Ingqondo yezobudlelwane kunye nomntu otshatileyo iya kuba mnandi kuninzi, ngokukodwa xa ufumanisa emngceleni kunye neengcamango zokuhlukana. Ubuhlobo obunjalo buya kuhlala bufanelekile, ngokunjalo nanamhlanje, xa imitshato kunye namadoda atshatileyo atshabalalisa abameli abancinci bezesondo ezibuthathaka. Ngokwezentlupheko, unokwahlula ngamaqela amabhinqa abakhetha ukufumana imibono kunye namadoda asetshatiweyo.
Iqela lokuqala li nethemba lokuba kuya kubakho ukuthatha amadoda ngaphandle kwentsapho ibe ngumfazi wakhe. Abafazi abanjalo banomonde kwaye banako ukuhlakulela ubudlelwane ngokulindela othandekayo.
Abafazi beqela lesibini abafuni ukutshata. Banelisekile ngokobudlelwane ngaphandle kwembopheleleko, abanalo umnqweno wokufumana intsapho.
Ukugqiba njani ulwalamano noluntu otshatileyo?
Abaninzi abasetyhini emva kwexesha bazibuza indlela yokuphula ulwalamano nomntu otshatileyo. Ukuze wenze oku ngokuchanekileyo, kubalulekile ukukhangela imeko evela ngaphandle, ukuqonda intlungu yentsapho yalo mntu uvakalelwa ngayo, yiyiphi intlungu ekhoyo umfazi wayo. Ukuze uqonde oku, kufuneka nje uzenzele kumfazi wesilisa otshatileyo.
Ungasebenzisa ukucinga kwaye ucinge ngekamva elizayo elilindele le ndoda. Ngokomzekelo, washiya intsapho yakhe waza watshata kwakhona. Ngaba uyamthemba? Ukuba waqhatha umfazi wakhe, ke akukho mqinisekiso yokuba akayi kuphinda akwenze kwakhona.
Unokucinga ngenye imeko embi. Mhlawumbi lo mntu akanakho inkosikazi enye, kodwa emininzi. Uthetha nabasetyhini abaninzi ngamazwi amnandi afanayo, ufunga ngokuthanda nangokuthembeka. Kukho amaninzi amatyala.
Indlela efanelekileyo kakhulu yokuphuma kwintsebenziswano nendoda esitshatileyo isipelo esifutshane malunga nebudlelwane naye, emva koko kufuneka kufundwe kwakhona,
Akukho mfuneko yokwakha imilingo, kuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba amazwi omntu otshatileyo ayenjani, kuyafaneleka ukuba sicinge ukuba umntu onothando ngokwenene ulala njani nomfazi omnye ubusuku bonke. Kwaye ukuba amadoda atshatiweyo akafuni ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane babo nabafazi bawo, ngoko kutheni abazange bafake umtshato? Kulula ukuphendula lo mbuzo. Into kukuba bakhululekile, kuba bafumana unyameko, uthando kunye nobuhlobo obusondeleyo.