Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho imeko xa kuvela umbuzo, yintoni omele ukwenze ukulibala umhlobo wakho? Izizathu zokwahlukana zingahluka, kodwa ekugqibeleni kuyimfuneko ukudibanisa nembono yokuba le ndoda ayisekho endleleni. Iingcebiso zeengqondo ziza kukuxelela indlela yokulibala umhlobo wakho kwaye kukuncede unqobe ukuhlukana lula.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukulibala umntu omthandayo?
Ngethuba lokuqala emva kokuhlukana, onke amaphupha kunye neengcamango zenziwa kuphela kuye. Kuyo yonke indawo ikhumbuza ubudlelwane obuqhekekileyo: izipho, umculo, indawo yokuphumla kunye nezinye izinto ezininzi. Ezi zikhumbuzo zibuhlungu kakhulu, zenza iinyembezi kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba, ngoko kuyimfuneko ukuyeka ukubandezeleka kwakho ngokukhawuleza, ukuqala ukuhlala namhlanje. Ukulibala umntu othandekayo kunokwenzeka, kuba oku kubalulekile ukwazi indlela yokutshibela ukuthanda uthando, ukuze inkqubo yokwahlukana ibe yintlungu.
Yintoni endiyenzayo ukuba ndiyilibale othandekayo?
Ngokuqinisekileyo akufuneki ukucima intlungu yakho kwiwayini. Utywala luya kunceda nje okwethutyana ukunciphisa intlungu, kodwa ayiyi kusombulula ingxaki ngokwayo. Akufanele ukhangele intombi intlungu, kuba esikhundleni sokuphuma kwimeko yokudakumba, uya kuphuma kuyo. Musa ukusekela kumasiko omlingo, kuba isiphumo sabo sinokungathandabuzeki. Kuze kube namhlanje, kwengqondo, kukho uluhlu lwezenzo ezithile ezijoliswe ekuqondeni indlela yokulibala umhlobo.
Okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukwamukelwa ukuba akukho nto iya kuqhubeka ukulwa nalo mntu, kodwa akukho mnqweno wokuba uhlupheke kuwe. Okwesibini, kubalulekile ukususa indawo yobomi bakho obutsha. Unokucinga indlela eninzi ongayilindela ngayo kwixesha elizayo, ukuba ulawule ubudlelwane obungadingekile entloko yakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo phambi kobunzima bezinto ezinolwazi olutsha, ukuhamba, ukukhula komsebenzi, izifundo ezinomdla okanye ubomi bentsapho kunye nomnye umntu. Qala ubomi obutsha kuya kunceda kuphela ukukhanyela ngokukhawuleza ubomi obudlulileyo. Kubalulekile ukulahla bonke oonxibelelwano, izinto kunye nezipho, nokuba kunzima kangakanani.
Okwesithathu, kubalulekile ukufumana izigqibo ngokuziphendula yona imibuzo: "Wenzani lo mntu ebomini bam?", "Kutheni wadibana endleleni?", "Bandixelele ntoni lo buhlobo?" Kwaye nabanye abaninzi. Ukuba awufumani izigqibo, imeko ingahle ibuye. Emva koko, kukufanele ukufumana icala elingalunganga lomntu owayesithandayo ngaphambili. Ubudlelwane abukwazi ukuba buhle, zama ukukhumbula iziganeko xa ukhubazekile, ungathandeki okanye ungakhathazeki. Abasetyhini abaninzi, abangawunaki lo mgaqo, bahlala bekhumbula kuphela izinto ezilungileyo, kwaye ngenxa yoko banokuthandana nothando olungenakunqwenela iminyaka.
Ungamlibala njani umntu, ukuba uyayithanda ngempela?
Mxelele kuye, inxalenye yexesha lakho elidlulileyo, akukho nto. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba akukho ndawo yokufumana ubuhlobo obutsha obuhle, ngoxa abantu abadala beentliziyo. Kubalulekile ukunamathela kumgaqo wokuba yonke into iyenzeka kuphela.
Unokuzama ukuphazamiseka ngokuzibandakanya ngokwento entsha kunye nomdla. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka udibanise emsebenzini ukusuka entloko ukuya enzwaneni, kufuneka ube phakathi kwabantu, wenze into engavamile. Oku kungenziwa umdlalo omtsha, ukuzonwabisa, ukuhamba nokunye njalo. Nayiphi na ingxaki yindlela nje yamathuba amatsha.
Iyeza elona lililo lixesha elifanayo. Ukuba uvumela ukuhamba kwimeko ngokubhukuda kwamahhala, ixesha liya kuthatha i-helm. Akukho nkathazo eyenzekayo, enye enye isigaba sokuphila idlulileyo, kwaye kusekho amanyathelo amaninzi ngaphambili, anokufikelela kuphela ngokuthatha isinyathelo esithembekileyo.