I-Congruence - (i-congruens yesiLatini, -i-intis - ngokuqhelekileyo, efanelekileyo), kwingqondo yengqondo: isimo sengqibelelo; fumana ulwazi lwenyaniso; izenzo ezenziwa ngokubambisana, izandi kunye nokungabi ngamazwi. Umntu onobumbano ngumntu onyanisekileyo, engabonwa ngamanga. Ngokomzekelo, xa sithetha, sinokubona inkcukacha kumgangatho wangaphandle wezinto zangaphakathi. Le ngcamango ye-congruence yaziswa nguCarl Rogers. Njengomzekelo wokungabikho komzimba, kunokuziqhelanisa okanye ukukhohlisa. Badidekile nohanahaniso nokuphinda.
Inkolelo ye congruence
Umntu obonisa ukungabikho kwengqondo angenakukuqonda oku. Kwenzeka ngexesha lomsindo okanye uxinzelelo, okanye ukudideka. Umntu, ngaloo mzuzu, ucinga ngoko. Kwaye siyaqaphela oku, kodwa ungayi kuluqwalasela ingqalelo, ukuqonda nokuxolela. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba umntu uzame ukukhohlisa ngamabomu, ubeke imaski. Emva koko siqala ukuyiphatha ngokuhlukileyo.
Ukudibanisa ekunxibelelaneni
Ngomntu omdala ndifuna ukugcina unxibelelwano, ukuba nobudlelwane bezoshishino. Sisoloko sinokuqiniseka ngokunyaniseka kwamazwi akhe. Asinakuvakatyekiswa ngokungathandabuzeki ngokungathembeki kwakhe. Khumbula isimo sakho sengqondo kumntwana omncinci.
Xa ujongana nabantu abasolisayo, soloko uqwalasela izibonakaliso zangaphandle. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abagxeki bazinikela ngendlela engenzi ngezwi. Thelekisa nento oyivileyo, kwaye ngoko uya kuphulaphula kwaye ugxile. Ngenxa yoko, azikhohliswa. Umgaqo wendibano kukunyaniseka, kokubili wena nabanye. Abantu abasondeleyo baziva bengathembekanga. Oku kuya kuqondwa. Kukho nawuphi na umsebenzi, abantu abathandekayo banomdla kakhulu.
Ukudibanisa kuNxibelelwano
Nsuku zonke sifuna ukuphuhlisa ukuze siziphucule. Ukuba umntu onamahloni oza kuqhubeka exabana yakhe kwindlu kunye nesitalato, akaze aphumelele. Ngenxa yokuba kuzo zonke izenzo siyazibonakalisa. Njengoko sisekhaya nasekhaya, ngoko sinokusebenza kunye nabahlobo. Zama ukuhlakulela umkhwa obalulekileyo. Kwaye ke, ngomnye, sebenzisa abanye, ubeke endaweni embi.
Ukuzifundisa kuyimfuneko yokunxibelelana. Ukunyaniseka nokucocekileyo. Xa abantu abanjalo beya kulungelelanisa, bafanele bona, banomdla.
Akunzima ukuba luhlangane. Zonke ziyaqala ezincinci. Ukuba ufuna ukufezekisa oku kwabanye, qalisa ngokwakho:
- Okokuqala, soloko unika ingxelo ngezenzo zakho nezenzo zakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuba zincinane kangakanani. Kwiimeko ezaziwa kuwe kuphela, cinga ukuba ziyaziwa kwihlabathi lonke. Mhlawumbi, ngoko uya kucinga ngokuphindaphindiweyo, kodwa ngezinga elikhulu, ngokuqinisekileyo, ungenzi iphutha.
- Okwesibini, ukuba sikwazi ukuzifundisa thina, kuya kucaca kwabanye. Kwaye baya kukuhlonela ngakumbi kwaye bakuthembele! Wonke umntu uya kukwazi ukuziphakamisa xa eqonda ukubaluleka kwaye useka injongo. Abahlobo bakho banokukunceda. Thembeka wena kunye nabanye. Inhlanhla!