Ngelishwa, ngokuqhelekileyo unokuva izikhalazo ezivela kubasetyhini: "Umyeni wam undibetha," "waphakamisa isandla sakhe" kunye nezinto ezinjalo. Enyanisweni, ngamanye amaxesha ubugwenxa besilisa abufumani nhlobo indlela yokuphuma, kwaye kuya kwinto yokuba umntu uqala ukubetha umfazi wakhe okanye umntwana, esebenzisa ubuthathaka babo aze aphenduke i-monster yasekhaya.
Nangona kunjalo, oku kunjalo nje xa ibhinqa lifuna ukubonisa ukuzimisela komlingiswa wayo kwaye ibonise amandla, ngaphandle koko ukubetha kuya kufuneka kukunyamezele ixesha elide.
Kuthekani ukuba indoda yam ishaya umfazi wayo?
Ukuba umyeni uyabethwa, yona nto inokukhetha ukuyilahla. Ukuba unabantwana abaqhelekileyo, kwaye awufuni ukushiya umhlukumezi wasekhaya ngenxa yoko, cinga nje: ngaba kuya kuba ngcono ukuba abantwana babone iziganeko zobundlobongela kunye nonina otyongwe kunokuhlala ngaphandle kobawo? I-psyche yengane inzima kakhulu, ngoko ukuba awufuni ukukhulisa abantwana ngoyiko, ngoko kukulungele ukuhamba.
Ukuba akukho ndlela yokuphuma, kufuneka ukulwe. Awukwazi ukutshintsha abantu abanobukhohlakali, ingakumbi kuba umntu onjalo ukhubaze ngengqondo (okufuneka ayenziwe), ngoko ke nayiphi na imizamo yokukholisa, isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo, ukuzaliseka kweemfuno zakhe akuyi kubakho kwisiphumo esifanelekileyo.
Nazi ezinye izicwangciso ezinokukunceda ukunceda imeko:
- akunangqondo ukukholelwa ukuba uya kukwazi ukulwa naye ngeenyawo ezilinganayo, kodwa akuyi kuba yingozi ekubhaleni kwizifundo zokuzikhusela;
- Kwakhona kufuneka unqabise ukukhutshiswa: ukuba kuyacaca ukuba umyeni "uqala", ushiye indlu ixesha okanye ungaphenduli kubo. Yenza sengathi ungayiqapheli, kwaye makwenze oko ifuna;
- kunceda ukulungiselela igumbi ngaphandle kweengcango zeglasi kunye nokuxhoma ityekhi kuyo ngaphakathi ukuze ukuba umyeni aqale ukuhlasela, ungazifihla kuye. Kuyinto enqwenelekayo ukugcina amanzi apho kunye nezinye iindlela zokunxibelelana, ezingenakukunqumla;
- kodwa ezenzweni zakhe kufuneka zipapashwe: qhagamshelana neendaba zengingqi, ngokuqhelekileyo intatheli zifuna imeko ezicacileyo zobomi, ngoko akunakwenzeka ukuba wenqabe ukupapashwa. Kucetyiswa ukuba ungashicileli kuphela igama, kodwa kunye nesithombe, ukwenzela ukuba izenzo zakhe zidelelwe ngabo bonke ababaziyo. Mhlawumbi akayikwesaba, kodwa unokwesabisa ngethuba lokukhishwa. Ukuba ungananga ukuthatha le nyathelo, thetha kunye nezihlobo zakho, vumela bajoyine kuwe;
- kwaye unako ukuzama ukumnika izidalwa (xa engekho utywala obushushu rhoqo);
- ukuba umyeni uyabetha umfazi wakhe okhulelweyo, ngoko kuyimfuneko ukumshiya phantsi kweemeko, tk. Oku kubonakaliswa ngokugqithiseleyo kobuqhetseba kunye nomqondiso wokungahambi kakuhle kokuziphatha, kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba unako ukubulala. Akukho nto inokumisa umfazi ukuba aphule nalo mntu.
Kutheni umyeni ebetha umfazi?
Kwabafazi abathile oku kuyimfihlakalo: kutheni umyeni ebetha umfazi wakhe, ngenxa yokuba wamkhetha, watshata kwaye mhlawumbi uyamthanda. Kwabanye, impendulo iyabonakala, kwaye ibuza iimpawu zengqondo, zokuziphatha kunye nezinye.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, amadoda abetha abafazi bawo kuba bacinga ukuba kulungile: bathetha ukuba babonisa amandla abo, "bagwebe" iqabane labo ngenxa yezenzo ezingalunganga, okanye nje banelisekile imfuno yabo yokulimaza.
Nangona kunjalo, naziphi na izizathu ezifana nomyeni ezibiziweyo, ziphela zixoki, akunakwenzeka nabani na ukuba baqonde izinto eziphathekayo zokuziphatha okunjalo: imfundo embi, ubunzima obungenasiphelo kunye nokuthotywa komntu.
Umyalelo wesinyathelo ngeyinyathelo: yintoni oyenzayo ukuba umyeni umbethe nje?
- Simele sizame ukusinda kuyo. Akukho mntu onokumthembisa, wancinci, okanye uyaphumelela ngaphambi kwesibini "ukujikeleza".
- Ukuba awukwazi ukuphuma, zikhiye kwigumbi kunye nefowuni uze ubize amapolisa, ubaxelele ukuba unokubulawa (ukuba indoda ingumsindo). Kwimeko nayiphi na into, biza ukunyanzeliswa komthetho: umsebenzi wabo ukukhusela ubuthathaka nokukhuseleka ngokuchasana, ngoko baya kukunceda, kwaye indoda iya kucinga ngokuzayo ukuba ingaqala "ikonsathi".
- Ukuba umyeni uhlaselwa kakubi (ubuncinane ubuncinane okanye utyumle) -
Kwakhona wabiza i-ambulensi: oogqirha baya kunceda ukuzinza inkqubo yesantya yomyeni ongonelanelekanga kwaye uhlolisiswa.
Into eyona nto ayiyikiyo ukulimaza lo mntu unenkohlakalo (kwaye ngokukhawuleza, ngenxa yokubizelwa kwamapolisa, amagunya aya kufumanisa ukuba umyeni ulwa kwaye uya kumtshisa): ngoku unethamsanqa, waqhekeza umsindo kumfazi obuthathaka ongakwazi ukuphendula, kodwa ucinge ukuba Elandelayo kwakuyindoda enezihlandlo ezimbini kunamandla kuye, yintoni eya kuba yinto ebizwa ngokuba ngumyeni? Ngoko ke, bhetele ufundise ukuziphatha kwakhe okuqhelekileyo, kwaye ubonise ukuba akukho mqathango. Musa ukuxabisa ubudlelwane nomntu onjalo, kwaye jonga ithuba lokuwaphula. Yonke imiqathango yokulwa nogonyamelo ingaba yinkqubela yesikhashana.