Ukuze ufezekise iinjongo ezibekiweyo, kufuneka uqiniseke kuwe nakwizakhono zakho, misela; kodwa musa ukudibanisa injongo kunye nenkani. Ngaphandle kwezi zimpawu zobuntu, kunzima ukufezekisa impumelelo efunwayo. Ukunyamezela kunye nemigudu iya kuba yintlonelo, ukuba, emva kokuphelelwa komntu, iyayeka. Ngoko ke, ukuzithemba nokuqinisekiswa kuyimfuneko ukuphumeza nokuphucula iziphumo. Kodwa apha into eyona nto kukuba nomqondo wokulinganisela kunye nokuqonda. Emva koko, ukuzithemba ngokweqile kungonakalisa, kuba inokuthi iguguke kwi-narcissism engapheliyo.
Ukunyamezela kuyinto enzima
Ukunxibelelana kunye nentsebenziswano nabantu, kubalulekile ukuba bakwazi ukufumana ukunyaniseka. Kwaye ubukho nokubonakaliswa kwimeko yobunkani bangela imbambano. Ngokwenene, abantu abanenkani banomdla obunzima. Abafuni ukuhamba phambili, kodwa yimani ngokuzithemba, ningathandi ukuphulaphula enye imbono yokujonga. Oku kulandelwa yi-whims kunye nenkani. Abantu abadala abanjalo abanalo kubo, kodwa ngokuchaseneyo, baxolise. Oku kungonakalisa kakhulu kwaye kwonakalise idumela lomntu onzulu. Emva koko umbuzo onengqiqo uvela: "Indlela yokujongana nenkani"?
Ukungabikho kokusebenza kwengqondo
Ukusombulula nayiphi na ingxaki oyifunayo ukufumana isizathu sayo. Ngokwenene, "abantu abanenkani" ngonaphakade ngenxa yokungafuni ukuvumelanisa neembono ezahlukeneyo zabo. Umntu akaqapheli izisombululo ezahlukeneyo kwingxaki. Uyeka kuphela kwindawo yokujonga kwaye akayi kubona enye inokwenzeka. Ngenxa yoko, izizathu eziqhelekileyo zobuntshutshiso, inkani:
- ukuzithemba ngakumbi. Xa lakho "I" lidlula nantoni na enye.
- ngokuchasene ngokupheleleyo nesizathu sangaphambili-umnqweno wokuzimela. Abantu abangakhuselekanga bafuna ukwenza oku ngentlawulo yabanye. Abanye abantu bayifumana. Ngokomzekelo, ngokunyaniseka komntu omnye ixesha elide, abantu abamjikelezile bayavumelana naye. Indoda enenkani ifezekisa injongo yakhe, ifumana ingqalelo ebalulekileyo kunye nemvakalelo yokunqoba.
- "Ubuwula buqhelekileyo." Ngamanye amaxesha, abantu abanolwazi olungapheliyo, banengqiqo encinci kwaye abakwazi ukuphulaphula abanye, qaphela uninzi lwezikhetho. Banelisekile ngombono wabo kwaye bayakukhusela ngokuzithemba.
- imfuneko yokuqwalasela. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka kwaye kungekhona ebuntwaneni. Olu hlobo luyakwazi ukubonwa kumsebenzi oqokelelweyo, xa umqeshwa ongenalucalulo eqala ukunyanzelisa imigaqo yakhe ngokukhawuleza.
Kukho uluhlu lwemisebenzi, indlela yokulahla inkani:
- Zibeke kwindawo yomntu ophikisana naye. Mhlawumbi, ziqaphele izinto ezininzi ezithakazelisayo ezingazange zibonwe ngaphambili.
- Unomdla kwiimbono zabanye abantu. Emva koko uza kufumana enye indlela.
- Yiya kwi-compromise. Xa usenza oku kanye, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukwenza enye kwenye.
- Zama ukuqonda omnye umntu.
- Cinga ukuba kutheni le nto umhlobo wakho akucebisa ngayo. Mhlawumbi ikulungele, inenzuzo kwaye inenzuzo?
- Khangela umbuzo kwii-angles ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye isisombululo kwingxaki sisuka kwinqanaba elithile.
- Yiba nenjongo.
- Ungakhokelwa ngumsindo, kodwa ngesizathu.
- Musa ukucinga ukuba ukuba utshintshe umbono wakho ngezinto ezithile, ngoko ulahlekelwa. Hayi, ngokuchaseneyo! Oku kuthetha ukuba ube ngumqili, ukhule kwaye uthuthuke. Musa ukuyihlazo.
- Khumbula, ukuvuma iimpazamo zakho akuyihlazo.
Ungayinqoba njani kwaye unqobe ubunkani?
Ukuba umnxibelelwano wakho ubonisa ukuphikelela kunye nobunzima, ngoko:
- Hlalani nizolile! Oku kubaluleke kakhulu.
- Cinga, mhlawumbi uphikisana into efanayo?
- Musa ukuphendula kummangaleli. Musa ukulandela indoda enenkani.
- Mxelele ukuba uva uluvo lwakhe. Mcele ukuba aqaphele lakho. Mhlawumbi iinjongo zovavanyo ziya kumphoqa ukuba akhangele imeko ukusuka kwelinye icala.