uthando aluvelanga umona. Unokuhlangana nomntu othanda ngokwenene, kodwa ngubani ongekho ngokupheleleyo kumona wobukhwele.
- Ukuzingca kunye nomona. Kuyathakazelisa, kodwa ngaba kukho into efanayo phakathi kwezi ngcamango? Inzondo yinto enyanisekileyo yomntu ekubonakalisweni okwenene okanye okubonakalayo kokuqwalasela omnye umntu. Xa kubonakala kuthi ukuba intle-ethandekayo ibonisa umdla kumntu, sinomona onobunzima, ngakumbi kunokusilimaza. Kungabonakala ngathi, uya kucinga, ukucinga kwadlalwa, kodwa asizami ukuyijonga. Kule meko, kuthi, kubalulekile ukuba kungabikho ubungqina besikhwele sethu, ukwanela kwawo, njengesongelo lomzamo walo "kwipropati yethu". Ngoko ukuthetha, yam ingachukumisi, ayinikezi. Ukuzikhukhumeza kwioli. Ewe, sonke sizingca ngokwemvelo, sonke sifuna okulungileyo. Nangona kunjalo, kwezinye iimeko, ukuzingca ngokukhawuleza "kumanqanaba", okwenza ubomi bunzima kakhulu.
- Ukungakhuselekanga kunye nomona - oko sele kunomdla. Akukho nto inokuncedwa, ukuba sinomona, ngoko sinoyika. Kwaye sinoyiko, njengomthetho, wokungaqiniseki, kwaye kaninzi kuthi ngaphakathi kwethu. Unengqiqo, unhle, ulungile, kwaye ngokukhawuleza kukho umntu ongcono kunam - kwizigqibo ezinjalo zokungaqiniseki kwethu ekufuneka sizilwe ngazo. Zixabise ngokujonga ngaphandle, zama ukuzinikela ukuhlola okujoliswe kuyo. Ukuba akunjalo ukuzithoba (kule ndawo, ukufunda iincwadi ezizodwa, ukuqeqeshwa kwengqondo, njl.), Kwaye ukuba kukho iziphoso ezinzulu, qalisa ukusebenza. Njengoko bathetha, akukho mda wokuphelela. Yenza ngokwakho-ukubonakala kwakho nehlabathi lakho langaphakathi. "Yenza umbala" ngemibala emitsha, eqaqambileyo, ibe yinto enomdla kuwe, phuhlisa. Emva koko uya kuba nethemba ngokwakho, into enomdla kumntu oyintanda kunye nombuzo wokuyeka ukukhwele umyeni othandekayo uya kubonakala nje ekhohlisayo kwaye ehlekisayo kuwe. Ngubani na oya kunika umfazi onjalo?
Izixazululo ezizimeleyo kwiimeko eziqhelekileyo
Indlela yokuyeka umona xa, ngathi, kukho isizathu-siya kuqwalasela iimeko eziqhelekileyo.
- Unokuyeka njani umona ngexesha elidlulileyo. Amava olwalamano lwangaphambili aluxabanga. Simele sihloniphe abantu, sibulele ngezinto abazifundisayo, musa ukuzihlazisa iintsilelo zabo. Kodwa yintoni enokuyenza xa idlulileyo ingavumeli ukuba umntu asimthande? Ukuba umthandi wakho uthetha kunye nentombi yakhe yangaphambili, xa ngokusemthethweni bengabophi nantoni na, ngoko-ke phawulelani. Okokuqala, mhlawumbi omnye wabo (nokuba iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakhe langaphambili) kusekho izibonda zithembele kwikamva labo eliqaqambileyo. Okwesibini, ukuze ufumane olukhoyo, kufuneka uvumele ukuhamba kwithuba elidlulileyo, kwaye ekubeni ezi zimbini zingamvumeli ukuba ahambe, uya kuba nomona de kube ngumdala. Ewe, ngokungathi ndodwa ndingaba nomona ...
Enye imeko xa umthandane wakho sele esele watshata (okanye engazange abe khona) kunye nangomdla wokuqala badibene nokukhuliswa kwakhe, okanye kunoko, umntwana wabo. Kwimeko efanayo, uya kuba nzima. Yonke into iya kuxhomekeka ngokwaneleyo komfazi wangaphambili, ebomini bakhe bomntu obusisiseko obuhle, kwibudlelwane phakathi kwabangaphambili abafazi kunye nolwalamano lwakho nomntwana womthandi. Uluhlu lweentsebenziswano kunzima. Kubalulekile ukwakha ngokufanelekileyo, ukuvavanya nokuyiqonda. Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, kubalulekile ukwamkela iimeko kwaye uxolelane nabo. Ukuba uyakuthanda kwaye uyakuthanda - ngaba ufanele ukhathazeke?
- Ukuyeka umona ngomhlobo. Ukuba intombazana inomona ngomhlobo wayo, ke sekuyisikhathi sokuvuma ukuba lo mhlobo ude wayeka ukuba "ngumhlobo." Kukho ukuphakama okuphezulu ukuba awunayo imizwa enobungane kuye, kodwa uthanda iimvakalelo. Mhlawumbi le mvakalelo iyenzeka, kwimeko apho simele sithathe "inkomo ngeempondo!" Kuphela kwimeko yokuba oku akukona umbhikisho wokuzithemba kwakho nokuzingca, kodwa unyanisekileyo noluthando lokwenene. Ngobugovu bakho, zihlambulule kwaye ungaphikisani nomhlobo wakho.
- Unokuyeka njani umona ngomntu ongaphambili. Phendula umbuzo omnye - usayithanda? Ukuba uthanda, ngoko uthetha wakho. Ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbi nonke nenza iphutha xa niqhekeza kwaye ngoku nonke nihlupheka. Mhlawumbi, zonke eziya kuwe ziya kuvela. Ukuba wakho umdala uyavuya kunye nomnye, kwaye uhlushwa ngumona - kufuneka uvumele loo ndoda ukuba ihambe. Ekugqibeleni, thabatha ubomi bakho, uwanele ukujonga emva. Yayiyintoni-leyo leyo, elowo unelungelo lonwabo, kwanomnye umntu.
- Ungayeka njani umona emva kokungcatsha. Ukhohlakele lixesha elihle lokuba nomona. Kodwa musa ukuzibhenela ngokukhohlisa ukuba unokulibala. Ukuxolela - mhlawumbi, kodwa ungalibali. Ngenxa yeso sizathu, umona uya kuhlala ube ngumhlobo wakho othembekileyo. Okanye nangona ulwalamano nolunye olutshintshile wena,
ayiyi kuphela. Ngaphezulu kweyokugqibela - cinga, mhlawumbi kufuneka uyiqedele yonke into? Ngaba lo mntu ufanelekile iinyembezi zakho, iingxaki kunye nempilo engcolileyo?
Umbuzo wobugwenxa ngumcimbi ohlukeneyo, apho kufuneka siwuqonde, kwaye, ndiyathemba, siya kuphumelela. Ngokuphathelele umona, nantoni ukuzikhethela - ukuba uhlale ulawulwa, ukulwa kunye "ukuphatha" oku, uhlobo lwesifo, okanye nje ngekona ukuxilongwa ngogqirha-ingxaki ye-neurosis.
Ngoko qaphela iimbilini zakho.