Ngamaqhinga, kodwa kuzo zonke izinto ezichasene nendoda nomfazi, zixhomekeka kakhulu. Ngokomzekelo, amaninzi amantombazana ayesaba ukuba indoda yakhe iyamoyika ukutshata, kwaye izama ukumnyanzela ukuba athathe isinyathelo esibalulekileyo-ukudala intsapho kunye nokutshata, nangona kwiminyaka emibini yomtshato, isiqingatha esihle sazo zibini asiyikuneliseka ngesigqibo sabo, kwaye abanye baze batshate " kwiihlalo. " Nangona kunjalo, siya kuzama ukuqonda i-psychology yesintu, ukuze sivalele kwintanda ethandekayo ngokukhawuleza ukuphakanyiswa kwesandla kunye nentliziyo.
Kutheni abantu besaba ukutshata?
Kwimeko enkulu, ukwesaba owesilisa ngomtshato kusekelwe kwiingcali:
Inkolelo yenombolo 1. Umtshato "ububhubhiso" ubomi bobulili. Uninzi lwezibini ziba neengxaki ngeentlukwano kwixesha, kodwa oku kungabonwa njengesinye isizathu sokuzama.
Enyanisweni. Ubukhulu becala buyekelela ekukhululeni, kuba iqabane elihlala likuvumela ukuba uphile ngaphandle kokuxhalabisa ngezifo ezahlukahlukeneyo zesini, kwaye kukuvumela ukuba ungathethi ngokuphathelele iminqweno yakho, ukuba iqabane lakho linokwenene.
Inkolelo yenombolo 2. Ucinga ukuba ngoku kuya kufuneka asebenze amaxesha amaninzi ukuxhasa umfazi wakhe nabantwana.
Enyanisweni. Abafazi bayazi nendlela yokusebenza, kwaye abanye (abasetyhini ababalaseleyo) baye bakwazi ukuphazamisa iqabane labo kwingeniso. Intsapho iyinkuthazo ebalulekileyo yokufikelela eziphakamileyo zomsebenzi kunye nesimo esihle kuluntu: ngaphambili indoda iyaqonda ukuba kufuneka ibenze phezulu, ibe ngcono, yokuqala, kuye.
Inkolelo yenombolo yesithathu. Uloyiko lokuba intsapho iya kumthabatha ixesha lakhe elixabisekileyo.
Enyanisweni. Oko kwakufuneka akwenze phambi kwakhe, ngoku uya kwenza abantu ababini: bahlambe izitya, bahlambulule kwindlu, balungise, bapheke, njl. Ngokusasazwa kweemfanelo, unako ukukhulula ixesha kungekhona nje "lokulala embhedeni", "ukudlala imidlalo," "ukujongana nebhola," nokuba udibanise nomfazi kunye nabantwana bakhe.
Ngenxa yoko, umbuzo othi "amadoda afuna ukutshata" ngumpendulo ongenakwenzeka, bafuna, kodwa bayesaba uxanduva kunye nokunyanzeliswa kokunyaniseka inkululeko yabo.
Amadoda afuna ukutshata bani nawaphi na amantombazana abayithathi njengabafazi?
Bathi umntu ukhetha umfazi obonakala njengonina. Oku kuyinyaniso, kodwa kungekhona kuzo zonke iimeko, masizibale.
Ziziphi iintombi ezitshatileyo?
- inyaniso yokuba amantombazana amantombazana kunye nobuhle bafumana abafazi babo, abayaziyo ukumbamba isiphambano kunye nokubhaka ii-pie ezidliwayo - bekudala kungekudala. Khangela uze ukhangele umfazi ophelileyo: baninzi kakhulu kubo;
- Umntu wokuqala oza kutshata ngumantombazana okhululekile, onokuzithemba kunye nentombazana eyaziwayo, azihlali nabo bonke abafana egcekeni, kwaye ngexesha elifanayo banobungane kwaye bavulelekile ukunxibelelana. Ukuba umfazi uyazi indlela yokufumana abantu kuye - kulula ukuba atshade;
- Abantu be-PR - omnye udidi lwamantombazana onokukhawuleza "ukuphuma ngaphandle" atshate. Abakhanyanga ngengqondo, banesidingo esiphezulu sedatha, kodwa ezo zinto zizintle, bayazi ukuvakalisa ukuba loo nto icinga ukuba: "Ewe ngu Elena Elena ohlakaniphileyo kwiindalana zamantombazana ukuba ugogo wamfundele ebuntwaneni!".
Ziziphi iintombi ezingatshatanga?
Ubomi bentsapho obuninzi buhlala bubuncwane obukhohlakeleyo abakholelwa ukuba zenziwe kuphela kubaphathi kunye nookumkani. Kwinqanaba elifanayo, abo bafazi abathanda kakhulu inkululeko kwaye abanako ukuphazamisa: akukho mntu wangempela uya kuxolelana kunye neyona nto elandelayo kuye ayiyindoda ephosakeleyo, kodwa yindoda yangempela kwimikhankaso ekhokelela kunye nemiyalelo yokuthobela.
Kuthiwani ukuba loo mntu akafuni ukutshata?
Ukuba umntu akakwazi "ukuvuthwa" kwisinyathelo esibalulekileyo, ngoko ufuna uncedo kulo.
- Indlela yokukholisa umntu ukuba atshate? Okokuqala kufuneka uzame ukumkholisa, kodwa ngenxa yeengxoxo ezilungileyo, fumana izizathu zangempela zalo mkhuba. Umoyiko wokulahlekelwa yinkululeko? Emva koko xelela ngokuphindaphindiweyo, mangaphi amathuba okuvulwa phambi kwakhe emtshatweni.
- Indlela yokwenza indoda ifune ukutshata? Ukuba umntu uthanda kakhulu kwaye ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumfazi wakhe, ngoko unokumchazela ukuba umtshato ubaluleke kakhulu, kwaye ukuba kuthatha ixesha elide ukuba "ugqibe", izindlela zakho zingasasazeka.
- Indlela yokuphosa umntu ukuba atshate? Ukunyanzelisa umtshato kukukhupha. Amabali ngokukhulelwa kwengqungquthela yee-TV zeBrazil -
ukusuka kuloluhlu, kodwa bawukhetho olubi, njengokuba amanga ayakha ukwakha ulonwabo. Ukuphosa indoda kumtshato kunokuphela kweemeko zangempela: kungekhona ukukhulelwa okuqingqiweyo, ukutshatyalaliswa kwexesha elide ukusuka kumthandi okanye ukhuphiswano olunzulu.
Nangona kunjalo, nangona umnqweno onamandla wokutshata, umfazi kufuneka akhumbule esinye isaga esilumkileyo: "Ukutshata akufanele kuhlasele, njengokungathi ukutshata akufanele kuchithe." Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba umtshato awufanele uphele ngokwawo, kukuthi, ngaphezu kwakho konke, isizathu sokuchitha ubomi bomntu omnye.