Ukunxibelelana nomntu, zonke iintombazana zilindela kuye ukuziphatha okufanelekileyo kwiminyaka yakhe. Kunzima kunene, ukuba indlela yakhe ivela "unyana ka-mama", ngubani oxhomekeke kakhulu kumfazi oyintloko ebomini bakhe kwaye akafuni ukwenza nantoni na.
"Unyana wamama" - ngubani lo?
Unxibelelwano olukufutshane phakathi komama nomntwana lufakwe ngumgangatho ngokwawo: xa kufika ekukhanyeni, umntwana ufumana ukutya, ukufudumala nokunyamekela kuye. Umdala uba, xa uwela ngaphantsi kweempembelelo zobulili , okufuna ukuba inkwenkwe ibe nengqiqo, isibindi, ngokuzimela ngunina. Akubona wonke umzali onamandla okudweba umgca phakathi kokuthembela kunye nesithandwa sonke ngexesha. Kuyavela ukuba "unyana ka-mama" ngumdala omdala wezinto ezilandelayo:
- Ukuqhagamshela kwengqondo kumama . Amanye amabhinqa aphikisana nemvelaphi yawo, ngaphandle kokukhangela ngesondo kunye nobunkokheli.
- Ukubonakaliswa kokulibaziseka kwesi simpawu somntu . Ukuchonga ukuba khona kwayo kunokubonelelwa kwimeko yokunxibelelana rhoqo kunye nokuphumelela kwinqanaba elithile lokuzithemba.
- Ukungathembeki kwinqanaba lomtshato . "Unyana wamama" ungathandabuzeki ukuba kubalulekile ukuba utshintshe ubomi obunomdla kunye nomama onothando ekuphumeni kwendawo yokuthuthuzela kunye nentombazana, nangona kunjalo wayenomdla kuye.
"Unyana wamama" - ingqondo
Ixesha lexesha labantu liye linesimo sengqondo, oluye lwafundiswa ngoogqirha. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uneminyaka engakanani "unyana ka-mama", isithunzi sakhe sengqondo sibonakala sisifo se-phobia sokulahlekelwa ngumntu othandekayo kunye no- Oedipus complex . Okukugqibela kwafunyanwa nguSigmund Freud, owayekholelwa ukuba:
- Wonke umntu obandezeleka kwesi sifo ufana no-Oedipus ukumkani, owabulala uyise waza watshata nonina uJocasta.
- Inkwenkwe, njengoko uthando lwakhe lukhula, uqala ukuziva umona ngoyise.
- Xa isiqhotyoshelo sithengiswa kwisiganeko sesondo, intombazana iqala ukubayika ukuba uyise uya kusebenzisa ubudlova.
"Unyana kaMama" - izizathu
Ukunquma ukubandezeleka kweli ngxaki yengqondo kwinqanaba elide lokuziqhelanisa akunakwenzeka. Ukuba umntu unomnye ubuncinane obunxibelelwano kunye nabasetyhini, ngentliziyo uqikelele ukungaphumeleli kwakhe. "Unyana kaMama" nonina bayazi kakuhle ukuba akukho nto intombazana eya kuthatha isigqibo malunga nobuhlobo kunye nomlingane onjalo. Izizathu zokuxhomekeka kwenkwenkwana kumama zilandelayo:
- ukungabikho koqhagamshelwano noontanga okanye ukukhwabanisa kwabo;
- uhlobo olungathandabuzekiyo lomzali ongenalo uluvo oluhlukileyo endlwini;
- ukuvunyelwa ngumama kwanoma yiyiphi inxaxheba yomntwana, nokuba kwintsimi engalunganga;
- ekudaleni umama wengxaki yokufuna umntwana wakhe kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi.
"Unyana wamama" - iimpawu
Amantombazana amancinci athetha kunye neentombi ezithembekileyo zizisa iintlungu zokuziphatha kunye nezixhobo ezintsha. Umdala umfazi uba, unolwazi oluninzi kwaye kulula ukuba afune oko abantu babiza ngokuthi "unyana ka-mama oqhelekileyo." Xa edibene nesini esahlukileyo, unikwe:
- Ukuhluleka ukuzimela ngokuzimeleyo iingxaki ezinzulu, kwanomnqweno wokubaleka kubo.
- I-serfdom kunye nokuphazamiseka kuyo yonke into enxulumene nengxoxo yeengxaki zentsapho.
- Isidingo esikhulu sikamama, ngokubonga ukuba yindoda evela kuyo nayiphi na isihloko iya kuxubusha imbeko yowesifazane owamzalela.
"Unyana wamama" - inzuzo kunye neengxaki
Kwindoda enesimo esifanayo sengqondo kwintsapho, ininzi yamantombazana inokufumana i-cons. Udidi oluthambileyo kunye nokunyaniseka kwizigqibo zomzali ziphonswa emehlweni. "Unyana womama" ebuhlotsheni bubukeka njengento ephosakeleyo, kodwa unokufumana iziqhamo:
- Uhlobo lo Amadoda, abaye baba yinxalenye yowesifazana, abanako ukukhathalela intlangano yokomoya. Basenokwenzeka ukuba bathathe i-perfume ephezulu okanye iintyatyambo.
- Ukunyanzelisa . Le yindlela elula kakhulu yokuqonda ukuba ngubani "unyana ka-mama", ukuba uyamqonda njani indoda. Ulula ngokukhawuleza imbono yombono, apho wayeqinisekile ukuba embalwa imizuzu edlulileyo.
- Unonophelo olunzulu . Uya kuba lula ukuza kuhlangula, ukuba kuyimfuneko.
Isiqingatha sesibini sonyana "unina" kufuneka silungele ukuba nemiphumo emibi yobomi bomntu onomama olawulayo. Ezi ziquka:
- ukungabikho kwamanyathelo;
- imfuneko yokuqwalasela okongeziweyo;
- Ukucinga ngombono wenina kwinqanaba lenyaniso kwisigqibo sokugqibela;
- uxanduva oluguqukayo kumagxa omlingane wobomi;
- ukoyika ukwenza izigqibo.
"Unyana wamama" - njani ukuhlangabezana nale nto?
Iingcali zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba abafana abanjalo ababonakali kwimindeni epheleleyo, apho kukho indawo yokuthuthuzela kwengqondo. Phakathi koomama abanamandla, abafazi baninzi, badidekile kwintsimi eyahlukileyo. Ukuba kukho uyise kule ntsapho, ngoko udlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuthathweni kwezigqibo. "Unyana kaMama" uxilongwa ngumntu ozive ephakathi kwendalo ukususela ebuntwaneni kwaye uyaqonda ukuba akukho mntu uya kuzicingela iiminqweno zakhe ngendlela efanayo nonina. Phakathi kwemigaqo ephambili yentombazana esendleleni yokulwa nomfazi onamandla , kufuneka ifake:
- ukulingana xa uthetha kunye nosapho lwakhe;
- ubulumko xa uthatha isinyathelo ngasinye ekudibaniseni kunye nesoka;
- umonde ongenammiselo ngethuba lokumka kwakhe kumama.
Owesilisa - "Unyana kaMama" - iingcebiso zengqondo yengqondo
Amaphephancwadi amancinci amabhinqa ngelizwi elilodwa lenza ukuba abafundi bangenathemba yokuthetha nomfana onjalo. Baqinisekile ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba "unyana ka-mama" unaphakade. Iingcali zengqondo azinjalo ngokwezigaba: bacinga ukuba unako ukugcina isithuba ngexesha kwaye uthinte iqhosha elinxibelelwano phakathi komzali kunye nenzala. Ukuze unqobe umncintiswano onamandla, ufuna:
- Ukulahla imfazwe evulekile . Indoda ayikwazi ukubonisa ngokungafuni umama wayo. Ukugculelwa kunye nokuthukwa kwidilesi yakhe, akayi kuzinyamezela kwaye uya kubaleka.
- Chaza ngokucacileyo imida yobomi bomntu . Ngaphandle kokungqubana ngokuthe ngqo, kunzima ukuseka umgca umama ongeke angene ngawo.
- Cingisisa ngamava abanye abantu . "Unyana kaMama" emva kokuba uqhawulole umtshato sele sele ukhetha ukukhetha, oko kutheni uphatha abafazi ngokukrakra nokusola.