Uthando luzisa ukwaneliseka lokwenene xa ludibene. Ukuba umfazi uziva ethanda, uya kuvuya kwaye enze abantu bajabule. Nangona kunjalo, akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuqonda ukuba iimvakalelo zomzimba ziyavumelana. Ngamanye amaxesha unokungathandabuzeki ukuba uthando lunokuvela ngenxa yokuba iimvakalelo zatshintshile ubuncinane ngenxa yobude bobudlelwane . Kwezinye iimeko, iqabane lingenakukwazi ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zabo kwiilwimi zentsapho. Nangona utshintsho oluncinci kulwalamano lungabangela umbuzo, indlela yokuqonda ukuba ufuna umntu. Ukujongana nale ngxaki, kufuneka ubeke ingqalelo kwizinto ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha kunye nesimo sengqondo kuwe nakwintsapho yakho.
Uyazi njani ukuba ufuna umntu?
Ukuba ungathandabuzeki ukuvalelwa kwemvakalelo yendoda yakho oyintanda, mboneni indlela aziphatha ngayo kwiimeko ezithile ezithile. Uyakuxabisa ukuba:
- Kubalulekile ukuba awazi uluvo lwakho kwimibandela eyahlukeneyo, uyabonisana nawe kwaye enze izigqibo ezithile ngoncedo lwakho;
- Ulungele ukwenza njengoko uthanda, nokuba akavumelani ukuba kuyimfuneko yokwenza njalo;
- Uzama ukukwenza izinto ezintle: unika izipho, unxibe, unceda ngemisebenzi yasendlini;
- indoda ifuna ukuyichitha ixesha layo kunye nawe;
- Uzama ukukuqhelanisa nabahlobo bakhe kwaye uthetha ngawe phambi kwabo nothando kunye nentlonipho;
- Othandekayo uyakuthanda ukunxibelelana nezihlobo zakho ngokuzonwabisa, ezama ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle nabo;
- Kwiimeko ezinzima indoda endiyithandayo iya kuzama ukukuxhasa, nokuba wena unetyala leemeko ezimbi.
Uyakuqonda njani ukuba ufuna umntu otshatileyo?
Umntu otshatileyo uya kubonisa indlela azive ngayo ngokungafaniyo nendoda ekhululekile. Ngenxa yeemeko, akanako ukukhululeka kunye nokungakhathali njengendoda engenalo intsapho . Ukuba uyakuthanda, kwaye akayisebenzisi nje ukuzonwabisa, ngoko uya kuphawula kwihambo yakhe njengalezi zinto:
- uya kuqikelela kunye neshedyuli yobomi kunye nemizwa yakho;
- Akayi kucinga ngamabali malunga nokuqhawula okanye xa engenakukwenza, kodwa uya kuchaza imeko yakhe kwaye uya kuthatha inxaxheba ngokuhlonela kwakho;
- Indoda ethandwayo ngothando iya kuzama ukwenza izinto ezikhethiweyo ezimnandi.
Ukucinga malunga nombuzo wokuba ungayiqonda njani ukuba ufuna umntu otshatileyo, kufuneka ucinge ngomgangatho apho unokukufuna khona. Mhlawumbi ungumfazi nje, kwaye mhlawumbi ufuna, njengomhlobo omhle. Kule nkalo, ukuqonda kwakho nokuqonda kwamadoda akho akunakulungelelanisa.