Ubuqhetseba obathandayo buhlala bunzima. Into yokuqala efika engqondweni yabaninzi abafazi kukuba bahambe kumyeni ongathembekanga. Kodwa ukuba uthando lomntu lukhulu kunomdla wenzondo kunye nenzondo, musa ukunyathela ngamanyathelo.
Wonke umfazi ofumana umyeni wakhe ngenxa yokunyaniseka, emva kwexesha, uyaqonda ukuba umzuzu onzima kakhulu xa wafunda malunga nenkohlakalo. Xa iimvakalelo zokuqala ziphela, ixesha liza lemibuzo, leyo, ngamanye amaxesha, kunzima ukufumana iimpendulo.
Nawuphi na umfazi ufuna ukwazi izizathu zokungcatshiswa kwendoda yakhe, kuba ukukhwabanisa kukunyathelo apho abantu abangathandi nantoni ebomini babo bentsapho baya. Enyanisweni, ukwazi isizathu sonyeliso, asiyi kuba lula. Ngokweengqondo zengqondo, amadoda anika ingqwalasela engakumbi kulo mbandela kunabesifazane. Ubuqhetseba, ngokuqhelekileyo, buyenzeka ngobungqiqo nangaphantsi kwefuthe lotywala.
Emva kokungcatshiswa komyeni wakhe, ngaphambi kokutshisa zonke iibhuloho, kufuneka uzijonge kwaye uzame ukuqonda indlela othandekayo nothando ngayo lo mntu. Kuyaziwa ukuba kulula ukuphula ngaphandle kokwakha, ngoko ke kuyimfuneko ukulinganisela kakuhle i-pros and cons. Kuphela, ukuba uxolo kwaye ucinga kakuhle, kubalulekile ukwenza isigqibo.
Ukuba ukutshatyalaliswa kobomi bentsapho yimeko ekhethiweyo, ngoko kunzima ukuxolela njengoko kubonakala ngathi. Abanye besifazane kulula ukulibala, ukuba umyeni ngokwakhe uvume ukukhohlisa. Kodwa ukuba uyalilibala ibali elingathandekiyo lisebenzisayo, unokucela isiluleko kwi-psychologist okanye uxoxe nabasetyhini abaye bafumana ingxaki efanayo. Akuyena onke amabhinqa anokuxoxa ngokungcatsha komyeni wakhe nomhlobo wakhe, kulula ukwenza oku kwi-Intanethi. Kwanele ukudala isihloko kwiforum "Uncedo, andiyazi indlela yokusinda kwaye ndixolele ukungcatsha kwendoda yam" kwaye abantu abaninzi abaye bafumana amava abo baya kuphendula. Phakathi kweendidi ezahlukeneyo kunye namabali, phantse nawuphi na umfazi uya kukwazi ukufumana indlela efanelekileyo.
Indlela yokuxolela ukunyeliswa komyeni wakhe?
Nazi ezinye iingcebiso ezinikezwa ngabaphathi beengqondo kule ngxaki
- Emva kokufunda malunga nenkohlakalo, zama ukuba "ungaqhubeki" kwaye ungenzi i-scandals. Ezi ndaba ezingathandekiyo kufuneka ziphile ngokusisigxina. Ibhinqa kufuneka liqokelele izinto eziyimfuneko kwaye ushiye ekhaya ubuncinane iintsuku ezimbalwa ukuzisa iingcamango zazo. Ekuqaleni, nayiphi na ibhinqa ayayazi indlela yokuphila ngakumbi emva kokungcatshwa kwendoda yakhe kwaye ukuyeka ukuthetha naye okwesikhashana kuya kuzuza kuphela. Umyeni ngeli xesha uya kuba nokuqonda ukuba usemngciphekweni wokulahlekelwa ngumfazi wakhe.
- Ukhohlo wedwa kunye nentlungu yakho, velisa imizwa yakho. Yonke into eqokelelweyo iza neenyembezi. Ngaloo ndlela kuphela umfazi onokumisela ngokuthe ngqo ukuba uyayifuna le ndoda.
- Ukuba ukukopela akubonakali ukuziphatha komyeni wakho, mxolele kwaye ubuyele ekhaya lakho eliqhelekileyo. Awudingi ukucinga malunga nendlela yokuziphindezela, okanye indlela yokufundisa umyeni wakho ngokunyaniseka, kuba impindezelo yintliziyo ephantsi enganiki naluphi ukwaneliseka kokuziphatha.
- Ukuguqula yakho imbonakalo. Vumela umyeni wakho akukhangele ngendlela entsha. Hlaziya indwangu yokugqoka, yenza i-hairstyle entsha kunye nokwenza. Yiba ngumfazi omhle kunye nenkosikazi. Emva koko, indoda yakho, ephantse khona, ayizange ilahlekelwe yile nwaba, iyayiqonda indlela enomdla ngayo ngaye.
- Yenza iholide nomyeni wakho kwaye uchithe ixesha elide kunye kunye.
Vumela ebomini bakho bufike okwesibini. Ixesha elithile elicacileyo liyindlela efanelekileyo yokulibala ukutshatyalaliswa kwendoda.
Ukuba ukutshatyalaliswa kwendoda yinto eyenzekayo ebomini bakho rhoqo, ke fumana amandla okuyeka lo mntu. Musa ukuthemba ukuba eli lixesha lokugqibela kwaye uya kutshintsha. Amava abonisa ukuba abantu abanjalo abazitshintshi. Kwaye kuninzi kuninzi kukho utshintsho, kunzima ngakumbi ukufumana impendulo yombuzo othi "njani ukuxolela ukutshutshiswa komntu othandekayo?". Ukuphuka nomntu ongathembekanga kuyithuba lokuqalisa ubomi obutsha apho kungekho ndawo yokukhala, intukuthelo nokudabuka.