Xa umfazi efunda ukuba indoda yakhe iqalile enye, nobusuku obunye, umbuzo obunzima kunzima ukuvela phambi kwakhe: uxolela ukukhashelwa? Icandelo ngalinye lifanelekile ukuqwalasela ngokwahlukileyo, ukuqwalasela zonke iimeko.
Uxolele ukutshatyalaliswa komyeni wakhe?
Abasetyhini abaninzi abachazelayo ukuba ukuxolela ukunyeliswa kwendoda yakhe abasayazi ukuba kungakhathaliseki isigqibo sabo ngoku, ekutshweni koburhalarhume, lo mfazi uya kuthatha isandla esiphambili njengesakhono okanye ukukwazi ukuxolela. Inyaniso kukuba akusiyo wonke umntu. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kunye nomlingane onothando kakhulu, owathi wabuya wamthatha umyeni wakhe, emva kwenyanga okanye ezimbini nje akakwazi ukuma kwaye ushiye. Kungenxa yokuba wayecinga ukuba unokuxolela-kodwa hayi, kwakungekho kuye.
Kukho imeko echasene nayo: kuqala umfazi ususa umlingane, kwaye emva koko, emva koko, uyabuya. Kwaye oku kubangelwa ukuba uyakwazi ukulibala ngoku, kwaye ngenxa yokuba wayemthandana nomntu, unamandla ngaphezu kwesigqibo esasithathwe ekuqaleni. Yingakho kuqala uphulaphule, khumbula indlela oqhele ngayo ukuziphatha. Kuphela emva koko unokwenza isigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Ngaba kufanelekile ukuxolela ukutshatyalaliswa komyeni wakhe?
Ubuqhetseba buyahluka. Ukuba kwakuyingozi engayi kuphinda iphinde ivele kwakhona, akusiso isizathu sokuchitha intsapho. Kodwa ukuba idonsa kunye, kwaye awuyikubamba okokuqala, kukho ithuba lokubonisa. Nangona kunjalo, kwiimeko ezinjalo, abafazi banamaxesha athile bavala amehlo abo kwinto eyenzekayo.
Into enzima kunazo zonke ukuxolela ukungcatsha kumntu oqale waqala ulwalamano olubhekiselele kwicala, kunokuba athabe kunye nehenyukazi. Kule meko, isigqibo sokugqibela senu. Into ephambili, ukuvavanya iziphi izigqibo ezenziwe ngumntu ngokwakhe, ngaba wazisola ngokwenene oko kwenzeka? Ukuguquka kwakhe okuqinisekileyo okunika ithemba lokuba umtshato wakho unako kwaye kufuneka ugcinwe.