Isinamathiselo - yintoni, iindidi zayo, indlela yokwahlula uthando oluvela emthandweni?

Isinamathiselo - le nto ibonisa umbala omuhle ebantwini, ibonisa ukuba umntu unemizwa enhle neyobubele, iimvakalelo ezikunceda ukuba zenziwe ngabahlobo, zigcine ubudlelwane beentsapho kunye nokubandakanyeka kwabanye abantu.

Kuthetha ukuthini isinamathiselo?

Isiqhotyoshelweyo kumntu ngumgaqo-mveliso obandakanya iindidi ezahlukeneyo zezizwe: ulwalamano olusondeleyo, uthando, inzala, ukuzinikela okunzulu nokunyaniseka. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukudibanisa kuyabuhlungu kwaye kuyonakalise, okwenza kube nzima ukuchaza ubungakanani bomntu kwaye kuthintela ukwakha ubudlelwane obuhle nabanye abantu abalulekileyo.

Ukwahlula njani uthando kumsa?

Indlela yokuqonda uthando okanye uthando-ngokuphindaphindiweyo lo mbuzo ubuzwa ngabafazi, abakwazi ukwahlula ezi zizwe ngenxa yemvakalelo yabo yendalo. Ukuvakalelwa ngothando kunye nothando lokumahluko:

Ungayilahla njani uthando?

Indlela yokulahla isinamathiselo kumntu, kuba ukuxhomekeka kunganiki ubomi obuqhelekileyo, uphefumule, uzibone njengomntu? Iingcali zengqondo zicebisa kwiimeko ezinjalo ukuba zifake izicelo kwiingcali, kunzima ukuqeda ingxaki enjalo, ukuba akukho nto inokwenzeka, musa ukuphelelwa lithemba kwaye kuyafaneleka ukuzama ukuqala ukuthatha amanyathelo enkululeko kwili ndlela:

Iifom zokunamathisela

Iziqhotyoshelwano zingahlukana ngokwemimiselo kwiintlobo eziliqela, nganye zazo zibekwe ebuntwaneni, kodwa zixhomekeke kumoya womntwana. Iziqhotyoshelweyo:

  1. Ukhuselekile (usempilweni) - lenziwa kwintsapho apho iimfuno zomntwana ekunyamekelweni, ingqwalasela kunye nomdla ziyaneliseka ngokupheleleyo. Abantwana kwintsapho enjalo bayakhula bathemba, bezolile kwaye bavumelanise lula kwiindawo ezijikelezayo.
  2. Ukugwema - kwenzeka xa umntwana enganyanzelwanga, uyakhula ngokunyanisekileyo, kuxhomekeke kwimibono yabanye, abangakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo.
  3. Ukungalungelelaniswa - kwintengiselwano kwintsapho apho abazali banelungelo lokunyanzeliswa ngogonyamelo - umntwana uyakhuthazeka, ahlasele abanye.

Ukufakela Emoyeni

Nasiphi na isinamathiselo sinamathele kwiimvakalelo ezimbi, ezintle, okanye umxube wazo. Ukuxhamla ngokomzwelo kwintombazana okanye indoda ivela ngenxa yesondlo soxhatshazo ngokwesini kunye nakwabasebhinqa iyenze ngokukhawuleza. Ukuxhamla ngokomzwelo kunesimo esifanelekileyo: ubudlelwane kunye nokubandakanywa kwemvakalelo kunzima ukutshabalalisa - esi sizathu esihle sezibini, kodwa ukuba ubudlelwane busekelwe kwiimvakalelo ezinobungozi okanye kungenakwenzeka, kunzima ukuba abantu abanjalo bahlukane, bayabethandana baze bazondane, besenza isangqa esibuhlungu besifiso esibuhlungu komnye nomnye.

Uthando oluthandekayo

Ukufakela okuthintekayo kwintlalo yengqondo kubhekisela kwimingcipheko yokunxulumana neurotic kwaye kubonakaliswe ngokunyanisekileyo kumama, okwenza kube lula ukubonisa ukuba lolu hlobo lwesinamathiselo kwezinye iintlobo ezinokuthenjelwa: i-ambivalent, neurotic. Ukuphazamiseka apha kubonakala kwiindlela eziphazamisayo zobudlelwane: umntwana unamathele kumama, kodwa xa ehamba ngokukhawuleza, xa ebonakala kukho ukutshatyalaliswa kwemincili, ngokukhawuleza kufakwe endaweni yokukhala, ukuhlambalaza nokunyanzela umama, ngokushiya umntwana yedwa.

Isiqhotyoshelweyo esingummiselo

Ukugqithisa okugqithisileyo kwintsimbi yokuxhamla kubonakaliswe ngabantwana nakwabantu abadala abaye bakhuliswa ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye bafumana ngaphantsi kwe-caresses kunye neengqalelo, bakhulela kwiimeko "zokulamba kwindlala". Ukuqhotyoshelweyo okunamandla kunokubangela ukungalingani kwengqondo engathandekiyo-ingxaki yokuqhotyoshelweyo, xa umntwana, umfana osemtsha, ezama ukunyamekela abantu abangaziwayo, okwenza kube lula abantu abangathembekanga.

Ukubonakaliswa kwesinamathiselo esingenanto:

Ngothando

Uxinzelelo lokuqhotyosheliswa kohlobo oluxubekileyo, apho kukho ukuxhalabisa okuqinileyo kunye nomnqweno wokudibanisa kunye nomnye okhethekileyo, ukuyidiliza kuyo - oku kukuthandana. Umntwana osandul 'ukuzalwa, ukuchithwa kwengqondo kunye nonina kubaluleke kakhulu ekusindeni, iinkqubo zesigqirha sengqondo yomntwana kunye nomama zisebenza kwisigqi sokuvumelanisa, zivakalelwa. Kodwa umntwana ukhula kwaye kufuneka ahluke ngokusuka kumama.

Ingxaki yeminyaka emithathu, xa umntwana ekhusela aze azame ukwenza izinto ngokwakhe, ngelixa ibinzana eliphambili kule minyaka "mna mna!" Kubonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba lixesha lokujonga nomntu omncinci ilungelo lakhe lokuzimela kunye nokwazi umhlaba ngokwakhe. Unina othusayo unqabile kakhulu le nkqubo, kwenzeka ngokuba ngezinye ixesha wayenengxaki yokuhlukana nonina, ngelixa kuvela iimvakalelo:

Iimpawu zoqhagamshelo lwe-symbiotic yomntwana nonina:

Uthando ngocansi

Isidingo sokubambisana nesithandana sesini kubasetyhini sichazwa ngakumbi kunabantu. Isithintelo esithandana okanye esithandana ngesondo senziwe phantsi kwefuthe lokukhutshwa ngexesha lesini ngesini esikhulu se-oxytocin, esasisindiswa ngabantu besitrogenone, kwaye kwabesetyhini kuphakanyiswa ngu-estrogen, ihomoni enefuthe kunye "nomthendeleko". Ngoko ke, abafazi banokuqhotyoshelana nomlingane emva kokuqhagamshelana kokuqala ngokwesondo, kwaye banamathele kubaluleke kakhulu kwisini.

Umngcipheko kunye nomlingane uboniswa ngumfazi kakhulu. Kwindoda, ukuxhalabisa ngokweqabane lomntu wesini kwakha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kulo mfazi, oku kufakelwa kunzulu, kuba kuthwala umnqweno wokubulela kwintlalo yolonwabo olunikezelwa ngumlingane.

U kuphepha Uhlobo loQinisekiso

Ikhonkco ye-attachment ibonisa ukuphepha ukuxhamla njengento yokuphulaphula ephakathi kwama-25% abantu. Abantwana abanomzekelo wokuphepha wokuziphendulela baziphatha ngendlela ebonakala ngathi bangabandakanyeki ukusuka kwicala: umama ushiya okanye uza kubo. Ngolu hlobo lokuthintela, umntwana angakwazi ukuthetha ngokuphepha nabantu abangabazi. Abazali abavumi ukuhlambalaza kubantwana abanjalo, bebonisa abahlobo babo ukuba umntwana wabo unokuzimela iminyaka. Olu hlobo lwesinamathiselo lubonakala kula maxesha alandelayo:

Ukuphepha ukuthintelo - iimpawu ebuntwaneni kunye nabantu abadala:

Uthando lwe-Neurotic

Ukuqhagamshela komntwana kumama kunokuba kubuhlungu. Abanye abantwana bafuna ukuhlala rhoqo koomama, kwaye kuthatha imizuzu embalwa ukuba ahambe kunye namaqhinga, kwaye umama omhle ukhawuleza ukukhawuleza ukukhulisa umntwana, amdonsa kuyo yonke indawo. Ngethuba lexesha, ukuphathwa kakubi ngumntwana okhulayo kukuqinisa kwaye kuqale ukudala uxhalabhiso olukhulu. Abantwana abanjalo bafunda umgaqo wokuba umntu othandekayo asondele, kufuneka ahlupheke aze adlale ngokubandezeleka kwakhe.

Kubantu abadala, ugulo okanye uthando olungathandabuzekiyo ludluliselwa kubo bonke ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo, kodwa ngakumbi nangakumbi xa kukho ubudlelwane bobuhlobo. Indlela ebonakala ngayo:

Uthando olungalunganga

Ukuchithwa koqhotyoshelweyo ngendlela yokubonakalisa iindlela zokuziphatha eziphikisanayo kukuqhotyoshelweyo. Olu hlobo lwesinamathiselo lwakhiwa ebuntwaneni, kwintsapho apho abazali bexhatshazwa kwindlobongela baze baphathe kakubi umntwana, ngenxa yoko, abantwana bakhula abakwazi ukulawula ukuziphatha kwabo, okubonakalayo ngokunyaniseka. Oku kuboniswa kubuxoki, ukweba, ukuzilimaza wena nabanye, ubundlobongela. Bahlala kumgaqo othi "andinanto yokulahleka!" Izimpawu zokuqhotyosheliswa okungahleliwe: