Sonke sinoyiko ukutshintsha okwenyuka njengesiqhwithi ebomini bethu kwaye siphendule yonke into. Kwaye nangona ngamanye amaxesha sithanda into ethile "ngaphandle kwesiqhelo", kodwa kusekho utshintsho olubukhali kuyo yonke inkalo yobomi - oku kukuxininisa kakhulu.
Unokusinda njani ukuphazamiseka kobudlelwane kunye nesithandwa sakho okanye umyeni wakho othandekayo?
Iingcali zengqondo ziqaphela ukuba imiphumo emibi kakhulu ingabangela ukuphazanyiswa kobudlelwane obude sele bubekwe, ubuhlobo bexesha elide, ngakumbi xa yonke into ibonakala kakuhle kwaye iindaba ezifunekayo ukuba uyingxenye zikhunjulwe njengebhanti evela eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka. Ewe, into elula kule meko yowomntu owenze lesi sigqibo, kuba oku kukhethwe nguye, ngaphandle koko, ngokuqinisekileyo uyaqwalaselwa. Kodwa yintoni ehleliyo ukuyenza kumntu owahlala kwisiqhekeza esiphukileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo engayi kubalalele inkululeko engeyomfuneko kuye? Ungaphila njani ukulwa kobudlelwane?
Into ephambili kukukhumbula - akukho mntu uza kuza kwaye enze ubomi bakho buvuyiswe ngawe. Ixesha lugqirha omkhulu, kodwa nokho awukwazi ukuhlala ungaboni. Ngokungafani namadoda, kulula ukuba kuthiwa, ngabafazi - okokuqala unokumemeza kunye namantombazana athembekileyo okanye ukuqhuba unyango olubanzi lwezothenga. Akunjalo, ngaba ungathandabuzi ngokubanzi ukuba ngaba amadoda afumana ukuphulaphula ubudlelwane? Kwaye! Azinalo i-iron-barbed-they have different ways!
Ewe, yintoni? Masibe sesifanayo, makhe sihlale kwiinkcukacha ngendlela abantu abava ngayo ukuphuka phakathi kobudlelwane phakathi kwamadoda.
Vumelana - le ngongoma ebalulekileyo! Ukuba akushiye kwaye akayinto elula kwaye enomnandi, kuya kuba lula ukuba umxolele, nangona kungabonakali kakuhle. Ukuba usaphumile, kufuneka uqonde indlela engcono yokulahla into engenakukugweba yecala. Ngokubanzi, nakhona, ukhetho lunokwenzeka.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, abaninzi abantu basasazeka ngokukhawuleza, bayakwazi ukunyamezela ikhefu okanye ukwahlukanisa, kwaye ngokukhawuleza baya kutshata, nangona banokuqhubeka bekholelwa ukuba uyona mhle! Kodwa abanye babo baya kuhamba nokudakumba nokuphazamiseka. Kwaye kulo mzekelo, amadoda angadlulela ngakumbi kunabesifazane: emva koko, ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuxhatshazwa kwindoda kufuneka kugcinwe ngokwakho okanye kudibene ebhotile. Ukongezelela, emva kokuphuka kobudlelwane, kungabonakala ukuba ayikho abahlobo bakhe abanalo, kodwa kukho iingxaki ezininzi zasekhaya, kodwa akukho bani oza kuxhasa kunye nenkxaso. Ewe, unokusinda njani ulwalamano lwakho kwaye ungasayi kunxila? Ngaphandle kokuba uhambe ngekhanda emsebenzini.
Kwaye kukho abo abade bakwazi ukudala ubudlelwane obutsha kumlotha, nangona kubonakala ngathi baye baphenduka ngokuqhelekileyo kumtshato, nangomdla. Kodwa ngokugqithiseleyo kwexesha kwagqitywa ukuba ukuphepha okufunwayo kwimihla ngemihla, uxanduva kunye noxanduva lobomi bentsapho alisoloko luhambelana nomgaqo wendoda wenkululeko, ebonakala ngathi iholide eqhubekayo kunye nokukhetha okungenamkhawulo kwabasetyhini abangaqhelekanga. Le yinto ebizwa ngokuba yi "syndrome yenyanga yeshumi elinesixhenxe". Kwaye ke kumntu ongeyiphupha elingenakwenziwe, ukuba uphelele ukuhlukana kobudlelwane, o, unokunceda njani isazi sengqondo se-psychologist.
Ewe, amadoda angamadoda, kodwa kufuneka sicinge ngathi!
Iindlela zethu zokusindiswa kokuphulukana kobudlelwane besikhathi eside aziyi kuba yintlandlolo, kodwa akukona okokuqala, kodwa ukusebenza kakuhle, akunjalo?
Into yokuqala okufuneka uyiqonde kukuba ubomi buqhubeka. Ewe kuya kuba bubomi obuhluke ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ukungabi nalutho kufuneka kuzame ukuzalisa ukufaneleka. Ingaba yiklabhu, intshukumo yokuzivolontiya, iklasi yokuzilibazisa - into eya kukuphazamisa kwiingcinga ezibuhlungu nezibuhlungu. Ukongezelela, oku kuyingqungquthela esitsha esipheleleyo yabantu, abantu abayidingi ukuxelela ukuba kutheni uwedwa ngoku.
Ukuba unesidingo sokunyamekela, kodwa akukho bantwana okanye ukhulile - fumana isilwanyana. Ngeenja, umzekelo, ukuzodwa ngethuba lokuhamba akuyi kuba namava kakhulu.
Ukuba ngaba abantwana, ke, ngakwinye icala, kwiingxaki zakho, indlela yokusinda ekunqandeni ubudlelwane kunye nomyeni wakhe, iingxaki zabo zingongezwa, kwaye kwenye - awuyedwa! Unomntu onokunyamekela, ukuba ngubani ohlala kuyo!
Kwimeko nayiphi na into, awukwazi ukuhamba endleleni yokumangalela okanye umlingane wakho wangaphambili kuzo zonke izinto ezinzulu. Enyanisweni, azikho ezo zininzi iziganeko eziqhekezayo zokungaqabane. Ngoko ke, akufanele uhlanganyele ekufumaneni kwakho kwaye uzigwebe ngenxa yento yonke wena okanye umntu oye wafumana amava amaninzi, kwaye wahlala emacaleni eminyaka, efumana abantwana.
Yaye ukuba kunzima ukuba ukwazi ukujamelana nemiphumo emibi ngokwakho-ungayeki uncedo lwabahlobo okanye ootitshala. Musa ukuzivala kunye neendonga ezine!