Umbuzo, apho kunzima ukunika impendulo ecacileyo, uxhatshazwa ngaphezu kwesinye isizukulwana. Yintoni eyikrakra kakhulu okanye inzondo? Ewe, zombini zibuhlungu iimvakalelo zomntu, kodwa, njengokuba uyayazi, inzondo ibetha kuphela iimvakalelo kunye nokuzithemba komntu, ngelixa ukungazibandakanyeki kubulala, kuthetha ukuthini ukungathandabuzeki kunzima kakhulu?
Ngoko, yintoni ukungakhathaleli? Ukungabi nandaba kukunciphisa ukuthatha inxaxheba kokubini kwiinguqu ebomini kunye nakwinguqu kuluntu. Abantu abangenamdla abanalo amava ngabanye abantu, abaphelelanga kwaye bahlala bexhala.
Kukho imbonakalo emininzi yokungakhathaleli, ngelixa inzondo ibonakaliswa yintliziyo ekhuselekileyo eyithintela kuphela into ebangela ukuba ibe yinto ebangela yona kodwa iyakhupha.
Izizathu zokungakhathaleli
Ingxaki yokungakhathaleli ikhona kumntu ngokwakhe, ngokunyelisa kunye nomnqweno wakhe wokuzikhusela kwiintlungu ezibangelwe. Njengomthetho, umntu uqala ukungabandakanyekanga ebomini njengoluhlobo lokukhusela, ngoko, uzama ukuzikhusela ekuxinineni nasekukhuselweni.
Umnqweno wokukhusela kwihlabathi elibi, elaliligatye ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwaye elicaphukisa iimvakalelo zakhe, likhokelela ekubeni umntu akaqondi ngokucacileyo uqala ukubonisa ukungakhathaleli. Kodwa oku kubangelwa yimiphumo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kunye nexesha, ukungabandakanyeli kuba ngumntu wangaphakathi, kwaye akubonakali nje ekungabandakanyeki kubomi bezenhlalakahle, kodwa nangokungakhathaleli.
Izizathu zokungazibandakanyeki zingabunxila, utywala lweziyobisi, ugula ngengqondo, unyango okanye ukulibala kwengqondo. Iifom zexesha elifutshane zokungakhathaleli ziyakwazi ukuphiliswa lula, kuba zivela ngenxa yokuxinezeleka okanye ukungabikho kokukhathazeka.
Ukungakhathaleli komyeni
Umbuzo obakhathazayo ngokukodwa ngabafazi, sisiphi isizathu sokungabandakanyeli kulwalamano? Kwaye kutheni ukungahambelani komntu kumfazi oyintanda-ntanda kuvela?
Into yokuqala yokukhumbula kule meko kukuba ukungakhathaleli kwindoda akuveli ndawo. Njengomthetho, kubonakala ngokuhlambalaza kunye nentukuthelo, kunye nobomi obungasinikiyo ngokwesondo, kwaye nangona kungabikho kwayo. Indoda ayisoze yamshiya intombi yakhe ethandekayo, eyilungiselela embhedeni. Mhlawumbi isizathu sokuba ukungakhathaleli kwendoda yakhe kwakuyiveli kumacala. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ukuba omnye wabafazi baqala ukuziva bengenandaba nomnye, kubalulekile ukuba ungagxininisi kuphela kuwe, kodwa uthetha nomlingane wakho. Mhlawumbi, isizathu sokungabandakanyeli kwakuhlobo oluthile lweengxabano zasekhaya, ezinokusombulula ngokulula ngokuthetha ngalo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba esinye isiqingatha asifuni ukuphulaphula nantoni na, makungabikho uguquko olusenyongweni lwakho, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuhamba.
Isitatimende esaziwayo se-A.P. I-Chekhov kule akhawunti ithi: "Ukungabi nandaba kukukhubazeka komphefumlo, ukufa kwangaphambili" kwaye akulula ukulwa nalo, kodwa inzondo yintliziyo nje eyona nto ingenanto kwaye ingenakwenzeka.
Ukuba omnye wabathandekayo bakho ubhekene nengxaki yokungakhathaleli, musa ukuma eceleni. Zibuze umbuzo: "Indlela yokujongana nokungakhathaleli?". Ncedise ukuba asombulule le ngxaki yangaphakathi, uchaze ukuba ubomi bomntu abupheli ngaphandle kokukhathazeka, ukukhathalela, ukuqonda nokuthanda, kuba ebusweni babo ukuhlala bengenamdla akunakwenzeka.