Indlela yokuphumelela nokuzithemba? Kulo maninzi lwabasetyhini banamhlanje, le ngxaki ingaphezulu kokufanelekileyo. Jonga ngapha kwaye uza kubona amaninzi, okanye ngamakhulu, amantombazana amadala kunye neegrey egugile, azaliswe ngobomi kunye negrey, ngokulangazelela kunye nokungabi nalutho emehlweni abo. "Yisiphi isizathu kwaye kutheni bazingenisa ubomi obunjalo?" - uyazibuza. Impendulo ilula - ininzi yabo inokuzithemba kakhulu ukwenzela ukuba bahlale bebathandana nabo, bayeke ukuba ngamaxhoba kwiimeko baze bahlangabezane nempumelelo. Ukuba unenkxalabo ngemini ngemibuzo yokujongana nokuzithoba, ngoko icebiso elivela kweli nqaku liya kunceda ukujonga wena kunye nezicwangciso zakho ezivela kwelinye icala.
Indlela yokuphakamisa intlonelo yowesifazane wesimanje?
Ukuqala, kanye kunye nonke ukhumbule ukuba ukuzithemba okuphantsi akusiyo isifo, kwaye kuya kunceda ukulungiswa. Kwaye ukuba ufumene kwiisethi ezininzi, kunye nezihlandlo zokugxekwa ngumntu wakho, kuthetha ukuba ebomini bakho kwakukho umhlaba omhle ukuba bavuke. Jonga kwimemori yakho uze uzame ukucacisa izizathu zokuzibuza kwakho.
Ngokomzekelo, sibhala iindawo eziqhelekileyo zazo:
- Ukunxibelelana nabazali ebuntwaneni. Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba ezininzi iingxaki zethu zivela ebuntwaneni. Kwaye kumbuzo othi: "Indlela yokwandisa ukuzithemba?" I-Psychology inikeza, okokuqala, ukujonga kwixesha layo elidlulileyo. Abantwana, njengentonga, bathabatha nawaphi na amagama abazali ababhekiswe kubo. Yaye ukuba umntwana uyava ukugxeka, ngoko uyayithatha njengesiqhelo, kwaye xa ekhulile akacingeki ukuba mhlawumbi ufanelekile. Enye iphutha elingahambiyo ligama elithi "kufanele" elifunyanwa ngabazali abaninzi. Kufuneka ube ngumntu ohlakaniphile, njengabazali, ukulungele ukufunda, njl Ngenxa yoko, umntu uvelisa ukwesaba ukungazikholisa abanye kunye nobuninzi bezinye iindawo ezinzima.
- Ukuxhomekeka kwimibono yabanye. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kunzima kangakanani umntu ukuba azame ukufikelela phambili, kuya kubakho abo baqala ukumgxeka baze bazame ukumnciphisa. Ukuba umntu uvame ukuphulaphula uluvo lwabantu abangaziwayo - oku kusongela ukunciphisa ukuzithemba kwakhe.
- Ukubaluleka kwisiganeko esibi. Kukho imeko ezonakalisa ukholo lwethu kuthi kunye neetalente zethu. Oku kukhokelela ekungatshitshweni kokuzithemba. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uzityhalela ukuhlukana kumntu wakho othandekayo, ukuzikhukhumeza nokuzithemba kwakho kuya kuwela phantsi.
- Ibha engaphezulu kwemisebenzi ebalulekileyo. Abanye abantu ekuphandeleni impumelelo babeka iinjongo ezingaphezu kwamandla abo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, isizathu sifutshane ukuba singafikeleli. Ngokwemvelo, ukungabi nento abayifunayo, bayeke ukukholwa ngokwabo kunye namandla abo.
Ngenhlanhla, namhlanje umntu unolwazi olwaneleyo ukuxelela indlela yokujongana nokuzithoba. Iza kunika lula zonke iindidi zeencwadi, izifundo, ukuqeqeshwa kunye nokucebisa iingcali zeengqondo. Ukuba unomdla wokukhawuleza ukwandisa ukuzithemba, iindlela ezilula ziya kukunceda, ezingasetyenziswa ngokuzimela, ekhaya.
Indlela yokwandisa ukuzithemba kwakho?
Okokuqala, kufuneka uqaphele kanye kunye nazo zonke - iingxaki zakho ngokuzithemba azikho nje indlela yokucinga eye yaba ngumkhwa. Usetyenziselwa ukungakholelwa kuwe, usetyenziswa ukucinga ukuba awukwazi ukuhlangabezana nayo, njl. Okwangoku, ubomi bethu bonke yimiphumo yeengcamango zethu. Ngoko, zonke iindlela zokwandisa ukuzithemba, kufuneka zisekelwe ekutshintsheni iingcamango zakho. Kwaye kufuneka uqale ngokutshintsha i-algorithm yokucinga. Nantsi indlela eyenzeka ngayo:
- ujongene nesimo esithile;
- uyihlalutya kwaye uyicingisise ngayo;
- unesimo sengqondo esithile kwimeko;
- uqala ukuziphatha ngokuhambelana neengcamango zakho neemvakalelo zakho.
Ukutshintsha uqeqesho lwesimo sengqondo kunye nokwenza le-algorithm isebenze ukwandisa ukuzithemba, sebenzisa isicwangciso senzathelo esiye salinceda ukuphendula umbuzo wendlela yokwandisa ukuzithemba kwintombazana:
- Ukuvuka kwansuku zonke uze ulale ngamehlo: "Ndifana nam, kwaye ndiyithanda ngale ndlela."
- Phakade ukhohlwe isiqalo esithi "CHA". Xelela: "Ndiyifanele!", "Ndiyakwazi!", "Ndiya kwenza!"
- Musa ukuzithethelela nakubani na kwizenzo zakho. Qiniseka ukuba wenza konke okulungileyo, nokuba umntu akathandi. Ubomi bakho kunye nembono yakho.
- Yeka ukuziqhathanisa nabanye. Musa ukubheka ukuba umntu wenza into engcono kunakho. Kweminye indawo, iitalente zakho zininzi ngokubanzi. Kholelwa kuyo.
- Jonga wena kunye nesigqoko sakho. Phonsa zonke iimpawu ezimnyama kunye nezingavamile. Jonga ngefashoni, ngokuqhelekileyo uye kwiidonons ezihle. Yenza umkhuba wakho wokucinga ukuba ufanelekile, njengoMongameli wenene.
- Musa ukunika wonke umntu kwabanye. Nokuba ngaba bangabantwana bakho nomyeni. Izihlobo zakho ziya kuneliseka xa zifumana isidlo esilula kunye nomama onomusa ngaphezu kokutya kobukhosi kunye ne-women's tired and angry-yaga.
- Zithokoze ngazo zonke izenzo ezilungileyo malunga nawe. Hlela iiholide ze-mini zomphefumlo wakho nomzimba. Zikhuthaze, zithethe amagama anyuse ukuzithemba, kwaye uya kufumana ukuvisisana kwangaphakathi.
- Funda ukulahla iingcamango ezimbi, ngokukhawuleza ukuba zikwazi ukuza engqondweni yakho. Ubomi bethu yinto esiyicinga ngayo. Zivumene nazo zonke iingxaki. Kancinci baya kuba ziimpawu zakho, kwaye mhlawumbi ubalaseleyo, apho uya kuthandwa ngabanye. Kwaye into ephambili kukuba wena uza kuqala ukuzithandayo.