Ngaphambi kokungena emlanjeni onokuqhaqhaqha kwaye ongenakulinganiswa obizwa ngokuthi "ubudlelwane obukhululekile", cinga: uyifunayo ntoni? Ufuna ntoni kubo? Kwaye uzimisele ukunikela ntoni xa izinto zihamba kakuhle, njengoko uceba?
Kuthetha ukuthini igama elithi "ubudlelwane obukhululekile"?
Ngokuqinisekileyo, sinokuthi oku lubudlelwane bamaqabane anezinga eliphezulu lokuzimelela kunye nophuhliso lwabantu, oko kukuthi, abantu abazimeleyo, abazithembayo bachitha ixesha kunye kuphela ngenxa yokuba baziziva behle kwaye bekhululekile kunye. Akukho ukuzibophelela, ukuziva, umsebenzi, umona okanye ukwesaba ukulahleka. Yonke into isekelwe kuphela kwikhetho lokuzikhethela kokubili kunye nokulungelelanisa nayiphi na iindwendwe.
Kodwa ukuguqulwa kwezesondo ezifezekileyo, kubonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba inkululeko enjalo ayibonakali nje kuphela kwintliziyo, kodwa nakwizesondo, ubudlelwane obukhululekile. Wena. Ulungele ukuqaphela kuphela wena, kodwa neqabane lakho lilungelo "lokushiya".
Ukuba umfana unika ngokusondeleyo ubudlelwane obuvulekile - akumangalisi. Kuye, oku kunemiba entle: akukho mbopheleleko, akukho xanduva kuye. Mhlawumbi oku akubalulekanga kuwe ngeli nqanaba lobudlelwane, kodwa kuya kuba kuhle ukucinga ukuba kutheni umfana efuna ubudlelwane obukhululekile - kuba kutheni kuye? Kwaye kutheni ufuna?
Ulwalamano olulolo hlobo luhlala lunokwenzeka kwiimeko ezimbini: nokuba esinye sesibini sikulungele nantoni na, ukuba sisondele kumntu ethandana ngothando, okanye lobu buhlobo besikhashana ngaphandle kokuxhalabisa, kungabi nabubele okanye kulungele, de kube into ebaluleke kakhulu. Kuphi na indawo oziva ukhululekile - khetha wena. Into enye icacile: ubudlelwane bezocwangco ekhethekileyo ngumendo wabantu abavuthiwe kwaye baqinileyo abayaziyo ngokucacileyo oko bafunayo kwaye bangakheli iingcinga ezingadingekile malunga neqabane, ngaphandle koko inkqantosi echitshiweyo ingakwazi ukuhlala ngonogada emva koku.
Ndicinga ukuba into ebaluleke kakhulu kule shishini kukufumanisa ngamanye amantombazana enkwenkwe yakho kwaye uthatha lula, ukuba, ngokwenene, awukhathaleli. Ukongezelela, ukukhathalela, ububele kunye nokuqinisekiswa komntu ngamnye kuthi ufuna imihla yonke. Okokugqibela, okwenene, ngowakho, kodwa khumbula njalo - ufanelekele. Lowo ulungele ukuthatha uxanduva kwaye uyakunyamekela, kwaye kungekhona ukuqhuba kuphela kwiiklabhu zobusuku ukuya kwelinye ukuya kwisazi. Kwaye oku kukuhle, mhlawumbi, kwindawo ethile. Mhlawumbi kubalulekile ukujonga ngeenxa zonke?
Ngokuphathelele ulwalamano olukhululekile emtshatweni, kunokukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngokomzekelo, isibini esitshatileyo sihlala ndawonye kungekhona ngenxa yokuba sithandana kwaye zihlala kakuhle, kodwa ngenxa yokuba zikhululekile-zinabantwana abaqhelekileyo, zizinzile ubomi bemihla ngemihla, i-estate, kunye namaxesha amashishini. Enyanisweni, oku kukuthi, mhlawumbi, ngakumbi nangakumbi kwintsapho ekuqondeni kwethu, ubunjani bentsebenziswano enjalo.
Ngamanye amaxesha umfazi nje uyavuma ilungelo lomyeni wakhe "lokushiya". Kwaye ngandlela-thile ichaza ngokucacileyo. Ngokomzekelo, isithembu sesilisa okanye into yokuba uxolisayo kumantombazana amnandi, ongazange abe nomntu okhululekileyo. Ekubonweni kokuqala, kunokubonakala ngathi le ntsapho nayo inobungozi obukhululekile. Kodwa yonke into ingaba kude kakhulu. Kungcono, ngaphambi kokuba wenze izigqibo, emva kokuba ucele umyeni wakhe: "Uvakalelwa njani ngobudlelwane obukhululekile kwintsapho yakho?" Kwaye, mhlawumbi, uya kuva ukuba ilungelo lokukhulula ubudlelwane bezocansi kwintsapho yena uyaziqonda yena ngokwakhe, kodwa luhlobo luni inkululeko ukuba lo mdlalo ufikelela kwelinye injongo?
Ngokuqinisekileyo, umntu akanakukulahleka isizukulwana esincinane, obomi bakhe kunye nobomi bentsapho basenokuthatha kwiifom ezizimeleyo kunye ezizimeleyo. Nangona kunjalo, izizukulwana ezindala ziyakwazi ukuqala konke okukhuni. Kule minyaka yobuhlanga benkcazelo yobuqhetseba, kunokuhlala kubonakala ngathi kukho into ebalulekileyo idlula kwaye ufuna zonke
Enyanisweni, ukuba lo lukhethi olukhethekileyo lwabantu abadala abadala abazimeleyo ngaphandle kweengcamango, kutheni? Akuyena wonke umntu olungele ukuqhubeka efuna isigxina sakhe okanye ekulindeleni kwakhe ukukholisa indlela yokuphila. Kodwa into eyintloko kukuba sikhumbule ukuba intsapho ayikho "ukungabi nkululeko", kwaye ubudlelwane obuvumelanayo buya kwenzeka!