Wonke umntu ufuna ukuthanda nokuthandwa, kodwa maxa wambi le miqweno emibili ayihambisani. Uthando olungagqithwanga luba ngumthombo wamava anamandla kunye neemvakalelo ezimbi . Nangona kunjalo, le meko inokuthi ikwazi ukukhula kwangaphakathi nokuziphucula.
Yintoni engayithandiyo uthando?
Iingongoma kunye nabalobi, abaculi kunye nabaqondisi bakhuluma ngothando njengoluhlobo lwemfihlakalo, engenakukwazi ukuyiqonda ngokupheleleyo. Uthando olomeleleyo luthando luya kumzuzwana ongalindelekanga kwaye unganise zonke iingcinga kunye neminqweno. Ngesinye isikhathi umthandi uqala ukuqonda ukuba isikhulu somhlaba wonke siba ngumnye umntu, kunye nehlabathi lakhe langaphakathi kunye neminqweno. Ukugxinwa ngcamango yomnye, umthandi uzama ukusondela kwinto enomdla, ukumbona, ukuva, ukuchitha ixesha kunye naye, ukwenza ngcono ubomi bakhe.
Umthandi uhlala enqwenela ukukhupha uthando olusuka kwintetho yakhe. Kuphela okokuqala kubonakala ngathi ukulungelelanisa akubalulekanga kakhulu: nje ukuba ube kufuphi nomthandayo. Kodwa ngokugqithiseleyo, uthando olungathandabuzekiyo luba ngumthwalo kumntu, lugxotha amandla akhe, lubambe yonke ingcinga. Ngoko ke, ukunyameka kwengqondo yothando olungathandabuzekiyo lunamandla kwaye luhlala ixesha elide kunothando lomtshato .
Uthando olungathandekiyo kwingqondo
Utata odumileyo we-psychoanalysis u-Erich Fromm wabhala ukuba uthando lokwenene luyabangela ukulungelelana. Wabongoza bonke abantu ukuba bafunde ukuthanda ngokuchanekileyo kwaye kuthiwa uthando lobugcisa. Ukuqonda izizathu zokuba kutheni uthando lungabonakali kwaye aluvuli impendulo entliziyweni yomnye, i-Fromm ikhuluma ngobuqili bomntu, ukuzingca nokungazi kule nto. Iingcali zengqondo zanamhlanje zijonga uluthando njengento yokudibanisa neendlela zamakhemikhali ezibangelwa ziinkalo ezahlukeneyo.
Ukuba nomoya wothando, umntu entloko kufuneka ahambisane nenani leempawu ezibaluleke kakhulu kuye. Imiqondiso enjalo inokuba yinto: ukubonakala, isithintelo sezwi kunye nesigxina, ukufana nomnye wabazali, imbeko, iphunga, imeko, njl njl. Oko kukuthi, ukuthanda ngokufanayo umfanekiso ofunwayo kufuneka uhambelane nabantu ababini. Uthando olungagqithwanga lunokuchazwa njengento ebangelwa ngummeli womntu oyedwa kunye nokungabikho kwamanyathelo afanelekileyo kumnye.
Kutheni kukho uthando olungenakuthatyathwa?
Uthando oluqinileyo olungenakuxhatshazwa lunokuba nezizathu ezahlukeneyo:
- Ukuzithoba, okuvimbela umntu ukuba angabonakali kwicala elifanelekileyo;
- ukuzingca, ngenxa yoko umthandi ubeka ingqalelo kwimvakalelo yakhe kwaye akakwazi ukuqonda iminqweno neemfuno zothando lwakhe;
- inkqubo yexhoba ehlala iqhuba umntu kwimeko apho kufuneka ahlupheke kwaye ahlupheke;
- ukungakwazi ukuthetha kunye nesini esahlukileyo;
- ukungakwazi ukuthanda omnye umntu, ukuqonda, ukuva;
- ukungakwazi ukuzithoba, ukubonisa iimpawu zabo ezifanelekileyo;
- ukungahambi kakuhle kweembono zamaqabane ebomini;
- ukwahlukana kwamaqabane kwimeko, iimfuno, inqanaba lomqondo.
Ivakalelo ezingenanto zingathethwa ngegama elibi. Kule meko, musa ukulibala malunga nothando olungathandabuzekiyo olufundisayo. Unako ukuxelela umntu ukuba ufuna ukutshintsha, utshintshe ezinye iimvo zakhe okanye imikhwa. Uthando olungapheliyo luthandana lunceda umntu ukuba abe nomonde, onothando, ukuqonda, onenkathalo.
Uthando olungagqithwanga - iimpawu
Ukuzama ukufumana impendulo kumbuzo wokufumanisa ukuba uthando alufunyanwanga, umntu makakhumbule ukuba imeko ingatshintsha. Uthando olungabonakaliyo namhlanje lungabelana ngomso. Ngako oko, musa ukucaphukisa uze uqede ulwalamano olunokuthi lube nolwalamano oluzayo kwixesha elizayo. Nangona izazi zeengqondo zibiza iimpawu zothando olungathandabuzekiyo, zihlala ziqaphele ukuba ubudlelwane babo bubalulekile kwaye omnye akufanele athathe kuzo zonke iimpawu njengento efanelekile kwimeko ethile. Sithetha ngezinto ezinjalo zothando olungathandabuzekiyo:
- iqabane alithandanga ukuchitha kunye ngokubanzi;
- Abathandekayo okanye abathandekayo abafuni ukuqhelana neqabane kunye nabahlobo babo;
- Umthandayo akagwebi ukuthetha ngobudlelwane, akafuni ukuzimisela kwisimo sobudlelwane;
- iqabane alifuni ukuqhagamshelana nomzimba;
- Umthandayo akabonakalisi uthando kunye nesisa;
- kulwalamano kukho ukungahambisani okuthe ngqo.
Ngaba uthando olungenakutshintshwa luyakunikwa kwakhona?
Uthando olungathandekiyo lubuhlungu kakhulu kwaye luvusa umbuzo wendlela yokufumana uthando olungathandabuzekiyo. Ukubona othandekayo osondeleyo kwaye akakwazi ukwenza ubudlelwane obugcwele naye kunzima kwaye bubuhlungu. Kwimeko enokungaqiniseki kukho i-ray yethemba: ukuziva okungenakuthelekiswa kunokubangela impendulo entliziyweni yomntu othandekayo. Amava asebenzayo abonisa ukuba ezininzi iintsapho zineziqabane eziye zavela kwiintsebenziswano apho umntu wokuqala kuphela wayebathandana. Ukuba uthando luyakwazi ukuzala isiqhamo aluxhomekeke kuphela kwiimeko, kodwa nakwiimvavanyo, ubulumko namandla okuthandana nomthandi.
Uthando olungathandekiyo - yintoni oyenzayo?
Uthando olungathandekiyo kumntu okanye umfazi sisihlandlo sokubheka ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwaye uzame ukuqonda ukuba kutheni uthando lungenayo impendulo. Ezi ngcebiso zinokukunceda ukufezekisa ukulungelelanisa:
- Kufuneka ukuba ufunde ukuphulaphula iqabane kunye nokuliqonda;
- bahlala bexoxa malunga nezinto ezithandayo umlingane;
- fumana izinto eziqhelekileyo okanye izinto ezithandwayo;
- uzama ukungena kwinkampani yothandekayo;
- Ukufumanisa ukuba zeziphi iimpawu zomlingisi zimangalisa umntu othandekayo kwaye zivelise kuye.
Indlela yokusindisa uthando olungenakutshitshiswa-iingcebiso zeengqondo zeengqondo
Abantu abaninzi abaye bafumana uthando olungathandabuzekiyo bathi nakuba bevalelwa ezi ntlungu, bavuya gqitha nothando lwabo. Ukuba kunzima ukuba kweli lizwe, unokusebenzisa ngokunjalo isiluleko ezinjengezengqondo zengqondo njengendlela yokusindisa uthando olungathandabuzekiyo:
- uzame ukuhlala kuluntu rhoqo;
- Musa ukucinga ngokubanzi malunga nendlela yokujongana nothando olungathandabuzekiyo, kungcono ukuphazamiseka kuzo zonke iingcamango kule ngxoxo ngokusebenzisa ukunxibelelana kunye nezinto ezithandayo zokuzonwabisa.
- ukujonga uthando lwakho njengethuba lokufumana iimvakalelo ezimnandi;
- ukuqonda ukuba emva kwexesha umntu uqala ukubheka iimvakalelo zakhe ezidlulileyo kwaye unokuvuya ukuba ukulungelelana nomntu ongeyena;
- khumbula ukuba ixesha liyancipha nayiphi na intlungu.
Uthando olungenakutshitshiswa
Uthando olungenakutshitshiswa luhlala lukhumbuza ubomi. Yintoni esiya kuyenza le memori, kuxhomekeke kwindlela ikusasa lomntu eliza kuphuhlisa ngayo. Unentsapho eyoyolo, umthandayo uya kukuvumela ukuba ukhumbule ngothando olungathandabuzekiyo kwixesha elidlulileyo kunye nefuthe lokudabuka okukhulu. Ulwalamano olungagqibekanga okwangoku luya kwenza umntu acinge ngothando olungelona luthandana njengelithuba elilahlekileyo. Imiphumo yothando olungelona luthando luya kuxhomekeka kuphela kumntu ngokwakhe, omele enze izigqibo kwiimeko aze enze isimo esifanelekileyo.
Ithini ibandla malunga nothando olungathandabuzekiyo?
Ngokwesiko lobuKristu, lonke uthando luvela kuThixo. Ukusuka kweli ngcamango, uthando olungcolileyo olungenalo luhlobo lomntu ukubonisa iimpawu zakhe ezilungileyo ngenxa yomnye umntu. Uthando lweBhayibhile uluthando lwe-agape, luyintando, alufunanga nto ngokubuyisela. UThixo uyakuthanda lolu hlobo lothando. Uthando olungagqithwanga lufundisa umntu ukuthobeka, umonde kunye nenkonzo ukuze kuzuze abanye.
Iincwadi malunga nothando olungathandekiyo
Uthando olungelona luthando luchazwe ngokucacileyo kwimisebenzi eminingi yobugcisa. Iincwadi malunga nothando olungathandabuzekiyo lunceda ukuba uziqonde kangcono wena kunye neemeko eziye zavela. Iincwadi eziphezulu kakhulu ezi zihloko ziquka:
- UMargaret Mitchell "Wahamba Nomoya" . I-heroine eyinhloko yonke into ebomini bakhe kunye nothando olungathandabuzekiyo kwaye kuphela ekupheleni kobomi bakhe uyaqonda ukuba ngokwenene sele esamthanda omnye umntu ixesha elide.
- UFrancis Fitzgerald "I-Great Gatsby" . Incwadi isekelwe kwibali malunga nothando olungathandabuzekiyo lwendoda ecebileyo ebomini bakhe bonke babona amaphupha kuphela ekuboneni ubuncwane bakhe ubuncinci ngamanye amaxesha.
- UStefan Zweig "Ileta evela kumfokazi" . Uthando bubomi bomsebenzi - lo lulolu hlobo lo msebenzi. Indoda engalindelekanga emva kweminyaka emininzi ifunda ukuba yayithandwa kangakanani ngeli xesha.