Yenziwe! Iintsuku ezimbalwa zokuvalelwa ngokutsha, ukugula kunye nokuqhelanisa kubangele imivimbo emibini ekuvavanyeni. Ingaba ukukhulelwa kwakulindelwe ixesha elide, okanye liwile njengebhotti ebomvu, nokuba kunjani na ukuya kutshatyalaliswa nawuphi na umfazi. Kwaye ukutshitshiswa ngakumbi kuya kubonwa zizihlobo. Apha ke kunzima kunzima. Ndingabaxelela njani abazali bam malunga nokukhulelwa? Yintoni eya kuthathwa ngayo? Ukwesaba, ukwethuka nokungakholelwa kwinto eyenzekayo kukuba iimvakalelo ezenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuthatha inyathelo lokuqala kwincoko. Kodwa kufuneka wenze njalo. Njani kwaye nini? Makhe sizame ukuphendula le mibuzo size sinike iingcebiso ezixabisekileyo.
Indlela yokuxelela umama nobaba malunga nokukhulelwa?
Ngaphambi kokuba uphawule malunga nendlela yokuxelela abazali bakho ukuba ukhulelwe, kufuneka uziqonde. Ubudala apha abudlali nxaxheba. Into ephambili kukuba isigqibo sokuba ngumntwana okanye ukuba angabi. Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba isisu sisono esikhulu. Ukongezelela, ukuba ukukhulelwa kukuqala, kukho umngcipheko omkhulu wokungabi nabantwana nhlobo. Ngoko ke, into ephambili kuqala kukuzikhethela ukuba uvakalelwa njani malunga nemeko yakho. Ngaba ulungele ukuba ngumama? Yintoni eya kutshintsha ngokubonakala komntwana kwaye ulungele ukulibala ngoncedo lwezicwangciso zobomi ngenxa yengxaki yomntwana wexesha elizayo? Ngelishwa, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ngobuncinci kunye nobuthakathaka, utata womntwana uphelela ngokukhawuleza ngaphaya komda, ukubeka yonke imizamo kumagxa omama ozayo. Kwaye amaninzi amantombazana ayesaba le nyaniso. Kule meko ukuxelela njani izihlobo malunga nokukhulelwa? Okokuqala, kufuneka wenze isicwangciso esicacileyo sezenzo zakho, ungakhathazeki, uze uzame ukulinganisa yonke into. Kuze kube nini ungalibali ixesha lomncoko, kuya kuqhubeka. Kwaye ubuncinci ngandlela-thile ukhupha intloko yakho yeengcamango ezinzima, laphula ezinye iingcebiso:
- Ukuze uqonde indlela yokuxelela abazali malunga nokukhulelwa, kufuneka uzinqume ukuba uhlala ukhulelwe okanye cha. Le nyaniso iya kudlala indima ebalulekileyo kwingxoxo yakho. Zama ukuchaza ngokucacileyo ukuba uza kufumana imfundo, velisa umntwana, umsebenzi, njl. Khumbula ukuba kunzima kakhulu kwiminyaka emibili yokuqala yobomi bentsana. Emva koko uya ku-kindergarten, kwaye ezininzi iingxaki ziya kuxazululwa ngokwazo.
- Khumbula ukuba ukusabela kokuqala kwiindaba ezichazelayo kuya kuphazamiseka. Musa ukugijimela abazali ngezigqibo kunye nokwenza izigqibo. Ukuba uhlala nabo, iya kuba yintetho eyahlukileyo, ibuza ukuba ingaba kukunondla ngentsana.
- Ukucinga ngendlela yokuxelela umama wakho ngokukhulelwa, ungesabi nantoni na. Nguye kuphela onokukuqonda njengowesifazane. Kwimeko nayiphi na ubudlelwane obunayo, kuya kuhlala kukuxhasa kwaye iya kuba kwicala lakho. Xa kwenzeka ukuba ubudlelwane nomama abuhle kakhulu, kulindeleke ukuba uya kukuthumela ukuba ukhuphe isisu. Kodwa isigqibo sokugqibela siya kuba sakho. Ngokwenza oko kubonakaliswa - xa umntwana ezalwa, uba yintandokazi yendalo yonke, kwaye nayiphi na ingxabano iyakumisa.
- Ekubeni uxelele abazali bakho ukuba ukhulelwe akuyona into elula, zibeke ngokwakho ukuba kukho naluphi na ukutshitshiswa okumalunga nomyalezo onjalo kubangelwa oko bakukhathazayo malunga nawe nekamva lakho. Abazali abasondeleyo awusoze waba ngumntu omnye. Ngoko ke, iingcebiso zabo zilungele ukuphulaphula, musa ukuba nenkani kwaye niqonde ukuba bafuna kuphela okulungileyo. Zibeke kwindawo yazo, kwaye uya kuqonda ngokukhawuleza indlela abazizwa ngayo.
- Kwintetho kufuneka ukhethe umzuzu ofanelekileyo. Into engcono kakhulu ukuyithetha malunga neemeko zakho xa uxolo kunye nokuvisisana kuqhubeka kwintsapho, kwaye kungekhona emva kwesinye isihlazo. Ekubeni kulula ukuxelela umama malunga nokukhulelwa kunokuba bobabini abazali ngokukhawuleza, zama ukummema, umzekelo, ukuhamba, okanye ulinde uze ube yedwa. Yithi unomxholo omkhulu kwaye ucele ukuba uphulaphule. Udinga ukuthetha ngokuzithelekileyo nangokuzithemba. Khumbula ukuba phambi kwengxoxo kufuneka ugqibe ukuba uza kuhlala njani. Yiba nenyaniso kwaye uthembeke, uthethe yonke inyaniso kunye nazo zonke iinkcukacha. Yiba nomonde, kuba Usenakukwazi ukuphepha ukuthetha kwaye indlela ephuma phambili kukunamathela kwisidima.
Khumbula ukuba amava akho malunga nendlela yokuxelela umama kunye nobawo ukuba ukhulelwe kakubi ekukhuliseni intsapho yabantwana. Abazali bakho abayiintshaba zakho, kwaye banqwenela ukuthetha nabo, bacele ukuba bakuthembe. Batsho ukuba uyabathemba ngokupheleleyo.