Ungamangaliswa ukuva kumntwana wakho umbuzo: bavelaphi abantwana? Ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva, bonke abazali bahlangabezana nesidingo sokuchazela umntwana wabo othandekayo ukuba abantwana bazalwa njani. Nangona kunjalo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthetha ngokucacileyo, ngaphandle kokucaphukisa iingxaki zakho zokuqiqa ngokuphuhliswa ngokwesondo kunye nazo zonke iintlobo zenkxalabo kumntu okhulayo.
Indlela yokuxelela umntwana ngesini?
Okokuqala, zama ukuphepha iingongoma ezazisasazeka ebuntwaneni bakho malunga neengqungquthela ezizisa abantwana endlini, kunye nokuvuthwa kweentsana kwiklabishi. Abantwana banamhlanje, kaninzi, ulwazi kwimicimbi yesondo lwanele. Ndiyabulela kumabonwakude nakwi-intanethi. Ukubona ukuba abazali bayakuphepha intetho okanye abazi ukuba baxelele umntwana apho abantwana bevela khona, unyana wakho okanye intombi yakho uya kuziva uziva ungathembeki kuye. Emva koko, oku kungakuthintela kakhulu ulwalamano lwakho. Ukuqhelisela ukuxelela umntwana inyaniso, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kukhululekile kangakanani. Emva koko, kwintsapho yakho, ukuthembela kunye nokuhlonelana komnye nomnye kuya kuhlala.
Inqwenela yentsana yendalo. Kalula, kuyimfuneko ngethuba le ncoko ukuba uthathe icala lakhe: jonga umxholo womntwana ococekileyo, ongenacala. Xa ugqiba indlela yokuxelela umntwana ngesini, zama ukugxininisa kungekhona kwicandelo lomzimba, kodwa ngobudlelwane bokomoya phakathi kwababini abalingani. Zama ukuchaza ukuba yintoni uthando nokuba kutheni umama nomama befuna kakhulu ukuzala umntwana.
Sebenzisa iimpawu kwibali lakho. Ngokomzekelo, oomama nomama badibana baza bathandana. Babesondelene kakuhle. Kodwa, kungekudala, baqonda ukuba lwabo uvuyo aluphelelanga. Kwaye, ubaba wamanga wam umnika imbewu ekhethekileyo. Le mbewu ifihliwe emathunjini omama kwaye yaqala ukukhula. Emva koko, imbewu yajika yaba yintsana. Inkwenkwe yayifuna ngempela ukubona umama noyise. Ngoko ke, waqala ukubuza ngaphandle. Esibhedlele, umntwana omhle wazalwa ngumama wam esiswini.
Ungalindelanga ukuba umntwana uya kuzibamba kweli bali. Kungenzeka ukuba ilungu lentsapho elijongayo luza kuba nomdla kwindlela aphume ngayo emlonyeni wakhe. Lo mbuzo uvame ukuphendulwa ukuba kukho uvulo olukhethekileyo kumzimba kamama.
Indlela yokulungiselela ukuthetha ngesondo?
Icandelo lomzimba, naye, kufuneka lixhomekeke kwingxoxo. Abazali abaninzi bayazibuza indlela yokuchazela umntwana apho abantwana bevela khona, ukulungiselela ngokukhethekileyo nokuthenga iincwadi, ezilungiselelwe ukuqonda ngabantwana. Ezi zikhokelo zihlanganiswa ngabafundisi abaqeqeshiweyo kunye neengqondo zeengqondo, abazi kakuhle izinto eziziqhathayo zengqondo yesizukulwana esincinane. Iimifanekiso eziboniswayo zibonisa ngokucacileyo umntwana zonke iintlobo zezinto ezihamba phambili eziya kubakhokela abazali kwiimeko ezinzima.
Kwaye ekubeni uxelele abantwana malunga nokuba abantwana bavela phi, malunga nobulili kunye nolwalamano olukhethekileyo phakathi kobawo nonina, abazali abaninzi abanakho ngenxa yeentloni, iincwadi ezintle azicacanga. Umntwana oqhelekileyo okhulayo, evulekile ngokufanelekileyo kumnxibelelwano, uya kukubuza ngokuphindaphindiweyo iqela lemibuzo ngesihloko somdla kuye.
Njengoko uqonda, umbuzo, bavela phi abantwana, kufuneka baxazululwe ngendlela epheleleyo. Ngokuphathelele iinkcukacha zomzimba kuyacetyiswa ukuba uthethe emva komntwana oneminyaka emithandathu ubudala. Kule minyaka, unokwazi ukubiza ngegama lakho uterus, ipenis, kunye namathambo. Ukuba uthabatha amagama, umntwana uya kucinga ukuba kula mabhunga kukho into engcolileyo kwaye uya kuqala ukufumana unamahloni wengqondo.