Kubantu abathile, bathi "hayi" kunzima kakhulu. Ukuziphatha ukucaphukisa umntu okanye into enje yenza ukuba ndivume xa ndifuna ukunqanda. Kuphosakele kakhulu kuwe. Ngokuqinisekileyo, umntu akufanele abe ngumntu ongu-egoist, kodwa ucinga ngowe kunye nokuzithandayo kubaluleke kakhulu. Ngako oko, kufuneka ukwazi indlela yokuthi "hayi" kwaye wenzeni xa ufuna ngokwenene ukuthi "hayi", ukubeka iimfuno zakho kunye neminqweno ngaphezu kwamanye amazwe, ukuba oko kungenziwa ngaphandle kwesazela sesazela.
Indlela yokufunda ukwenqaba nokuthi "hayi"?
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukuhluleka kuqhelekileyo. Akusoloko kubekho ithuba lokubandakanyeka ekusebenzeni kwezicelo zomnye, emva kokuba umntu ngamnye enobomi kunye nemicimbi emele kuqala. Ngoko ungaba neentloni ukusho "hayi", ucinga ukuba ngale ndlela ungakhubekisa umntu. Le nyathelo lokuqala lokufunda ukuphika abantu.
Ukongezelela kubalulekile ukuqonda, ukuba kuyimfuneko ukwenqaba njani. Ewe, ukuba utsho nje ngokuthi "hayi", ngoko umntu unokukhubekiswa. Kodwa ukuba ukugatya kuyinto enhle kwaye inesidima, ngoko akukho mbuzo nawuphi na umthetho. Ubuncinane kwinqanaba lakho ungahlalisa. Enye yeendlela eziqhelekileyo zokwenqaba ukuhlonipha: "Ndiya kuthanda, kodwa ..." Kubalulekile ukuba ungangeni kwiinkcazo zendawo yokuthi kungani ungeke uzalise isicelo. Ungabhekisela ekubhekiselele kwingqesho nakwizinto eziphambili. Kwakhona, njengendlela yokukhetha, le ndlela yokukhanyela ingasetyenziselwa kwakhona. "Kuyinto enesihawu, kodwa andiyiqondi ngoku, oko andinako ukunceda." Ukuba unikwe ityala elingenakho kwikhono lakho, ke ungesabi ukuthetha oku.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, into ebaluleke kakhulu ekufundeni ukuphika abantu izicelo zabo kukuqonda ukuba ukugatywa akusilo ukuhlambalaza kwaye kungabi ngenyameko, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuyimfuneko. Umntu ngamnye ebomini bakhe uva ubuninzi bezakhono kwaye oku kuqhelekileyo.