Ulwalamano oluthandanayo phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi luhamba nge-algorithm ethile, ekupheleni okanye ngokwahlukana komtshato. Ingqondo yezobudlelwane ithatha ingqalelo ezininzi izinto ezichaphazela iimvakalelo zesinye isiqingatha. Ukwazi imigaqo engundoqo, unokuzikhusela ekunqothulweni ngaphambili.
Ingqondo yengqondo malunga nendoda
Izinto ezisisiseko zokujongana nesini esahlukileyo zibekwa ngabantu ebuntwaneni babo. Ngenxa yoko, utata udlala indima ebalulekileyo ekukhulisweni kwonyana wakhe: ubonisa umzekelo wakhe wendlela yokubonisa intlonipho kunye nokholo kuye nomfazi wakhe nomama. Abafana abavela kwiintsapho ezingaphantsi kunye nokuhlala nooyise-abatshabalali baqala ukufumana ubunzima ebuhlotsheni babo kunye namantombazana asele eselula. Ngaphambi kokuba afinyelele kwiminyaka engama-25, imeko ingatshintshwa ukuba loo mfana ulungele ukuzikhangela okanye aphendule kwi-psychologist.
Ngokuchasene neentlonelo, abafana abanomdla kuphela ekukhangeni kwangaphandle kunye nokuhambelana ngesondo, kodwa nakweminye, imiba ebalulekileyo:
- Ukuqwalaselwa . Ingqondo yengqondo ekusebenzelaneni nabesifazane iyamangalisa: kubonakala ukuba ininzi yabo yonke inqwenela inhlonipho kunye nokuqatshelwa kwabathandekayo babo.
- Inkxaso . Xa u tyelela isazi sezengqondo, isondo esiqinileyo sikhalaza ukuba umfazi okanye inkosikazi akayikuxabisa uluvo lwakhe kwaye akaboneleli ngenkxaso yokuziphatha. Indoda ayikho ngaphantsi kokuba ufuna ukuphulaphulwa kwaye unomdla unomdla wendlela yakhe yokuhamba ngayo.
Ingqondo yengxaki yomntu kumlingane ixhomekeke kwindlela enomdla ngayo kuye. Nangemva komhla wokuqala, uyazi ukuba unokuqwalasela njengomdla wokudlula okanye ixesha elide. Musa ukukhawuleza ukuya entanyeni yeso sithandwa. Ngaphambi kokuphanga okulula, akunakwenzeka ukuma, kodwa ngokukhawuleza ulahlekelwe ngumdla kuwo. I-psychology yomnqobi weentliziyo zabasetyhini kufuneka isebenzele wena, kwaye ingeyona nto.
Ingqondo yezesetyhini ebubudlelwaneni nomntu
Isabelo seengonyama seendwendwe kuzo zonke iintlobo zokuqeqesha "ukupompa" ubudlelwane babesetyhini. Bendalo ngokwemvelo yokunyamezela imizamo yokunyamekela iimvakalelo zekhethiweyo ngezindlela ezithathwe kwii-psychologists, kwiifom kunye nakwiintombi. Iingcaphephe yabasetyhini ubudlelwane kusekelwe kwintswelo yothando kunye nomsa. Akakwazi ukukhawuleza njengeqabane lakhe, ukuba aphule ubuhlobo obude kuba ngokukhawuleza waqonda ukuba uthando luye lwadlula. Ndiyabulela imfesane yamantombazana, iincwadi zentloni ezinokubhikisana nokuxabana ziya kwenzeka.
I-Psychology yexhoba ngobudlelwane namadoda
Ngamanye amaxesha unesihe kunye nokwesaba ukutshintsha kwimiba yecala elifanelekileyo elihle kangangokuba bathatha inxaxheba kumbingelelo. I-psychology yexhoba ebuhlotsheni ibonisa ukuba umfazi okanye intombazana engaboniyo kwaye uyaba neengxaki zokuzibandakanya kwaye akanomuva ongenakunceda, engakwazi ukulwa. Ngokuqhelekileyo igwetyelwa yintsapho okanye uluntu, igxininisa ukuba "ubeka isohlwayo" - le nto iyanciphisa imeko.
Kukho izizathu ezininzi zezi zinto:
- ebuntwaneni obunzima;
- amava kunye ne-manipulator;
- iingxaki ezinkulu kunye nokuzithemba.
Ukunyamezela ukuziphatha komtyholi akukho nto efanelekileyo, kwaye ekubonakaleni kokuqala kobuqhetseba kufuneka kuthathe isinyathelo esinqumayo:
- Ngokukhawuleza emva kokuvela kwemeko, ngexesha apho kukho ukuvakalelwa kwengcinezelo yengqondo, ungatsho ngokunyanisekileyo umthandayo ukuba awusayi kuzinyamezela.
- Indoda ethatha isikhundla esiphezulu ebubudlelwaneni, kodwa ngokuhlonela umfazi, kubalulekile ukubuyela ekulinganeni. Kuya kufuneka sibe nesineke: yile ndlela yodwa yokutshintsha imeko ibe ngcono.
- Ukuba ubundlobongela beemeko kuthatha iifom ezigqithiseleyo, kuya kufuneka ucinge ngokuhlukana.
Ubudlelwane nomntu ohlukanisile - ingqondo
Ingqondo yeentlobano zesini kunye nomntu osandul 'ukutshatyalaliswa komtshato, ubonisa ubomi kunye nomntu obhekene noxinzelelo olubi. Nangona angalingi ukubonisa ukungakhathaleli kwakhe, kuthatha ixesha lokuba uxinzelelo lwengqondo luphele. Yilungiselele ukuba iqabane liyakwazi ukubeka imaski ye-misogynist okanye i-femanizer, ukufihla ukwesaba ukuphinda umtshato ongaphumeleli.
Iingcali ziqinisekile ukuba i-psychology yesintu ebubudlelwaneni bugqitywa ngokuzinzileyo kwiminyaka emibini emva kokuhlukana nomfazi wayo wangaphambili. Ngelo xesha, ibhinqa elisecaleni layo kufuneka likhunjulwe ekuxoxeni ngezihloko ezinxulumene nomtshato. Ukuba unomntwana oqhelekileyo kunye nomntu osekude naye, zama ukuphazamisa umnqweno womntu ukuba umbone.
Ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo -engqondo
Uthando ngomyeni womnye umntu lubhekwa njengento, kodwa ayikuthinteli inani elikhulu leentombazana ukuba lingabandakanyeka ekunxibelelaneni nalabo abaye batshata ngokusemthethweni ixesha elide kwaye baphumelela. Ukuphumelela ngokwenene, kuba indoda "ishiye" ayiyikugxotha imvakalelo ekhulayo, kodwa ukukhangela isenzo esinobugcisa ngesini, umnqweno wokuzimela okanye ukuziphindisela. Ngelo xesha, i-psychology yobudlelwane phakathi kwendoda kunye nenkosikazi ihlala iquka umfanekiso womfazi onobungozi okanye ogula kakhulu, okuvela kuye indoda kuthiwa uyesaba ukuhamba. UMninimzi uya kufuneka avume isikhundla sokuba "umfazi wesibini", ukuphulaphula izizathu ezinjalo kunye nokuchitha iiholide.
Iengqondo zentsebenziswano phakathi kwendoda nomfazi
Iingcaphelo zentsapho kunye nolwalamano lwentsapho luhle kakhulu. Ngaloo nto, ukuqonda ngokuvisisana rhoqo kubangelwa uthando olujulile, umdla oqhelekileyo kunye nabantwana. Iqabane eliqinileyo ngokukhawuleza kwaye lixazulule ngokukhawuleza iingxaki, likwazi ukuhlambalaza kunye kunye neengxaki. Ukutshatyalaliswa kwalolu thando kunokuthiwa xa abathandi beza phambili ebomini.
Iengqondo zentsapho yobudlelwane bomfazi kunye neengxaki zomyeni
Iengqondo zanamhlanje zobudlelwane beentsapho zibeka ingxaki ngokuhlala kwisibini phantsi kophahla olulodwa iminyaka kunye nokuhlangana kunye neziganeko:
- "Ukukhwela" . Ukungqubuzana kokuqala kwenzalo kwenzeka emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa emva kokuqala kokuhlalisana. Kulo mzuzwana, ukusebenza kwesi sibini kuboniswe kwiimeko zokuqhuba ubomi obufanayo.
- Ingxaki yonyaka wesithathu wobomi ihambelana nokubonakala komntwana okanye ukuthetha ngaye ubuncinci ukusuka kwelinye iqabane. Ukuphupha kokuqhubeka kwelo hlobo, umntu ofumanisa ngokukhawuleza ukuba uhlala nomntwana ongekho umntwana, uya kufaka lula ukutshata. Iqabane elijongene nokungabikho kwengqwalasela ngenxa yengane endlwini iya kuqalisa ukuvukela.
- "Ukugqithisa ngaphezulu . " Ngomnyaka wesibhozo weshumi nantathu, izibini ziziva zikhathala komnye nomnye-ezi ziyingozi kakhulu.
- Inkathazo yeminyaka engamashumi amabini anesihlanu yomtshato . Abantwana bakhula kwaye kwakungekho ndawo eqhelekileyo yokuqhagamshelana. Inceda kwithuba elinjalo ukubonakala kwabazukulwana.
Ingqondo yezobudlelwane zesondo kwintsapho
Ukwabelana ngesondo - inxalenye ebalulekileyo yobomi nawuphi na isibini, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yeyiphi inqanaba lokuphuhlisa iimvakalelo zabo. I-psychology yobudlelwane bezesondo kwintsapho ifundisa amandla okuqonda kunye nokwamkela iingxaki kunye neminqweno yomnye nomnye. Ucebisa ukukhusela ukunyaniseka ngokukwazi ukufumana ukunyaniseka nokuthembela lakho iqabane. Ukuziphatha okubi ngokobulili, ukungabi namandla, ubunzima - zonke ezi ngxaki zixazululwa ngokulula.
Ingqondo yeentsebenziswano ekude
Iimagazini eziluhlaza kwiingqondo zithandabuzo ngokuthandana kwemida, kungekhona ukubala ukulondolozwa kwexesha elide. Kunokwenzeka ukuba bavumelane nabo kuphela kwinto yokuba kunzima ukugcina unxibelelwano olupheleleyo ngefowuni, intanethi kunye ne-Skype. I-psychology yothando kunye nolwalamano kulo mbini kufuneka lwakhiwe ngoluvo lokulangazelela okufuneka lube luncedo phezu kwezikhalazo nokungaqondani. Ngaphambi kokuba ushiye iqabane lakho ixesha elide, qiniseka ukuba uxoxe ngemibandela yokuthembela ngokubambisana: kuphela ngale ndlela ungakuphepha umona.
Ingqondo yezobudlelwane inomdla kakhulu kwaye ihlukeneyo ekufuneka ifundwe kulo lonke ubomi. Wonke umntu udibana nayo, ukuthetha rhoqo ngesini esahlukileyo. Ukuqwalasela iimfuno zesigamu sesibini, isikhundla sakhe sokuphila, ukulindela ngesondo kunye nothando, unokudala ibini elidibeneyo. Ngayinye yale micimbi ibonakaliso lwabantu ngabanye, olukhangeleka kakhulu ekuhlaleni kobudlelwane.