Ngaba uye wakha umnqweno wokufunda iimvakalelo zomntu ngenguqu encinane ebusweni okanye ebusweni, njengoko uDkt. Lightman enza kwimixholo ethi "Ndihlazise"? Qala ufunde le nzu lulwazi kwi-intliziyo eyintliziyo yentliziyo yeli candelo, uze ufumene indlela uvelwano lomntu olubonakalisa ngayo, yintoni impawu ezinikezelayo.
Izibonakaliso ezingabonakali zenceba yomntu kumfazi
Umbuzo unokuvela, kodwa kutheni umntu kufuneka afunde iimpawu zentlungu, kungekhona ngokwaneleyo ukuba umntu uthethe? Inyani kukuba abantu abanamathele ukuveza iimvakalelo zabo ngokuvulekileyo, kwaye kunzima ukuqonda ukuba uluphi uhlobo lweemvakalelo lowo unxibelelana naye-umdla okanye ukunganakwa. Ngoko kufuneka sicinge ngemisebenzi yesintu ukuze sikwazi ukuhlula iimpawu zovelwano olufihlakeleyo.
- Inqaku lovelwano lungaba ngumzamo womntu wokuma ngaphandle kweminye imvelaphi yabanye xa kuvela into enomdla. Umzekelo, indoda ingakwazi ukuqala ngokukhawuleza ixelela amabali amahle okanye ama-anecdotes. Umnqweno wokuzibonakalisa kumfazi uya kubonakaliswa ngolo hlobo lwezandla zomntu onomdla kumntu onomdla kuye, ukujonga rhoqo kumfazi, nangona xa uthetha nabanye abantu, imeko emele "ngokuthula" - amahlombe aqondiswe, isisu sisondele, . Wena uyindoda kumntu, ukuba entlanganisweni uthembele kuwe, ukuma kancane.
- Unqwenela ukufumana iimpawu zenceba kumadoda, umntu kufuneka abuke ubuso obusweni, utshintsho lwayo luya kukuxelela ngokukodwa ukuba unomdla umntu okanye cha. Ngethuba le ncoko, ngaba umqhubi ophakanyisayo uphakamisa iinki zakhe kancane? Uba novelwano kunye nawe, ukuba nje amaqabunga akhe 'angahambi ebunzini lakho' evela ekumangaliseni ngamazwi okanye kwiingubo zakho. Indoda inesihawu kuwe xa, xa ehlangana nawe, uvula umlomo wakhe okwesibini.
- Wonke umntu uyazi izibonakaliso ezingabonakaliyo zokuba novelwano kubasetyhini, njengokudlala ngeengqongqelo, amacici. Amadoda ayengcono, ebusweni bowesifazane othakazelisayo, nabo bazama ukulungisa rhoqo iinwele zabo, baqhekeza i-shirt yabo, ibhatyi, kwaye baguqule ibhulukhwe yabo. Yonke le mpawu ibangela ukwesaba kunye nomnqweno wokukholisa. Kodwa ukuba umntu uhambelana namaqhosha ebhattsheni lakhe, uyasusa, ubeka izandla zakhe ezinqeni, ulungise ibhande, konke oku kuthetha ukuba sele sele esetyenzisile (kunye nangaphezulu) etaweni yakhe.
- Amehlo ayisibuko somphefumlo kunye neenjongo zesilisa kuwe. Kwintlanganiso yokuqala, indoda ibheka into eyamthandayo esuka entloko ukuya enzwaneni, ngoko ibheka isifuba kunye neqhwa, ukuba iimoko zakho ziyamthanda. Ukuba iziphumo zoviwo ziyanelisekile, ngoko oonxibelelwano olubonakalayo abe rhoqo, kwaye abafundi bayanda. Xa indoda iqala ukukhangela ibhinqa, ngokuqhelekileyo ingakhange ikhangele, ayikho nje into enomdla wayo, kodwa ibonisa ukuthanda kwayo.
- Indoda ibambelela ngengubo okanye ichukumise ihlombe - le nto ibonisa ukuba novelwano. Ngoko akusikuncedi nje ukuba ungalahleki kwisihlwele, kodwa uthumela amanqaku kumadoda azungezile ukuba eli bhinqa selivele linomlingane. Ngengqiqo, umntu owenza isenzo eso sele esicinga ukuba umfazi uyenyulwe, ukuba usezandleni zakhe kwaye akayi kuhamba naphi na.
- Indoda ifihla amahlombe akho ngejacket? Oku kungumqondiso
uvelwano, oluthethi nje ukuzama ukufudumala, uthetha ngokukhusela nokukhuselwa. Ukungaqondi kakuhle kuthetha uhlobo "lokumakisha kwintsimi" -kubeka ijeyethi yakhe, uthatha kwaye uyiphukise loo ndoda, ngaloo ndlela ibe yipropati yakhe. - Kubalulekile nokuba yintoni indoda etshoyo, nendlela akwenza ngayo. Uphawu lovelwano luya kubambisana ngokukhawuleza kunye nabanye ukuba bathathe amalungelo abo "okuphanga." Kodwa nangomxholo wenzalo yakhe, indoda iya kuthetha ngenye indlela, iya kusebenzisa zonke iimeko ezenzekayo zezwi lakhe, yenza kube lula, ithambileyo, ukuze loo ntokazi ive kwaye ibalekele yonke into.