Thatha isinyathelo sokuqala, fowuna umntu ongowokungazi, uvumelane nesivumelwano esibizayo, ushiye umsebenzi osikrakrayo ... Ezi zenzo zingabhaniswa ngokungapheliyo. Kodwa kukho uhlobo lwabantu abangazange bawenze ebomini babo. Iphuso labo ukungaqiniseki kwabo ngamandla abo. Namhlanje, izigidi zabantu zijongene nale ngxaki, eyayibe yimpumelelo edala kakhulu! Ngubo bazinikezele kwinqaku lethu malunga nendlela yokunqoba ukungaqiniseki kunye nokuziva ngamandla kuwe.
Ukungakhuselekanga ngokwalo-kubangele
Izifundo ezizimeleyo zakutshanje zibonise ukuba malunga ne-90% yabantu behlabathi ngandlela-thile banezinto ezinzima kwaye bazuze ebomini kunokuba banako ngoku. Kodwa ngexesha elibaluleke kakhulu baholwa yi nkolelo kubo kwaye babuyela emva.
Uphi na ukungathandabuzeki okuphazamisa umsebenzi, ukusebenzisana nehlabathi langaphandle kwaye ujongele ubomi? Ukugxeka zonke iimpazamo zabantu abadala ekukhulisweni kwabantwana. Sifunda ngathi ngabanye, okokuqala, kubazali bethu. Ukuva naliphi na ingongoma kwidilesi yethu, siqala ukudala iingcamango zethu. Khawucinge ngoluphi uluvo umntwana, ohlala egxekwa? "Awunako nantoni na!", "Kutheni ndifuna isihlwayo esinjalo?", "Uhlala uphosa ama-toys, sluts!". Uluhlu lunokuqhubeka ngonaphakade. Abazali bazama ukufundisa, kodwa kunoko bafake kwi-psyche ephosakeleyo yeemfesane kunye nezithintelo zentsana, ezingenakunqoba xa ekhulile. Ngaphandle kokholo kwedwa, umntu uyaba neentloni kwaye angenakunyaniseka. Ukungakhuseli kubonisa iimpawu ezinjengeenkathazo eziqhubekayo, ukunganeliseki ngobomi bomntu, kwaye kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu ukuthambekela kwimikhwa emibi, ukuchithwa nokuzibulala. Kodwa xa abazali bekufuneka baxhase umntwana ngexesha elikufunekayo. Ngethamsanqa, ukunqoba ukungathandabuzeki kunokwenzeka nakumntu omdala. Kwaye, ngokuxhomekeke kwinkimbinkimbi yolu meko, akufuneki ukuba uqhagamshelane nengcali yengqondo. Unokukunqoba izakhiwo zakho ngokwakho.
Njani ukunqoba ukungathandabuzeki?
Zininzi iindlela zokujongana nokungakhuselekanga. Kwaye bonke babo baxhomekeke kwi-introspection baze bahlangane kunye nokoyika, njengoko bathi "ubuso nobuso." Ukuqala, kufuneka sixazulule ingxaki yokunqoba ukungaqiniseki kuthi ngokwethu ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo:
- Khumbula indlela kwaye ngaphantsi kweziphi iimeko oye wakwazi ukujamelana nokuzonwabisa. Ngubani okuncede? Ngoko, ngaba loo nto yayimangalisa kwaye iphazamisa, njengoko kwakubonakala kuwe?
- Ukuba uhlala uxhalabile xa ukhawuleza kwaye ukwesaba ukwenza iipazamo, uzama ukunciphisa ixesha kunye nendlela yokucinga ngomsebenzi owawunikwe. Xa wenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo, umntu akafanele akhuphe. Vumela ukuba usebenze kwaye ucinge ngezinga lakho eliqhelekileyo, ukuze ungaziva ukhululekile nawe ngokwakho.
- Xa ubhekene nesimo esinomdla, zama ukucinga ukuba kuya kwenzeka ntoni ukuba awukwazi ukuhlangabezana nayo. Ngoko kuya kukhwankqisa njengoko kubonakala kuwe ngoku? Ngamanye amaxesha wonke umntu unelungelo lokwenza iimpazamo, ngoko ukuxhalabisa apha akukho nto.
- Khangela kwaye ucinge, kwaye ufuna bani ukuzithemba kwaye uphumelele bani? Ngaba uzama umntu ongaphandle, ukuvavanya abanye okanye wena? Ukuba uthanda wena kunye nendlela okhoyo ngayo, awulahlekelwa ixesha lokukhululeka ngenxa yabanye?
- Fumana kwindawo yakho umntu okholelwa kuwe kwaye uya kuhlala exhasa. Mxelele kwiimeko ezinzima kunzima. Mhlawumbi kuya kuba ngumthombo wokuphefumlelwa kunye nesishukumiso sokuba uswele.
Ukongeza kumsebenzi wokomoya ngokwakho umbuzo wendlela yokuphelisa ukungaqiniseki kunokusombulula ngokusetyenziswa. Ukwenza oku, zama ukuphuma ngaphandle uze wenze ezinye izihlandlo ongayi kuyenza ingqondo yakho. Umzekelo:
- uye kunoma iyiphi ivenkile uze ucele abathengisi ukuba babonise enye yeempahla baze bathethe ngako. Emva kwakho konke ukubonisa intle kwaye ushiye ngaphandle kokuthatha nantoni na;
- kwelinye ivenkile okanye isitrato kukucela ukuba utshintshe imali kuwe;
- ucele abantu abadlulayo malunga nokuba kusele kangakanani, ukuba bafike njani kwivenkile, bacele ukuba batshintshe imali okanye bathenge i-cigarette;
- uye kwi cafe uze ubacele ukuba basebenzise ifowuni yabo. Musa ukwenza imiyalelo, kodwa qhubeka uqhubezela kwisicelo sakho nangona ulaka lwabasebenzi be-caffe;
- Buza umntu ohleli kwibhasi ukuba akunike isihlalo. Izizathu zokubiza akuyimfuneko. Mva nje nge sicelo.
Unokuza neemeko ezifanayo wena. Ukusebenzisa ixesha elifikelelwa kuwe ebomini kwaye lubonakalisa ngokucacileyo ukungazinzi. Khumbula ukuba indlela efanelekileyo yokukrazula ukwesaba kukukwenza oko ukoyikayo. Yenza oku kwaye umbuzo wendlela yokuhlangabezana nokungaqiniseki kuya kuthathwa isigqibo kuwe.