Kungekudala ebomini bakho kwakukho uvuyo, uthando, ububele. Kwaye akukho nto. Uqhekeza nomphefumlo wakho umlingane, kwaye ebomini bakho kwakungekho nto. Konke oku kuya kuhlala xa uhlala kwaye ungenzi nto. Ukubuyisa yonke into, kufuneka usebenze.
Indlela yokubuyisela umfana emva kokuhlukana, ukuba umqali wokuhlukana nguwe?
Kubalulekile ukumisela umntu umhlangano kwaye uzama ukuchaza izizathu zesenzo sakho. Akukhona nje ukuba ugqibe ekubeni uthathe isinyathelo esinjalo. Ukunyaniseka kubalulekile apha. Xoxa ngawo onke amaxesha obunzima kwaye uzame ukufumana ukuzithengisa, ukwenzela ukuba le meko ayenzeki kwakhona. Ukuba umntu unemvakalelo enzulu kuwe, uya kuqonda yonke into aze abuye.
Indlela yokubuyisela umfana emva kokuhlukana, ukuba umqali wokuhlukana nguye?
Kule meko, yonke into yinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Kubalulekile ukuxuba zonke izizathu ezikhoyo zezenzo zakhe kwaye uzame ukulungisa zonke iimpazamo. Ukuba iphoso lakho alikho apha, tshintsha umfanekiso kunye nendlela yokuziphatha. Zama ukufikelela ekuthandeni ngokubanzi phakathi kwabahlobo. Mhlawumbi kukho ithuba lokuqhubela phambili emsebenzini okanye ukuba uhluke kwizifundo. Yenza umfanekiso ongayi kuba nomona kuphela ngumfazi, kodwa nayo indoda. Umfana wakho wesibini kufuneka aqonde ukuba ngubani olahlekileyo.
Ukuba ufuna ukubuyela kumntu wangaphambili, thintela ukwenza ezi mpazamo zilandelayo:
- yenza kuphela njengoko umfana efuna, ngokuchasene neemfuno zakhe;
- soloko ewela endleleni yakhe, emsukela ngamabomu;
- ukuzenza njengowesifazane obumnandi;
- kuzo zonke iindlela ezingabonakaliyo zokungqina kuye ukubaluleka kokubuyela kuwe;
- ukwenza izipho eziqhelekileyo;
- ukukhathazeka ngamazwi okuqaphela;
- Ungayisebenzisi kwimibono yakho yeenqwelo zabanye, umntu ngamnye ngumntu ngamnye kwaye indlela eya kuyo nganye iyimfuneko;
- Ukuba uthe wanquma ukuzilinganisa, ungalindelanga ixesha elide, okanye mhlawumbi ungasekho.
Ungabuyisela njani umfana?
Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe naziphi na izenzo ezenzelwe ukubuyela kumntu, kufuneka uqaphele amanani ambalwa. Uya kufuneka uxolele zonke izono zakhe, nokuba ngaba ziyimbangela yesithuba. Wena, njengomqali wokuvuselela ubudlelwane, kuya kufuneka wenze ukulungelelanisa okukhulu, okwangokwenyama kwengqondo. Kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba unemvakalelo onokuyakha ukuze uxolelane. Ngaphandle koko, akukho nto ekucingeni ukuba ungayifumana njani inkwenkwe yangaphambili. Emva kwakho konke, udinga ulwalamano olusisiseko, kungekhona i-parody yazo.
Ukuba uqala ukucinga malunga nendlela yokubuyisela umfana ngqo emva kokulwa, musa ukukhawuleza. Ingqalelo ngokucokisekileyo kufuneka uhlaziye iimvakalelo zakho, ukuba unayo le nto ayiyonto yokuqala yokuthandana kwaye akuyiyo inxaxheba yokuqala. Emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa zokuqala emva kokuxabana okukhulu phakathi kwabathandiyo yonke into ibonakala ngokukhanya okumnyama kunokuba kunjalo. Musa ukuthatha amanyathelo angenangqondo kunye neengcinga. Skrola ngomfanekiso wekhefu kunye nazo zonke izihlandlo ezidlulileyo. Cinga malunga nokuba ufuna ukuphinda uqalise zonke ezi ngxaki.
Akufanele ucinge nangendlela yokubuyisela umntu emva kokungcatshiswa, ngaphandle kokuba awukwazi ukulibala
Ukuba utshintshile, ngoko imeko iyanzima kakhulu. Bonke abantu bangabanikazi bendawo, kwaye baninzi nangothando. Zibeke endaweni yakhe uze ucinge ngezinto aza kuyenza ukuze abuyele. Bese ukwandisa zonke ezi zenzo ngamabini, okanye ezintathu.
Indlela yokubuyisela uthando lomntu wangaphambili, ngaphandle kokuba uyitshintshile:
- nangayiphi na indlela, menze alalele iinkcazelo zakho;
- ukuba kunokwenzeka, fumana isizathu sezenzo zakho;
- Bonisa ukuba unobungozi kwaye udliwa yimvakalelo yecala kunye neentloni;
- emva kokuba ulwalamano luye lwaphinda luqaliswe, vumela ukuthembela kwakho kwakhona kwakhona ngosuku;
- ungaphinda uphinde uphinde wenze le mpazamo.