Abaninzi balindele uthando, bephupha, bebandezeleka, kodwa loo nto iphupha lihlala liphupha, kwaye ulwalamano aluhambeli kakuhle kwaye luphela ngolunye udideko. Kwaye isizathu sisilula - kakhulu bambalwa abantu bayaqonda ukuba uthando luyiphumo lomsebenzi onzima owenziwe ngabathandi ababini. Uthando alulindelwe, luyidalwa imihla ngemihla, onke amagama kunye nezenzo. Ngaphandle koko, xa uthando luwela kwaye umnqweno uyaphula, akukho nto ihlalayo, apho kuya kuba lufanele ukugcina ubudlelwane. Kodwa umbuzo wukuthi, luhlobo luni lomsebenzi, yintoni efunekayo ukwenza yonke into njengephupha? Indlela yokugcina uthando ngolwalamano? Kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ukugcina ubudlelwane beentsapho emtshatweni, indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe ukuze baqhubeke kunye kunye ekupheleni, banesandla, bengavumeli ukuba omnye akhubeke, akhusele ekuhluphekeni kwansuku zonke? Kuye kwenzeka ukuba yonke into ayinzima kangako njengoko kubonakala, kodwa kungekhona nje lula njengoko umntu angathanda. Ukufunda ubudlelwane phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini, izazi zeengqondo zifumene iimpendulo kwimibandela emininzi, kodwa uzama izicwangciso ezilandelayo zengxaki yazo, ungalibali ukuba umntu ngamnye ngumntu, kwaye akukho ndlela yendalo yonke yokugcina iingqondo. Kwaye ngoko ke umthetho wokuqala kunye obaluleke kakhulu kulwalamano - kufuneka uhlale uphulaphula intliziyo yakho. Musa ukukhawuleza kwaye uvavanye ekusebenzeni zonke iingcebiso, indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane obude nomyeni wakhe. Kodwa, ukuphulaphula ilizwi langaphakathi, kuyimfuneko ukuphumeza iziphakamiso ezifanelekileyo kakhulu kwiimeko ezithile. Akufuneki ukuthetha, iingcebiso ezinikezelwa ngabangqondo bezengqondo zilapha zingumzekelo wokugcina uthando ngobudlelwane nomyeni okanye umthandi, kodwa ukuze usebenzise ezi ngcebiso kwimiba ethile, kufuneka uqalise umcimbi ngokuchanekileyo, ucingisise iimpawu zomntu othandayo.
Indlela yokugcina ulwalamano nentanda yakho?
1. Gcina umdla kumntu wakho
Amadoda ngokwemvelo abazingeli, kwaye beziva ukuba ixhoba liyabanjwa, banokulahlekelwa ngumdla kuyo. Ewe, ulwalamano lufanele lube lunyanisekileyo kwaye luqonde, kwaye loo mntu kufuneka abe nomuzwa wokuthi uyathandwa. Kodwa ngezihlandlo kuya kuba luncedo ukuba kufuneka aphinde aphumelele indawo yintanda ethandekayo, ngoko umthonyama wakhe wobuzingeli uya kuneliseka, kodwa kungekhona kwindleko yabantu abangaziwayo, kodwa ngokubulela kumfazi othandekayo. Kodwa ukukrokra nokunyusa iimvakalelo zesikhwele akukufanelekanga, kunokuthi kube nomphumo ochasene ngokupheleleyo.
2. Musa ukuvumela i-monotony
Inyaniso yokuba amadoda isithembu ayaziwa ixesha elide. Kwaye, nangona kunjalo, oomama bonke baphupha ngokunyaniseka, kwaye ngokwenene bayamangalisa ukufunda ukuba othandekayo ukhangwa kwabanye abantu. Ngako oko, abafazi bayakhuthazwa ukuba batshintshe nantoni na into engaphandle komfanekiso, ukudala umntu ukuba ayenze into engafanelekanga. Kakade ke, ngelixa uhlala ucinga ngokukhethwa kwamanye amaqabane.
3. Funda indlela yokuthetha nomhlobo wakho.
Kuya kubonakala ukuba le nto isisiseko, kuba wonke umntu uthetha. Kodwa kuphela isiphumo soqhagamshelwano akusoloko sifana nathi. Ukuqwalasela ngokucophelela iminqweno kunye nezinto ezikhethiweyo zeqabane, jonga ukuba uyayibona njani le nto okanye loo ngcaciso. Ngako oko, kunokwenzeka ukuqonda indlela enxibelelwano eyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yokuxazulula imiba engqubuzanayo, indlela engcono ngayo ukubonisa ulwazi olunokubangela ukuphendula okungalunganga, kunye nendlela engcono yokuthetha ngayo imbono yakho ngaphandle kokubangela ukulwa. Kwaye ke, kubalulekile ukuba kungekhona ukuphulaphula kuphela, kodwa ukuva intanda, nokuba kungenjalo umdla wakhe unokukhawuleza.
4. Yiba ngumhlobo, umfazi kunye nenkosikazi
Ukuba indoda ibona iqabane elithembekileyo kwintombi, ngelixa umfazi onothando nothembekileyo, ozele ngokugqithiseleyo, ngoko mhlawumbi akayikufuna kuphela ukugcina ubudlelwane, kodwa ukuqinisa kwabo, umzekelo ngomtshato womthetho.
Kodwa ukuba indoda ethandekayo iya kuba yindoda, oko akusikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi uthando luya kuba ngonaphakade. Yaye xa zonke iingxaki ezinxulumene nokuvela kwintsapho entsha kuya kuphelile, ke yithuba lokucinga malunga nendlela yokugcina ulwalamano lwentsapho. Ngenxa yokuba umtshato uyinto encinci kuphela ekuphuhliseni ubudlelwane, kwaye kusekho imingcipheko ezayo, esongela ulonwabo lwabathandwa.
Indlela yokugcina ulwalamano nomyeni wakhe?
Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokugcina ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe, kodwa ukuze kutshabalalise olu lwalamano lunelungelo lokugcina ukulingana kwimihla ngemihla kunye nobudlelwano obusondeleyo. Asoloko ikhokelela ekuqhawuleni umtshato, ngokuqhelekileyo abantu bahlala ndawonye kwintsimi enye, baphendulele ubomi bomnye esihogweni. Kodwa uxanduva lonke lolwalamano luhlala kuphela kumagxa omtshato kwaye bona ngokwabo bakhetha imeko ekuphuhliseni ubudlelwane babo. Iziphakamiso ezilandelayo aziyi kuba ngolu hlobo kulabo abafuna ukudala ukuvisisana nobomi bentsapho:
- yonke imihla yokuhlala kunye kunye nobuchule, onke amagama kunye nezenzo zingenza okanye zichithe, zihlale zicinga ngemiphumo yamagama nezenzo zakho;
- Xa ingxaki isondela okanye ingxabano iya kusiza, misela injongo yokujongana nale ngxaki kunye. Ngenxa yoko, akuyona into engathandekiyo ukuba uqhelane neendlela zokunxibelelana kokungabikho ngquzulwano;
- qaphele impilo yakho yempilo. Izifo zichaphazela isimo sengqondo, kunye namandla omntu. Isiphumo siya kuba ukungabi nentshisekelo ebomini, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo kwaye ubomi abuyi kuthatha ixesha elide ukulinda;
- ungavumeli ukugwetywa. Ukuba into ephazamiseka ngokukhawuleza, khangela izizathu, ilizwi leemvakalelo zakho kunye kunye nibheke indlela yokulungisa imeko;
- Ukuqonda kunye kunye nentlonipho akufanele ibe yinto engenanto. Kufuneka kube yinjongo efanayo, ukuba ubani kufuneka ahambe, abambe izandla ngokuqinileyo.
Ukunyamekela indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane obuhle kwintsapho yonke imihla, kwaye ngokuvisisana ubudlelwane kunye nabathandekayo kuya kuzisa uvuyo nolonwabo usuku ngalunye.