Imilinganiselo yanamhlanje kwintsebenziswano yesini esahlukileyo iyahluke kakhulu nalawo ayekho ngaphambili. Ngoku a madoda asalathandanga ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nomzamo ukuphumeza intombazana kwaye ungene ebudlelwaneni naye, ngoko ke uncomo lwaloo hlobo unokuvela kumntu xa ukhona, ukuwubeka ngobumnene, ungakulungele. Ngako oko, umbuzo owenene ngowendlela yokwenqaba ngokukhululekile umntu ukuba ngumbono wakho ukhawuleza.
Umfazi ongenakunqwenelekayo kwaye onamahloni, ngokuqinisekileyo, ufuna ukumgatya eso siphakamiso ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ukwesaba ukukhubekisa umntu kunye nokucinga malunga nokuba awuyi kuvunyelwa okanye uya kukhatywa kuya kubaluleka kangangokuthi uya kufuna ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba abonise ukungafuni ukuthetha nalo mntu. Umfazi othembekileyo owaziyo umqondo kumadoda uya kunqanda ngaphandle kokulibala.
Ungayinqaba njani?
Umntu ngamnye uhlukile kwaye ufuna indlela yakhe. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokucima ubuhlobo ngokupheleleyo okanye ukuyeka bonke.
- Ukwazi ukuthetha cha. Ukuba ufuna ukuyeka ulwalamano nomntu kwaye awazi ukuba ungafuni ukuhlangabezana neengcebiso eziphambili kuba uya kuba-ungachithi ixesha, kodwa ngokukhawuleza uchaze iinjongo zakho.
- Umtsalane obusondeleyo. Ukuba umfana uye wangena kumkhwa wokuvakatyelela ngaphandle kwemvume evela kuwe, kwaye ucinga ukuba ungayifumana ukudibana okanye ukumthintela ukuba angakhanjethi kuwe, ngoko kufuneka wenze oku: ukuba unenja, ngoko ngexesha lokutyelelwa kweendwendwe ezingamenywanga, unako bhe kisela ukuba ufuna ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza kwilwanyana, ukuze ungeke uhlale kunye.
- Ungayinqaba njani yangaphambili. Ukuba i-anti-intombi yakho ifuna ukuhlaziya ubudlelwane, kwaye ungaziqhelani nomnqweno wakhe, ngoko akufanele umnike iinto ethembekileyo kwaye wuleza ukuvakalisa ukungafuni ukubuyisela iimvakalelo ezinde.
Into ebaluleke kakhulu kuloo meko ayiyikulibala ukuba indoda kunye neentsilelo, ngoko ndiyinyanisekile kuye kwaye ndithetha ngokunyaniseka kunokwenzeka, kwaye "ndingayinqambi" ngeengxelo ezibuhlungu.